First, I want to address the fact that everybody say's "if she was broke and or jobless, that would be understandable". If she was broke and jobless, she shouldn't have offer to take you to dinner. There's a ton of things she could have done for you, if she was having financial troubles. She could have made you a card, made you a gift, baked you a cake, cooked you a dinner or thrown you a party. So, I'm not going to be jumping on the broke and jobless band wagon because I've been both for many years and always found ways to make birthdays special for the people I care for. So, I'm not buying that.
Now, on to your question. Yes, she should have paid. What's the point of taking someone out for their birthday, if they have to pay for it themselves? I'm not much of revenge person or out of spite person. However I say when her birthday rolls around, you offer to take her for a $60 dollar meal and when the check comes you can say "you can pay for your birthday dinner, like I paid for mine. Happy Birthday babe". Just a thought.
My partner does the same, the funniest thing is she doesn't ask me out for my birthday so I end up asking her out on my own birthday. She makes no effort to arrange or pay for anything. My last birthday was not as great as it could have been because I ended up spending about £60 and it really limited the day as I was conscious about doing more things because I knew I would be fitting the bill. Even the suggestion of paying half would be acceptable but not even making an effort is heart breaking. I earn $15,000 and I make an effort, even making a card etc which costs very little means a lot. Earning $200,000 and doing nothing is criminal, it is made even worse because he earns such a large amount.
That's stupid, if that's the case then she just used you and your birthday as a way for her to go out and have a good time. A present isn't funded by the gift recipient it's by the person giving. If I want to do something special for my boyfriend's birthday I'm paying for whatever we do. So if it's just gifts or going to a restaurant or something in the like then of course I'm paying. You don't invite someone somewhere and they have to pay for it, that's just using people. My boyfriend doesn't like me spending money on him, but if it's a present of course I'm paying for his gift, anything other than that makes no sense.
I think if you are worried about always paying you need to sit down and talk with her. I agree that it's not solely up to the guy to pay for every date. But it can be hard to navigate the modern dating world on topics such as this.
I've dated guys who never wanted me to pay. Even when I would try, they would get upset. So I ended up letting them pay. So when I started dating my current boyfriend, he was paying for the dates in the beginning. However, I started to offer.
Maybe this girl is just unsure it bother's you. I would definitely her know. Just bring it up casually. Like "Hey, I think that now that we are established, we should start both paying for dates". Make a plan, maybe you pay every other date. Maybe she pays for dinner, you pay for desert then switch? Find something that works for both of you.
It's kind of unusual that you paid for your own birthday, but a lot depends on how long you've been together.
Relationships are not about splitting everything equally in terms of finances, but each contributing where you can. Do you make more than she does? It would make sense then for the higher earner to pay more often.
If you don't like always paying, perhaps you should first ask yourself why you don't like it; I mean, in relationships, most people think "Your money is my money/my money is your money"... it's all "our" money. But that depends on how serious of a relationship you are in. You certainly don't want to be spending lots of money on someone you aren't serious about because if you break up with them, you're also out of a lot of money. On the other hand, if you ARE serious, then your feelings should be about which financial decisions benefit the relationship and which ones hurt it.
This might be a good time to sit down with each other and discuss a budget; talk about where you feel comfortable spending, and what you don't feel comfortable spending money on. Decide how much you'll save together as a couple that will go towards couple things. Decide who is responsible to pay for what.. and when you'll take turns.
If you approach it as if you are trying to be responsible with your finances, then she will understand and hopefully be on board.
My fiancé tends to pay for most things at the moment because he makes more money than I do... but there is a chance that after I finish up my certification, I'll end up making more than him and have no problem contributing more financially. I still would never have him pay for his own birthday though; that's kind of weird. If you care about someone, you usually set money aside and save for them and make it a priority.
(Puts on glasses) ahem, the rules of Etiquette state that if a person invites another person or persons out to dine, the person asking should assume the financial responsibility for the meal. To put it another way, if someone were to say offer to wash your car, you wouldn't expect them to show up to do it and hand you the bucket and soap at your door. Unrelated, but related side bar: if you've perhaps set up your relationship to dining out, in such a way that you've made it clear to your girlfriend that the man should pay, then she may now be completely accustomed to that being the way it is and maybe not thought twice about who would pay even if she had asked you out. If you resent this, or resent paying all the time in general, you need to talk about it and clear some things up. Happy Belated Birthday by the way!
I think that she should have paid for that. If someone takes you out for your birthday, they should pay. It's not even about gender. I have had friends take me out for my bday and they all split the bill at each place that we went to. I have done the same for other friends. In a relationship, if I am going to do something for him, I would pay for it. That's my gift to him.
If she was having a bad time in the financial department of things, then I'd understand and find it sweet that she still took the time to plan something nice for you, but she still could've gone with something less expensive that is affordable on her behalf. Either way, yeah, it is unfair that you paid but also respectful of you, congratulations!
You should ask her to pay sometimes if she wants equality, and on your birthday come on that's so mean!. If a person wants to be treated like an equal then they should also treat their significant other with the same treatment they expect and can afford to ( like if you were dating a broke girl then it would be a bit understandable). Speak up.
depends. if she in a some sort of bad financial situation and assuming she is trying her best to fix it and get a job if she does not have one and she can't really pay for anything i would understand. but if she does a steady job and does not pay for anything thats red flag.
Wow! i think the last she should have done was paid especially since she was the one that took you out or the least she could have done was paid half or sumn. You need to test because she could be ones of those girls that love money man but as soon as the money gone she gone too
So simply go out for icecream and ask her if she has money to pay and if she reacts in any strange way she ain't the one for you... Does she ask for money occasionally?
Yes I think she should have paid. You do the gentleman way but paying most the time but there's exceptions because this was your birthday and she took you out for it, she should have treated you in my opinion
ofc, but then again it depens on what both of you are comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with it, tell her.. you shouldt do anything you dont want to do just because your girlfriend expects it, in my opinion at least
Did she at least offer to pay? Does she have income of her own? I'd be a bit wary if it was the default setting that she just doesn't pay for anything. She should at least try to offer if she isn't actually a closet sexist person.
Yeah, don't feel bad, one time one of my exes took me out for. my birthday... shopping... for clothes. Paying for my own birthday dinner would have felt like a treat. She claimed it was supposed to be a surprise that we could spend the day doing this and she got mad that I said I wouldn't do it. All I really expect for my birthday is nothing, but I'm not down for being punished with clothes shopping.
if you paid then SHE did not take you out, YOU took you out. so yes, if she was taking you out for your bday, she needs to pay. otherwise WTF? if she doesn't at least try to pay 33%-50% of the time, drop her. I know when I was young I always wanted to pay. but that is not realistic in todays world. I would if I could but I can't.