Guys, what does it mean when ur boyfriend says we are dating but not ready for marriage?

My boyfriend and have been dating for 10 months now.. He says he is not ready for marriage right now because... He wants to accomplish his goals in life... He said he does not see himself marrying me.. Because of the above.. Is this good or bad.. Im confused.. Would he be looking for someone else? .. He said how girls think he is a player.. Why care about what they think when he is with me.. We talk about our kids names.. Pets.. Etc.. So why do all this.. And spend time with me if he says im not his marrying type.. Is it because he is not ready for marriage? ..


0|0
20

Most Helpful Guy

  • What if you are not the one he wants to be with? He may love you enough to spend time with you, but not enough to marry you. Maybe he loves you but is still not sure you are the one. You've only been together for 10 months. Maybe he just doesn't feel ready.

    1|0
    0|0
    • So u are saying he is looking for someone... I thought he is not ready for marrriage now bc he's not financially stable.. He has debt.. But then y call me his girl.. Though i have met only 3 of his guy friends... N not rest of his gang...

    • Show All
    • Wrlll i m meeting him tmrw to talk about it... Any suggestions... How to start... What to say? ... I dunno.. Its like he wants me to go with the flow and see how things are... Even going to ten months.. Like in texting there is no flow of the conversation on his part i feel.. I feel like he does not realize what he has.. I dont want to push him away but.. I get the feeling he us seeing someone else... When i asked him how come he can't meet up.. Says he's got plans.. Why not b specific... I got plans with the guys.. Or b upfront if u dont like how things are going.. Communication is success key to any healthy relationship.. He won't call me n if i say anything then he avoids it.. Ex.. Instagram issue. ..

    • Like I said, he is already done with you. I believe it is beyond repair. He has driven a wedge between you two and is keeping you around in case he needs sex. I don't see anything else you could say to him but good bye and maybe explain to him why you are leaving.

What Guys Said 19

  • Girls and guys are a bit different in this.

    Guys will feel ready for marriage when they
    *-have their degree
    *- have found a stable job, earning enough money
    *-have gatherred some savings (enough to pay a rent deposit, furniture and to face a possible lay off in the company)

    Girls will feel ready for marriage when they want a baby and a little home.
    (I met my wife in 1967, we married in 1971, got a child in 1977)

    2|4
    1|0
    • I understand that but i want him to make the big gesture...

    • Show All
    • if he is using tinder AND in a relatio ship with you, that is an obvious red flag. just "liking" photos? i don't fucking do that. I use tinder to get hookups. he is playing you.

    • But he showed me no matches or msgs... So then whats he doing?

  • First of all: you'very been dating for 10 months and you're ALREADY talking about marrige? Slow down a bit. Second: it's his choice whether you understand or not. I don't mean to sound harsh here, but I'm just being bluntly honest. I went through a similar situation, but I'm younger so marriage wasn't in the problem. I have huge plans for a military career, and the military life doesn't exactly make room for relationships. This and some other problems cause me to break up with my ex who I dated for 2 years. You may love eachother, but when a relationship gets in the way of someone's goals in life, it causes serious problems.

    1|2
    0|0
    • I understand that and that makes sense.. But i want him to make the big gesture that he likes me... I salute u for being in the military.. And wish u the best... 1

    • Thank you, and if it is really bothering you, and if he still hasn't decided after whike you should tell him that either he makes up his mind, or you're leaving. Good luck with whatever you choose!

    • I know and. Its just a closure that i want from him that shows... I want to b with u forever..

  • Think he means it too early in the relationship to think about marriage and he does not feel like he is financially established.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thats exactly what he is saying... I know i have to b patient but 5 years ill b 34 ..

  • It means that he feels by the time he will be ready in life, who knows if your relationship with him will even make it that far

    Plus if he directly said he does not see himself marrying you, then it means he's already made the choice to move on at some point in time with another girl

    But of course it could all change in the future

    0|1
    0|0
    • Could it mean that by saying i dont see myself marrying u.. It means he is not sure if our relationship will last the five years bc now he's not ready or thinking of marriage

    • Show All
    • Honestly no one can know if he is playing you or not

      Taking some time apart is the best solution... not really a officially break just do you for a while and let him do him... then see how much you guys miss each other

      You know?

    • Wrlll i m meeting him tmrw to talk about it... Any suggestions... How to start... What to say? ... I dunno.. Its like he wants me to go with the flow and see how things are... Even going to ten months.. Like in texting there is no flow of the conversation on his part i feel.. I feel like he does not realize what he has.. I dont want to push him away but.. I get the feeling he us seeing someone else... When i asked him how come he can't meet up.. Says he's got plans.. Why not b specific... I got plans with the guys.. Or b upfront if u dont like how things are going.. Communication is success key to any healthy relationship.. He won't call me n if i say anything then he avoids it.. Ex.. Instagram issue. ..

  • He probably loves you but if he says he doesn't see himself marrying you and you want to get married then he doesn't want you in the long wrong. thats a big red flag. dnt be to quick into marrying give him time. but if he's sure he doesn't want to marry but you do then thats a no no.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I think he meant not seeing himself marrrying me bc he is not ready for marriage now... Bc he wants to accomplish his goals...

