What do YOU consider cheating?

I mean, when do you think your own behaviours have crossed the line?

For me, it is when I dedicate a place in my heart and my thoughts to someone else. It's like lying by omission; I'm not giving my full love to my partner.

  • Emotionally: when I truly desire to be with someone else, I give them my love internally.
    45% (13)30% (7)38% (20)Vote
  • Verbally: when I talk to someone in a way I wouldn't want my partner to know about
    24% (7)26% (6)25% (13)Vote
  • Electronically: when I sext or e-cheat (video sex, images etc)
    17% (5)13% (3)15% (8)Vote
  • Semi-physically: when I touch them 'inappropriately'
    3% (1)17% (4)10% (5)Vote
  • Only fully: if we have sex
    11% (3)14% (3)12% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Caveat: when I make out with a girl but don't have any feelings towards her, I usually chalk it up to a drunken mistake and don't count it as cheating.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're engaging in some kind of communication or activity with someone of the sex you're romantically/sexually attracted to, and deliberately hiding it from your partner or don't want them to know about it, that's cheating in my book. It doesn't need to be defined with specific behaviors.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Cheating is going outside of the boundaries established. For me, it's only when they hide or lie about other partners. From texting to sex.

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    • But what if it just never comes up? Like, you got sexy with a girl on Skype one time, but you didn't bother hiding it and she never asked cause it was unintended and in the past?
      You still did it?
      In this example, your boundaries include not showing your body to anyone in a sexual way

    • If you are breaking te boundaries then it's cheating. I personally wouldn't care if I walked into my girlfriend being sexy in Skype with some dude, I think my personality would make that clear.

What Girls Said 13

  • I could forgive my boyfriend flirting, I would hate him for texting girls, but I wouldn't open his phone, see the texts and be like "you're cheating on me? How could you?"
    I would say "ARE you cheating on me?" Meaning that texting is what leads up to cheating, and cheating means sex or kissing

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  • All of the above are cheating in my book, even the drunken 'mistake' you've provided in your update. Also porn, it's the same video sex the difference is it's prerecorded.

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  • Any behaviour that is intended to gain a sexual encounter, or form a romantic attachment with a person who is not your partner.

    Sexual encounters include any skin-to-skin with genitals or breasts, and any insertion even with condoms, gloves, dental dams, etc. If you can contract an STD if you did this without protection, it's a sexual act. It's not cheating if you SO has given consent for you to see or sleep with other people.

    Romantic attachments include any attempt to fall in love with, or get them to fall in love with you. Exchange of vows of love or promises to be together in the future, or plans to leave current SO for this person.

    Porn and harmless casual flirting, including "smack ass" and breast grabs aren't cheating if you don't intend to get physical, and the person you're flirting with knows this.

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  • i think its all of the above

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  • any romantic or sexual attention that you give someone not in your relationship that is not okay with your partner, or that you would want to hide from your partner.

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  • If it's something you'd rather your partner not find out - it's cheating.

    Would you be happy if your partner used the same logic you did in your update and your comment examples?

    Would you be cool with a girlfriend that sucked face with various guys then "chalked in up as a drunken mistake"?

    Or maybe fucked a few blokes, but " it never comes up"? She could tell you the same baloney about how her heart belongs to you while she takes a few dicks up her ass.

    But it's cool, right? : D

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    • Well, if you couldn't tell, my opinion comment was a clarifying question. I was playing Devils advocate.

    • And maybe you misunderstood the question. I asked you to define how you view you own behaviours, not judge someone else's.

    • I did define it - in my first sentence. The you wasn't directed at you personally, but a general you.

  • When I do something that would break my heart if my partner did it behind my back and I found out.

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  • I'd say pretty much all of the above. Emotional cheating can sometimes feel worse than knowing that they physically cheated. All of it is horrible tho.

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  • All of the above

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  • I don't see porn as cheating but, then again I've never been in a healthy relationship where the guy respects me.
    I don't see it as cheating because he doesn't personally know any of these porn stars.

    I think it's cheating if he's following girls on instagram, talking to other girls and keeping it hidden.

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    • Following girls on Instagram is enough? What if he was following them before he met you, and doesn't want to delete them, even though they're not really friends

    • No I wouldn't like that, because he's still following her day to day activities. It's somewhat personal, whereas porn, he'll never see those girls or follow their day to day activities, ya know?

    • Oh I see your side 100%, and I think the difference of opinion is institutional, in that guys so often are raised to think it's a man's right, even expected, to look and to flirt.
      The male role model in my life would look, and even comment in with regularity, and the strong female role model seemed to accept this as normal. I'm still struggling with my feelings and others that this isn't okay, and the behavior that insists it is my right.
      Maybe if we could all just go back in time and raise ourselves..

  • usually verbally.

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  • Almost all of those. Harmless flirting is fine, I guess. A bit rude but whatever, it happens. But I consider kissing, verbally talking (phone sex), electronically talking (cyber sex), and actual sexual relations cheating. Having fantasies is one thing, acting on them is a betrayal and I wouldn't trust my partner again.

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  • Kissing and beyond is cheating
    So is emotional cheating , such as liking someone else

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What Guys Said 10

  • I think all the things you listed are cheating, you are attempting to create a relationship of a sexual nature (fantasy or otherwise) with another person. Any behavior you wouldn't want them to know about would also be cheating, which is why one should live there life in a manner where they can live with everything they have done and be perfectly comfortable with others finding out about it because they frequently do.

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    • It would be nice, if I could live a life I was entirely proud of
      That is very admirable if you do

    • Being overly analytical and constantly obsessing over the potential consequences of actions can be beneficial, though I as all people have made mistakes (use to have issues as a kid).

  • All could be considered cheating. Verbally is a bit iffy, but I think All of the Above is a good choice.

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  • when you check out lady.

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  • It's when Tom Brady let's balls deflate so he can feel like he's holding bigger balls. That's cheating.

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  • If you are married, all of the above.

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  • Cheating counts as anything your partner do to another person. For instance, kissing, sex, affair, etc, talking to someone in a nonsexual or sexual way. Even when they say they were "drunk" and they did this to someone. In my perspective, even if you're drunk, you still got a conscious mind, well more like impaired but it doesn't make you stupid! If you want it, you want it, if you didn't want it, you could've stopped it. As easy as that.

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    • What do you mean if you're talking to someone in a non sexual way, it's cheating? Please elaborate / clarify

  • Cheating in my opinion involves being intimate (having sexual intercourse) with another person of the opposite sex whilst being in a committed relationship.

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  • None of the above really. I can be in an open relationship, I don't mind that. Cheating is lying to me. I don't give a shit about sleeping around, just keeps my doors open too for if an opportunity arises, but lying I will not abide.

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  • Your update, is still cheating. If you do anything with another person, it's cheating. And despicable.

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  • All of the above.

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