Should I hold back and not be so open about my feelings with this guy?

I've been speaking to this guy for around a month now and long story short we really like eachother! He's hoping we can turn into something, he's very serious about it and has even told his family etc about me lol. He's really sweet all the time, like he'll say he literally has eyes for only me and is thinking about me 24/7 bless him. I have been really open with how much I like him too but is it wise to hold back to maintain his interest? He's so special to me, I really don't want to mess this one up.

  • Yes hold back
    21% (3)12% (3)15% (6)Vote
  • No just don't over think things and carry on as normal
    79% (11)80% (20)79% (31)Vote
  • I don't know
    0% (0)8% (2)6% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just to say, *don't* take dating advice from me, but, I should have thought that the function of the 'don't be so open about your feelings' notion, is as an *initial* filter, so people can naturally be wary of people that become attached, 'craving', even though you've barely spoken a word. This is usually an indication that they've actually fallen in love with an image they thus created (we could argue most love is this, but let's not get into that now) mentally, which is slightly unhealthy. To state more explicitly, that this makes sense only when you've just started talking and in the very early stages - which you seem to have passed.

    Personally, I don't think you should play games, and that you should keep things natural, and that you should be wary about circumscribed and intellectually extricated *shoulds* with regard to relationships, that have lost their context. He's expressed his strong desire for you. Why do you torture his pour soul with lukewarm-ness :( Poor fellow. All he wishes for is his raging desire to be reciprocated (and ultimately consummated, in the wild throes of that youthish passion, that we adults so yearn for)!

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    • Lmao I'm not doing too well on holding back my feelings anyway, I told him I dreamt about him last night 😂
      Great response though, I'll take all of this in mind :) thanks!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I will tell you one thing: if you really like someone, tell them. It is not by playing games that you will raise someone's interest, but by letting them know just how much you mean to them. If he is the right guy and is genuinely interested in you, he will appreciate it more if you are open with him.

    Besides, if it turns into something more serious, what kind of pace do you want to set for this relationship?

    If you start with honesty and straightforwardness, it will make it easier between you both. You will acquire the habit of being like that with each other for the rest of the relationship.

    And really, it takes so much grief out of it.

    So many feelings can be hurt or misunderstandings can arise from not being open with each other.

    Maybe I am exagerating here, but I know that I have benneficiated from always trying to be open with my boyfriend and communicate about something that was bothering me.

    It deepens and strenghtens the relationship, creates intimacy and is a fuel for love and romance as well.

    It is a bond you will be able to relish and enjoy from

    Feels great to have that level of trust and intimacy with someone.

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What Guys Said 12

  • 1. 'Holding back to maintain his interest' is akin to playing around :)
    2. Having said that, it's also nature's way of 'mystery retains interest' idea
    3. Being an open book doesn't mean being stupid ;)
    4. There are things that are private in nature and can't be shared with anyone
    5. Just be judicious about what you state and how you state it
    6. Be too open and you better have the strength to bear the hurt cause he's human and may get judgmental from time to time even if not often
    7. Again don't send mixed signals which is wrong
    8. Be clear about what you want from him and convey it to him
    9. I'll vote 'B' though :)

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  • Especially if you're exclusive or in a relationship by now, the correct choice is of course B. You're off the market and things are solidified, so you can now luxuriously open up to him.

    If that's NOT the case and you're still "just dating", then I would pick "A", however, you can't really voluntarily "hold back". What you need to do so that you naturally aren't too clingy or needy or emotionally invested during this "dating phase" is avoid scarcity. And I wrote a myTake what I mean by that and the reasons you should avoid it: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22231-scarcity-fundamental-setback-in-dating

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  • D:

    computergraphicsclass.wikispaces.com/.../...t_.gif

    Lmao in all seriousness though, don't hold back. :) But don't rush into anything too soon either, after all you've only been talking for a month.

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    • But pretty much 24/7 lol. I just want to tell him how much I like him and want him lol but I don't want to sound desperate or whatever haha

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    • Aw thank you lol but I'm the lucky one, he is such a kind sweet person

    • That's awesome, I'm glad he is :)

  • Its better to not overthink. He's obviously into you judging by what you're saying and you really shouldn't send him mixed signals because you might make him unsure in his decision to date you.

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  • Based on your story Alex, B all the way!
    You know what's important? You people seem not to be falling for each others' beautiful eyes, but for each other's character and personality :D
    So I think it's time to give each other that long, warm hug and make it more serious. It's obvious there's not just a spark! Your hearts are on fire <3 <3

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  • No, you need to open up to this guy if your feelings are real and genuine for the guy
    but if you seriously doubt anything than hold back how you feel until you know for sure things are right.

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  • I wouldn't send what could be perceived as mixed signals, don't over analyze or overthink anything, you like him and he likes you, just steadily take things one step at a time and see were it goes.

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  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X_2IdybTV0
    Duhhh dunn nuu duuuhhh YES!

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    • Don't over think it... if you force yourself you are acting crazy and basically allowing the views of someone else dictate your actions.

  • Yes hold back you never wanna make yourself the vulnerable one if you open up your feelings to him now he would have power over you

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    • I'd hate for that to happen lol

    • Just because you feel all goofy and warm inside doesn't mean you should say I love you just remember that. Any time you get that feeling just think about something else in your mind.

  • Don't hold back just go with it and enjoy!

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  • hold back what? sex?

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    • No lol on telling him my feelings

    • If he has already opened up to you about his feeling, there is no problem telling him about your feelings; it would be wrong to not tell him, that would be leading him on... Your a beautiful girl, be confident and honest...

  • I've noticed you over think a lot lol.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I do not see where you are doing anything in Holding back here, @LovesTVDx, and it appears that you have been as 'Really open with how much I like him,' and Anything More in store would Be... Over kill.
    Don't over think anything here, dear. So far I am seeing a nice couple who care about each other, have amazing chemistry and many times if one or the other chase an with this pace, it gets Old real Quick.
    Keep him coming by even being this juicy apple at the top of three, hardest to get and to grab.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I don't see the need to hold back on what you're feeling. Most guys I know don't like mind games and prefer when women are more direct and straightforward about what they're thinking. So if you like him, tell him that! I highly doubt expressing your feelings will suddenly make him lose interest. It sounds like he's really into you and a sweet guy so I think you should just be honest and tell him how you feel :)

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  • Go with the flow. Express whatever feels right to you at the time, with what you're comfortable with.

    I doubt he'll be bailing out and losing interest as he's too deep into it trying to win you over.. Jee, has already told his family about you too. That is a major plus.

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    • But then again, I just read that it has only been a month... it sort of makes me question what his intentions are. He sounds so full on. If it was me, it would be too early to get serious. It would still be in the keeping it light and fun stage. So yes, now that I've read the question fully I would say express what's comfortable to how you feel... but be wary of him at the same time coz I don't know, he sounds too intense for 1 month.

    • He's just a hopeless romantic like me I think :p

  • Be open, be honest, be yourself.

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