Why do most relationships not work out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Differences/compatibility and expectations which can cause poor communication and thus causes a divide in the relationship.

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    • Very true you can get over a lot of differences with communication. My ex was so afraid of a fight he would never tell me even the simplest of things. They would come out later and I'd be like babe just tell me that wouldn't have bothered me a bit of you did. I felt like he wasn't even giving me a fighting chance. How can I fix something if I don't know it is a problem.

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    • Agreed. It is t fair to you, especially if you have shown her through your actions you are not that way. We all have our insecurities and have been hurt so sure every once in a while I get a twinge of thinking something that is completely unjustified. But I catch it and remind myself my boyfriend isn't prone to lying and I have to trust what he is telling me. He doesn't give me thre same benefit. It's like everything I do and say indicates I worship him but he doesn't believe it. He always thought I was out to get him so finally I had to go.

    • Good on you, I am starting to feel that way myself. I just don't like I get anything out of this relationship anymore.

Most Helpful Girl

  • The people involved simply aren't compatible. Just as with friends, we are constantly searching for that right fit, people we can tolerate, that love us, that can take care of us and protect us. If someone is unable or unwilling to do the task, its not meant to be.

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What Guys Said 8

  • The number one reason - expectations!

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  • People have relationships for the wrong reasons, e. g hoping that person will make them happy, give them something that they can't do themselves. I see a lot people hoping love will make them happy, love does not make you happy, any-more than having than driving a nice car. Lets put this you think that driving a fancy limo, will only you happy for the first 6-12months, then after than you get bored of it, and look for something better, and you will hope find that happy feeling again.

    People come out with wrong expectations of relationships. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend will not make you happy. You should be happy single first, and not need anyone.

    Love is about sharing and doing things do together, than do it alone.

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    • If the only thing keeping you from being happy is loneliness then I would argue it can. If you love your job, have hobbies and friends but are lonely that is the last piece of the puzzle. As you get older people start coupling off and your friends have less time. If you were 100% happy without a relationship you would never enter one.

      I'm happy alone but part of my 5 year pla. Is to have someone to come home to.

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    • QA if you look at psychology, you do not need anyone to make you happy. The reason you need a partner to sleep next to you, because there is something in your own ego, that you need fill? There is a void in your in life that you are not facing up to? its Likes a crutch. Its likes smoking, people can't give up the cigarettes because of the habit, they need it to help them to get through the daily stresses of life. Instead of facing up to, what are you not dealing with inside yourself.

    • I said like not need. One person can't be your entire source of happiness but if you aren't happier around then than you are alone then you are with the wrong person.

  • I quote Bruce Lee here: "Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."

    The problem is that when habits come to play a lot of people stop nurturing their relationship and thus it falls apart. The initial fire alone can't keep up a relationship in the long run.

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  • Most people aren't willing to work on their problems and make changes.

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  • It's all about expectations. People are selfish to a fault and they're short on forgiveness.

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    • Agreed but when you love someone selfishness goes out the door. I guess love is just rare.

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    • I whole heartedly agree. But I've seen it and know it and I know it enough to know not all people are capable of it.

      You're young so at your age it is far more rare. But once you are older with a good career and life somewhat figured out most people figure out love. If you are wanting to build a family with someone you can't be selfish. You can't be selfish with your kids and you can't build a house with a partner and expect it to last if you don't put them in front of yourself sometimes. When you are truly in love with someone their smile means everything to you. So in that way it isn't completely selfless. You do what makes them smile because it makes you smile and same fore them. You do things for each other. I guess I need to start asking men on the first three dates if they have been in love because, yeah, it's a waste of time being with someone that doesn't understand that at my age but some men don't. Hey have a closed heart.

    • You have some profound and beautiful thoughts here. I hope everyone (and especially guys) takes time to read them.

  • cos people get sick of each other and feelings change...

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  • Because our circumstances are constantly changing.

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  • Let's be real here, love truly doesn't last "forever"

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    • That's true in many cases but not all cases. I'm sorry you've never know. Older couples who die together more in love than the day they married.

    • Never known

What Girls Said 2

  • Because they blame each other unfairly.

    Blaming someone constantly and without reason is emotional abuse, and often the person being blamed starts to believe they are in the wrong, making them feel guilty and upset for not thinking themselves ''good enough.''

    It is important (and emotionally mature) to take responsibility for our own actions, and to treat the person you are in a relationship with respectfully.

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  • Time and willingness to compromise. I would say lots of relationships nowadays are not built on a strong foundation, there could be too much doubts (due to social media), and yes, expectations. Sometimes there are some things in which we doubt and are unwilling to question, and even when we question, we continue to doubt etc. Fast paced society leads to most relationships not working out. It requires lots of time and efforts, as well as understanding what your SO needs.

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