I recently went out on a date with a girl I'd known for a over a year. We flirted a lot during our friendship, so I eventually asked her out and she said yes. I really liked this girl, so I wanted to make a strong impression on her. I wanted to take her somewhere nice on our first date. I have some money, so I decided to take her to Smith & Wollensky, an upscale steakhouse. I also rented a nice car for the evening (a BMW), which I thought would be nicer than my truck. Things went fine on the date, but we've hardly spoken since the date.
A week ago she posted something on her FB page about guys trying too hard. I got the feeling that it was directed at me, so I contacted a mutual friend of ours. After some prying, she finally told me that this girl had been put off by the whole evening because she thought it seemed "fake." I couldn't believe it. It's like you try to take a girl out for a nice evening as (as opposed to inviting her over for a movie and cheap sex), and it's a knock against the guy. It seems like every time I've tried to make any sort of romantic gesture to a girl, it's been met with a sort of mocking derision, like only pathetic losers make romantic gestures. Do girls nowadays just think that romantic gestures are lame?
Most Helpful Girl
I don't think romantic gestures are mock-worthy or unappealing, but you have to keep in mind that not every woman identifies romance with MONEY SPENT.
To me, romance is the moment, it's the way someone treats you. It's not their willingness to throw money around on expensive dinners and cars. I personally feel a little uncomfortable going to a super expensive place on a first date because A: I'm a simple girl and B: I don't feel men are obligated to spend money on me and feel bad when they do so unnecessarily. I don't need money to be won over. She likely thought you were trying too hard because you wouldn't even bring your own car to the date, that is trying really hard.
Don't get me wrong, what you did was sweet. But don't equate romance to money and extravagance; personally, I would find a walk in the park, talking one on one genuinely far more romantic than a steak and a BMW.0
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