So I met a guy, he's smart, cute, active, really nice, obviously likes me. I can't really complain, but I feel like something is missing, a spark maybe?
We dont know eachother that well, but we have made out, but its "meh".. maybe its caused by the fact that we haven't opened completely up for eachother. I honestly dont know what the "issue" is , like mentioned I can't really find anything "wrong" with him.
One part of me wants to keep dating him, and hope it improves. But another part of me dont know if I should continue seeing him.
Most Helpful Guy
Well, there's plenty of people that are supposedly 'good on paper', but I just wouldn't date them.
What one might envisage happening is that, you're just laissez faire about it, and go along with it, because of this list of his qualities that you rattle off, but you're just not feeling it. So you get deeper entrenched in a relationship, and then emotions become involved, he may become attached, and the whole messy situation may become a drag on you, and so both parties are going to end up bitter.
There's a whole world of 'feeling' that we're perpetually told to ignore because of its intangibility. Through experience I can say that, perhaps it's the only thing we should ultimately listen to?
The notion of spark is interesting to me also, just as an incidental. One could argue that we're existing at various levels, sexually, physically, spiritually, mentally. For me, I'm starting to think that if I desire someone integratedly, ie on a number of levels, then that is the makings of an amazing relationship. Most people get caught up, in say, physical desire, without the integrated 'care' aspects towards that person, and thus, they wonder why relationships turn sour and leave one feeling ultimately hollow.0
Most Helpful Girl
How long have you two been seeing each other? If it's only been a couple weeks, give him some more time.
However if it's been a month, and you still aren't feeling it. Then it's okay to let go. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe he is a really swell guy. But for some reason you aren't feeling it and that's okay. We can't fall in love with everyone we meet. If we did, there would be a lot more happy couples.
The thing with life is, sometimes you meet a perfectly good person, but just aren't feeling it. That's totally okay if it happens and doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either person.
Just be honest with him if after a while you realize it's just not happening. That way he can move on and find someone who does have that spark with him.0