    • If his goals are more important than you then maybe be patient until he accomplishes them or reconsider being with him. what will make you happier? Think bout it

    • Im in love with him n thats the problem.. I dont think he's there yet.. He even removed me off his social media... bc of our fight.. In the past i did remive him too.. But i can see him liking pics of our mutual friends.. Says he is deleting the app... But i doubt it.. Bc he goes on it everyday.. Its like whenever he's bored he goes on it.. I dont need to u bc we text.. To me it seems like he is hiding something...

  • If he says you are not his marrying type, BELIEVE HIM. If you want to be married, then you are wasting time with him. Stop seeing him so you can meet a guy who thinks you are his marrying type.

    0|1
    0|0
    • True... But at times he will tell me how two girls thought he is a player.. Why care what they think.. Or was he just boosting his ego? He has tinder to like girls pics.. So he says... And he even removed me off social media bc we had an argument.. But won't add me back bc he says he is deleting it.. So why not add me till he deletes it.. All of this makes me question him.. Does he really like me or is he playing a game.. Wen we fight.. He says if u want to leave.. Then go ahead.. Y such a thing.. Wen tuff becomes tuff got to stay strong... He sometimes calls it a relationship.. Then at times its not serious.. But calls me his girl.. Has not even gone down town says its not comfy. All i got for my bday is a movie n nachos...

  • He doesn't want to worry about marriage right now cause he wants to be free and you are early in your relationship.

    0|1
    0|0
    • When will i know for sure in the relationship he just wants me

    • Show All
    • Ur cute

    • And you are a really cool person

  • It's strange if he brought it up out of the blue. It isn't strange to not be ready for marriage after only 10 months.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Im just wondering if he's looking for someone else

    • Show All
    • I think dinner is fine.

      I'm ambivalent on checking the phone, even if you feel sure you'll find something. If you don't find something, you'll have breached his privacy for nothing. It's possible he's hiding something on the phone, but he may just have something embarrassing/personal on it, too.

    • I know.. I spoke to him about it.. He got mad... He said life does not revolve on social media n he said instead of spending 20 mins talking about shitty stuff... He said our communication is way better than now.. N he said he has a pholiopshy.. Wen he remives someone he ain't gonna add them back.. Then he finally added me on fb.. I dont xare about fbuk but instagram i wanted which he didn't add me... N so. I got mad... about that... i dont care about fbuk i was more interested about instagram... Bc he's adding random girls. There... I dunno.. I dont want to bring it up again.. We ended up chilling for a bit.. He said he removed me bc... He was upset at me at the fact... I... Told him wen we fought n i left my sweater in his car to. Mail. It.. I said it only bc i was angry... I dudnt mean it... But he said he was pissed at that... But yeah things r ok but he ain't adding on ig... Sigh... Dunno... what to do...

  • Why spend time with you? Most likely because your the only woman in his life... at the moment. Try not to get emotionally involved any further or find someone else if he already doesn't see a future with you and wants to brag about how others think he's a player.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Wrlll i m meeting him tmrw to talk about it... Any suggestions... How to start... What to say? ... I dunno.. Its like he wants me to go with the flow and see how things are... Even going to ten months.. Like in texting there is no flow of the conversation on his part i feel.. I feel like he does not realize what he has.. I dont want to push him away but.. I get the feeling he us seeing someone else... When i asked him how come he can't meet up.. Says he's got plans.. Why not b specific... I got plans with the guys.. Or b upfront if u dont like how things are going.. Communication is success key to any healthy relationship.. He won't call me n if i say anything then he avoids it.. Ex.. Instagram issue. ..

  • Oh yeah, he is not ready. Just, it's not because of the reason he told you. He doesn't want to marry YOU specifically.

    0|0
    0|0
  • all the girls he's with think he's a player? uhhh yeah... maybe he's not religious... maybe he's got his head on straight and realizes that its more of a friendship thing rather than ownership thing... or maybe he's a player...

    0|0
    0|0
  • That you're not hot enough.

    0|1
    1|0
    • I thought its more of a homely gurl with a great personality.. No im not hot to him bc i have no assets.. N i have a slight belly...

    • Show All
    • I get that... Men r visual creatures...

    • True... But at times he will tell me how two girls thought he is a player.. Why care what they think.. Or was he just boosting his ego? He has tinder to like girls pics.. So he says... And he even removed me off social media bc we had an argument.. But won't add me back bc he says he is deleting it.. So why not add me till he deletes it.. All of this makes me question him.. Does he really like me or is he playing a game.. Wen we fight.. He says if u want to leave.. Then go ahead.. Y such a thing.. Wen tuff becomes tuff got to stay strong... He sometimes calls it a relationship.. Then at times its not serious.. But calls me his girl.. Has not even gone down town says its not comfy. All i got for my bday is a movie n nachos...

  • It means he doesn't want to rush. Jesus Christ...

    0|1
    0|0
    • Sure i can wait... But i need my big gesture..

    • "Big gesture" meaning?

