Would you ever get back together with someone who tried to change you when you two were dating?

If someone tried to change you into becoming someone you're not or "fix you" is that an ultimate deal breaker?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd be weary. It would depend very much on the situation.

    If she was just positively subtly encouraging me to become a better person, sure I would.

    But if it was her judging me and criticizing me and acting like a bitch about it, etc, then no, not at all.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Anyone who has a controlling personality needs to be avoided. Everyone has the right to express who they are and not feel as if they are and will only be accepted if they accept change, which can often be forced upon them, x

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  • Nah, but it's annoying as hell.

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  • No i wouldn't do so whatever choice one makes is their choice i gave it go and it failed so i move on with life.

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  • It depends on what needs changing. Maybe it was for the better of the one who you are trying to help change. If so then it's good, I would want my girlfriend to try to help me to change if I had a problem that would be very beneficial for me/us. If it was something that was not benifical for me and she wanted me to then no, or most likely no.

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  • Not the ultimate deal breaker but super annoying none the less. I'm not a go back kind of guy; when the relationship is over it's over for good. Sure we can be occasional friends, chat every now and then, but the whole romantic aspect is gone.

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  • i would give them a chance but tell them how i feel about it and explain that you are how you are and its your choice if you ever want to change

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  • perhaps you do need changing. like say, for example: a single guy, with very few friends, and who plays video games and on the computer all day... how long you think he'll be happy living hat way?

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  • Fuck no if you got with me and didn't love everything about me don't get into a relationship with me and try to change me into something i am not

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  • Usually not. You usually can't change a person just because you want them to.

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  • Everyone around me tried changing me into something I'm not. Ultimately, I got pissed and now I just play League of Legends all day. I don't think it would be wise to get back together with someone who doesn't appreciate you the way you are.

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  • if its one of the reasons for break up, he would not want to get back with you

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  • Actually that usually leads to a relationship the lasts for some time.

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  • Why would you wanna be with someone who doesn't accept you for you? So in other words no

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  • My last girlfriend was way into drugs. She wanted me to try drugs. I said no. I broke up with her. Would I get back together with her? Hahaha... NO!

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  • I would say yes

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  • No, when you date, you should be liked for who you are, not who they want you to be

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What Girls Said 14

  • I wouldn't say it's an ultimate deal breaker but I wouldn't appreciate it. If someone can't accept me for the way I am then I would wonder why they wanted to be with me in the first place. Similarly, I would never try to "change" a guy I'm dating. If I'm with someone, it's because I like them, get along with them, and we have things in common. I wouldn't go into a relationship with the mindset of, "this person is broken and I must fix them." So, as for your original question, no, I probably wouldn't get back together with them if they treated me as some "broken thing" that needs changing.

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  • Not at all.
    In most cases, their only intention is to help. If it feels wrong, he is unable to persuade me even a little, or we simply aren't on the same page, I'd ask my SO to give me some space and time to think about it. I may even ask a few friends about their opinions to see if I really need change or not. You should not be forced to do anything, especially if you feel uncomfortable about it. And if your SO cannot sense that you are uncomfortable, or does sense it but does not seem to care, you need to stand up for yourself.

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  • Did they try to change you for the better or worse? And I mean were you on crack and they were trying to get you to stop or they wanted to mold you into their ideal person?

    ... I would tentatively get back with the former because I don't really like people trying to "change" me though I'm not on crack or any drug... lol. Fuck no to the latter.

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  • I would. I believe we should change for the better when it comes to the ones that we love.

    My most recent ex was in a habit of swearing all the time, constantly moaning, speaking of unsavoury things... all the time. And that's to name a few things.

    As time went on. We sorted and worked through some of these issues and I could see a HUGE change in him, which I really liked.

    However that all backfired in the end and we split up (which I provoked).

    But I do stand true to what I said: we should be willing to change for the ones we love, especially if it is for the better.

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  • no, you need to know your partner loves you for who you are and if they try to change you then how can you ever feel comfortable around them... you would just sit there thinking 'am i doing something wrong' or 'is he having second thoughts'. My ex was like that, always tryna change me and i wouldn't get back with him.

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  • That's just a no no and trying to change someone into something they're not and trying to help you improve honestly. those are 2 different things. You should always be able to be yourself and if someone is trying to make you change who you are then that's not good. They don't accept you for who you are

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  • I always remind myself there WAS A REASON why we're not together any more. So no, I never would.

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  • No. I am who I am. Date me for me or don't date me at all

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  • I wouldn't. If a person dates you, this person should be accepting you for who you are, not want to "fix" you. Some people may try to, but it never usually works, especially if the person doesn't want to be fixed in the first place.

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  • Avoid. If somebody loves you, they accept you for who you truly are, not the sugarcoated version or "half" of you, ALL of you. Even the good bits and the bad bits.

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  • NO - red flag. He doesn't want you, he wants what he thinks he can change you into.

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  • Why would you?

    He/She should respect/fall in love for who you are.
    and not what you should become._.

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  • If we broke up then it was for a reason so no

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  • Total deal breaker for me.

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