When you go on a date, who pays?

The girl, the guy, or just for themselves?


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What Guys Said 19

  • When I go out on a date, if it's the first 3-5 dates with that person, I pay... BUT I specifically design the date to cost very little money. Trying to impress a girl by spending a bunch of money on her is a BAD idea, especially when you are just getting to know her - either you'll find yourself a gold-digger, or you'll make the girl uncomfortable and often make her feel like you're trying to "obligate" her, which is a turn-off. Besides, if you're creative enough to design a fun, interesting date without spending much money, she's probably going to find you a lot more interesting.

    If things progress beyond that point, then we may start going on more expensive dates, and at that point, I expect her to pay some portion. It may not be half and half (I may pay 2/3 or something), but I don't want her to expect that I'm just going to pay for everything either. By doing it this way, she'll actually appreciate me more.

    If we actually get into a relationship, THEN at that point I will spend more money on her. I may take her on trips/vacations, buy her the occasional jewelry, or whatever. Again, at this point, she'll appreciate it a lot more, and will know that I'm doing it because I WANT to, and not because I'm trying to "buy her."

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  • Well, I'm married. But for whatever it's worth, when I go out on a date, I'm usually the one who pays, even though my wife makes pretty close to what I make. She spends all her money on her hair, nails, make-up, and 6" platform heels for the bedroom.

    Theoretically and hypothetically, however, if my wife were to get hit by a bus tomorrow and I would be back in the dating world...

    I'd pay for the first date, look away from the girl's face as "that moment during the date" comes (but keep a very curious ear out for her reactions and hint into her expectations about men, gender roles, and beliefs about women and paying for things between her and a man).

    On the second date, I would offer to pay, but if she wanted to, I would accept. If she "offered" to pay (i. e., the "fake" reach for her purse), but ultimately "let" me pay, I would keep that fact in the back of my mind... she would lose points, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. If she didn't offer to pay at all, she would lose major points, but I'd still give her one last redeeming chance for the next date.

    On the third date, I would still offer to pay. Again, if she wanted to pay, I would accept. If she "offered" to pay, but ultimately "let" me pay (for now the third time), then she lost major points... I'd have to think about continuing. If she didn't offer to pay at all (for now the third time), that would be our last date.

    Now, that's "assuming" she makes close to what I make.

    If I'm 29-30, and she's 18-21 and just finished school, then obviously it's a different story. But if she's 27-30 as well? And she's not making close to what I make, then WTF is she doing with her life? WTF is she waiting for? Is she incompetent or simply unwilling? Neither one is exactly "attractive," because that likely means she's waiting to find a guy to make up for her lack of competence or motivation to obtain the resources so she can enjoy a certain lifestyle, or so her family can actually be "successful" in life.

    Although, I suppose in some alternative universe, having a "toy" of a girlfriend wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I'd just pay for everything, and when the toy would stop working/performing or started acting up, I'd throw it out and get a new one. If "me paying most/all of the time" is the price I had to pay... then so be it. But if I'm already paying the price and not getting the service, then WTF am I paying for? Is my "time and companionship" LESS valuable? Then why are we dating?

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  • If it's a first date, pays the one that invites, which is always me cause girls never ask. If it's a second date, it's split, cause we've both agreed on going on another date, therefore, there's no reason for me to pay, plus, it's a way to see if the girl is into me, or into my money.

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  • I always offer to pay but I do like a girl who at least offers or even requests to split a check.

    I don't think there is a specific rule though, or at least there shouldn't be about who pays. it's really up to individuals

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  • Unless it's super expensive I think whoever asked should pay. It'd be incredibly rude to expect the other person to pay if you're the one who asked and suggested the place. I personally don't like going dutch because then that says "this isn't a date it's just friends getting food together"

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  • It should be split down the middle but I end up paying her rent all her vacations and all dates and all her food back then

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  • I pay, because I have more money than she does
    she'd have to insist, for me to let her pay.

    But if it's not myself, but two random people with an equal amount of money
    I believe whoever asked the other person out, should be paying.

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  • Whoever was the one who invited the other. If a guy invited a woman he should pay, if she him then she should.

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  • I usually switch it up. I'll offer for most first dates then afterwards I pay some and she pays some. Depends also on who organized the date. I'm more compelled to pay when I am taking her out.

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  • From my experience, it gets split. Not necessarily separate cheques or both of you throwing down equal amounts of cash, but you pay for some things, they pay for some things. Like she paid for the movies, I paid for drinks and food at the bar after.

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  • 50/50 is my norm.

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  • Whoever invites...

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  • Go dutch (split), I don't pay until I actually want to treat them.

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  • We compare what we have and the amount of money we get and the winner gets to pay.

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  • I always pay

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  • I would offer to pay, if the girl wants to pay her way then i won't argue

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  • The guy pays almost all the time

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  • I offer to pay, she always says we can split the bill.

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  • I usally do

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What Girls Said 10

  • My boyfriend and I have always gone 50/50
    He paid on our first dinner date tho, which I thought was super sweet.
    But we treat each other all the time :) if he's broke, I'll pay. If in broke, he pays. It varies lol

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  • In my experience, guys are pretty insistent on paying, and I don't want to argue about it. But I do always offer, I'm willing and prepared, and I never just assume the guy will or should pay. I'm an adult and it's fair for me to pay for things too, haha.

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  • I think that one that invites should pay - if nobody directly did invite the other each one should just pay their own bill.

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  • Normally we would pay for out own meals.

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  • well whoever invites the person on a date should pay

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  • When I'm asked out, I always do 50/50
    If I ask the guy out, I usually pay. I guess I have issues with letting people pay things, lol

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  • I think it should be 50/50.

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  • The first date the guy should but after that the couple should take turns paying :)

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  • the guys have always paid for me.

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  • I pay for myself!

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