Asking college girl on a date: How to get her in the comfortable zone in order to maximize chance of yes?

I am a 22 year old Chinese male. There was a cute Asian (Chinese) girl (age 21) who I met in class. We had a great conversation after class and she was very engaging in the conversation. Today, she messaged me that she have dropped out of that class. I was heartbroken because I was looking forward to develop closer romantic relationship with her. In order to ask her out on a date, I would need to develop our relationship and get a bit more comfortable. I wanted to ask, how can I develop closer relationship with her especially if I am no longer able to see her at a regular basis? How long should I know her before asking her out on a date?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should call her and ask her out before she starts seeing you as a friend.

    • I only know her for only one week though. Today, I asked her out to grab dinner together but she declined. Do you have any dating ideas?

    • Bowling, cinema, park, coffeehouse, amusement park.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You got it backwards. Getting closer will only lessen your chances of her agreeing to go on a date with you. The optimal time to ask for a date is within a week or two of meeting a girl. It depends on the circumstance.

    You Chinese-American right? The culture might be different in China but this is what I recommend:

    Call her. You can make chit chat about stuff before, but after a few minutes, bring up the class. Tell her it's okay, she'll make the class up in the future. Then say, "I'll be sad to not see you in class anymore, but that doesn't have to be goodbye. I think you're cute, and I'd like to take you out on a little date."

    She will of course happily accept your invitation. You know how I know?

    She talks to you after class. She gave you her phone number. She replies to your texts. She picks up the phone when you call her.

    You're golden. Don't fuck this up. Ask her out on a date.

    Hit me up after she says yes so I can give you some dating advice.

    • Both of us are Chinese Canadian. The culture between Chinese Canadian and Chinese American are fairly similar. Are you sure about that I should ask her on a date explicitly? (i. e. mention the word "date" in the sentence).

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    • You already have it. Also, if you have a shyness problem (no offense, I'm introvert too) it's a whole lot easier to fuck up a request for a date in person. I mean, why haven't you already done so? What if she thinks it's creepy that you followed her to her literature class?

      You have her phone number. Use it. Girls don't really give that much extra kudos points to asking for a date in person anyway. The do however give kudos for reading signs and responding to them.

      Remember your original question? How do I get close enough to her?

      Well I'm telling you. You're close enough already. A phone call will be cute. You already got close enough to her to get her phone number. Another guy might ask her to have lunch with her in another class. And maybe she'd say yes because it's kinda casual. But she also might say no, because she doesn't know him well enough to really know if she'd enjoy his company. If they were close wouldn't he have her phone number?

    • Call her. Ask her out. Show her you like her enough to muster up the confidence. And also show her that you're comfortable in your own skin enough that you're not getting super worked up about it.

      I think she'll say yes. I really do.

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