      He's going to run for the hills.

    • True... But at times he will tell me how two girls thought he is a player.. Why care what they think.. Or was he just boosting his ego? He has tinder to like girls pics.. So he says... And he even removed me off social media bc we had an argument.. But won't add me back bc he says he is deleting it.. So why not add me till he deletes it.. All of this makes me question him.. Does he really like me or is he playing a game.. Wen we fight.. He says if u want to leave.. Then go ahead.. Y such a thing.. Wen tuff becomes tuff got to stay strong... He sometimes calls it a relationship.. Then at times its not serious.. But calls me his girl.. Has not even gone down town says its not comfy. All i got for my bday is a movie n nachos...

  • He just knows that women tend to be dream-killers. He's putting his dreams ahead of women.

    0|1
    0|1
    • Yeah thats good... Byt... Would he marry me.. Because he is not thinking or ready for marriage.. Says we are just dating n go with the flow...

    • Show All
    • I'd have the "exclusive" talk, were I you.

    • True... But at times he will tell me how two girls thought he is a player.. Why care what they think.. Or was he just boosting his ego? He has tinder to like girls pics.. So he says... And he even removed me off social media bc we had an argument.. But won't add me back bc he says he is deleting it.. So why not add me till he deletes it.. All of this makes me question him.. Does he really like me or is he playing a game.. Wen we fight.. He says if u want to leave.. Then go ahead.. Y such a thing.. Wen tuff becomes tuff got to stay strong... He sometimes calls it a relationship.. Then at times its not serious.. But calls me his girl.. Has not even gone down town says its not comfy. All i got for my bday is a movie n nachos...

  • Guys mean exactly what they say. He just needs more time to figure things out. Guys also see marriage differently you know :/ Also ten months aren't enough either I have to say.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I know.. I spoke to him about it.. He got mad... He said life does not revolve on social media n he said instead of spending 20 mins talking about shitty stuff... He said our communication is way better than now.. N he said he has a pholiopshy.. Wen he remives someone he ain't gonna add them back.. Then he finally added me on fb.. I dont xare about fbuk but instagram i wanted which he didn't add me... N so. I got mad... about that... i dont care about fbuk i was more interested about instagram... Bc he's adding random girls. There... I dunno.. I dont want to bring it up again.. We ended up chilling for a bit.. He said he removed me bc... He was upset at me at the fact... I... Told him wen we fought n i left my sweater in his car to. Mail. It.. I said it only bc i was angry... I dudnt mean it... But he said he was pissed at that... But yeah things r ok but he ain't adding on ig... Sigh... Dunno... what to do...

  • he's just not ready. Marriage can ruin a man's life.

    0|0
    0|0
    • True... But at times he will tell me how two girls thought he is a player.. Why care what they think.. Or was he just boosting his ego? He has tinder to like girls pics.. So he says... And he even removed me off social media bc we had an argument.. But won't add me back bc he says he is deleting it.. So why not add me till he deletes it.. All of this makes me question him.. Does he really like me or is he playing a game.. Wen we fight.. He says if u want to leave.. Then go ahead.. Y such a thing.. Wen tuff becomes tuff got to stay strong... He sometimes calls it a relationship.. Then at times its not serious.. But calls me his girl.. Has not even gone down town says its not comfy. All i got for my bday is a movie n nachos...

    • sounds like he is playing around.

    • I thought so. what shud i do. .

  • it's bad. it means you're temporary or he's just wanting o string you along.

    0|0
    0|0
    • ould it mean that by saying i dont see myself marrying u.. It means he is not sure if our relationship will last the five years bc now he's not ready or thinking of marriage

    • Show All
    • i think there's something else going on.

    • It sounds like it too... Why add me on fb n not instagram... He says he is not hiding anything but he's still angry about our fight

  • Give him time and space

    0|0
    0|0
    • For how long...

    • Show All
    • I don't know cause you are acting childish too. 10 months, just 10 fuckin months and it's sounding like it won't even go any longer and your title is like "wow why are we not married, we are like perfect together"

    • i. ytimg. com/vi/fWkxvIaKsFU/hqdefault. jpg

  • Marriage is a very serious decision; if you have only been dating for 10 months, it's not time for that yet. So on that point, I agree with your boyfriend.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Ok thanks but by him saying he does not see himself marrying me... Could it mean its because he's not ready or fishing around

    • Probably not fishing around, but it might be worth a conversation to see if he's open to get married in the future, or if he doesn't ever want to get married.

    • True... But at times he will tell me how two girls thought he is a player.. Why care what they think.. Or was he just boosting his ego? He has tinder to like girls pics.. So he says... And he even removed me off social media bc we had an argument.. But won't add me back bc he says he is deleting it.. So why not add me till he deletes it.. All of this makes me question him.. Does he really like me or is he playing a game.. Wen we fight.. He says if u want to leave.. Then go ahead.. Y such a thing.. Wen tuff becomes tuff got to stay strong... He sometimes calls it a relationship.. Then at times its not serious.. But calls me his girl.. Has not even gone down town says its not comfy. All i got for my bday is a movie n nachos...

Loading...