Would dating a single mother be right for a guy like myself?

Right now, I'm interested in a 21 year old Hispanic woman who's very mature and hard working lady that works 2 jobs and goes to college. The thing is, she has a toddler son. Now I have absolutely nothing against children but I'm a 20 year old guy who only works 19 hours per week at the moment while going to college trying to pay off my own tuition while helping my parents out financially and I don't know if I'm ready for that amount of commitment and responsibility. I don't want her toddler to think I'll be taking mommy away from him.

  • Yes
    22% (4)17% (1)21% (5)Vote
  • No
    78% (14)83% (5)79% (19)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that you can do what you want, but you have to think about the level of commitment that you will be putting in.

    In your question you said that you would be taking "mommy" away... it's not that simple... you would be adding yourself to a family... your not taking "mommy" away your adding yourself in as "daddy" essentially...

    At 20 Years old you should have a woman by your side, and you should be able to go out to the movies, park, or county fair... but you have to realize that there are other factors at play you'll both be working tons of hours, in school, assisting family financially, and caring for a kid... there's no way you'll be able to live a normal life. If she wasn't a single mom (just a scenario..) you'd have a bit more time to spend with her; I know this because I was doing the same thing... I worked 40 hours through out college and helping my family financially... My boyfriend was doing the same.. when the time came for free time with friends or for us alone... it was impossible to pick up where we left off or describe what happened the day before...

    I say do what you think is right, but your young see the world before you commit.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have your pick of any woman you want, and want one with another guy's cuntspawn?

    Honestly, I'd worry about building my own life and career instead of trying to play daddy to a kid you don't actually want (you said yourself you aren't ready for this) just to get at his mother.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'll never understand why a young guy would want to play step daddy when he already has his own shit going on. Not too sound insensitive she may be a sweet girl that you like spending time with and that's cool but just because you date her doesn't mean you have to play step daddy to her kid Why burden yourself like that

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  • As a mom I wouldn't want to have a guy seriously in my life or around my kids that couldn't accept them as their own. He wouldn't be more than a fun guy to hang out with.

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    • In short words, you wouldn't want a guy to feel so pressured and stressed out form trying to do all of this for you and your kids?

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    • I wold never try to break a child's heart. I just so happen to be in a difficult situation with my parents and their money issues right now that I'm trying to figure out.

    • Oh I'm sure you're not. Just realize that you'll be getting involved in two peoples life. There is no her and not her child. Just consider that before you get too close

  • If you think she's worth it, then date her. Though more than likely the relationship won't work out. You're young and have a lot to figure out. Relationships that involve another person's kids tend to be complicated and tiresome.

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  • Fuck that noise.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You're a young guy, with a bright future ahead of him. There is no need why you should mess that up by getting with a single mother; and worry financially about a kid is not even yours. There is thousand of beautiful girls that are your age and hispanic, Asian, white, black etc. that don't have kids.

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  • You don't HAVE to start acting like his father if you don't want to right now. Single mothers usually don't expect guys to take on the role of their kid's father, although they would appreciate it if they did.

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    • I can try to bond with the son but I don't know about showering him with gifts like a father/stepfather would. I certainly would do that (not to the point of spoiling him but just enough to make him fairly happy) but at the same time, I also have to look after myself and my parents first.

    • If this woman is reasonable, she'll understand that and would be fine with you just bonding with her son for now.

    • You need not give that kid a shitload of presents. Man, run like hell away from this. Why
      drive a used car at your age when you don't have to or need to? is peak from experience.
      You don't have to play second best to someone else's kid. Now or ever. Trust me, that kid
      will be a millstone around your neck and you will resent the shit out of him. Be friends, fuck buddies, whatever, but DON'T become her boyfriend. in my opinion it's buying a ticket on the Titanic.

  • Never, ever date a woman with kids. You will always be "Segundo plata un la mesa", which is Spanish for the second plate on the table. Her kid will get in
    the way at some point and I promise you her ex will do everything he can to cock block you. Be friends with her, but nothing more.

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  • Think about the guy that banged her and left her. She couldn't get the most important decision of her life right, choosing the guy to impregnate her. I strongly do not recommend you date a woman with a baby. She can date whoever that baby's father is.

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