I can never find a girl that has the right personality AND is attractive?

It's always one or the other. I have found a bunch of girls that have a similar personality to what I'm looking for, but I do not find them attractive at all. When I find a very beautiful girl she doesn't have the personality that I'm looking for (not that they have a bad personality). What should I do? Wait for the posibillity of a girl that I'm looking for to come around and hope that she's single and interested in me when she does? And please don't spout of the usual bullshit about how personality matters more, because I hate to rain on your parade, but it definitely doesn't make up for a lack of physical attraction. Plus I dated one of these less attractive girls and it didn't end too well due to me not being attracted.

Updates:
Wow... with all of these replies only about a few female ones have been useful or positive at all. Why are you all being so judgmental? If a girl asked this question about guys I can bet you that we wouldn't be bitching this much.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends entirely on where you are looking. If you want to meet a fit tough girl go and check out a kick boxing class, smart girls tend to hang out at universities (not a uni party but around the actual buildings), you have to try and think about where someone with the personality type you're after would go. It's hard, but clubs and bars only provide a really random selection of women so nine times out of ten you won't find someone who clicks.
    Then obviously approach who you are attracted to.
    There are so many people on this planet that statistically finding someone who you get along with personality wise is... well you're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs... that's unfortunately just the way it goes.
    In the meantime though, just continue dating (even if the personality isn't perfect) and have fun getting to know different types of women. Waiting around for the right girl will be boring and frustrating, so either actively seek her out or just date for the fun of it until she comes around.
    Just on behalf of the female population, please don't be a total player and lie to get girls into bed and have fun that way. I'm not saying you are or ever would but disclaimer:)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I'm in a similar situation and I as well have been told to lower my standards.
    Pfft only ugly girls want guys to lower their standards because they aren't getting approached.
    Anyways, I have met a couple of attractive girls with great personalities. The problem is they already had boyfriends. They are very rare and hard to find, and even rarer to find while they are single.

    Keep looking.
    Here's some motivational music.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-WHW-QNswE

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    • Tell me about it. Every time I come across one (I've noticed that there are about 1 for every 800- 1,000 people) they are taken already by some guys that doesn't even match. There has only been two that I've ever met that were single. One friendzoned me and started dating another guy before she moved across the sate, and the other actually liked me but I was an idiot and screwed it up. We didn't see eye to eye on some major beliefs so it wouldn't have worked out anyways.

    • From what I've heard is it's the rule of 5.
      If you like a girl at least 5 other guys will too.
      Yeah I've been friendzoned by a girl that was almost perfect and I missed my chance a lot of times with some girls.

    • She was a unicorn too... smart, funny, nice, hot as hell, and she didn't play games. Plus she was a model. Makes me cringe that I lost my chance with her and she friendzoned me.

What Girls Said 29

  • You gotta go to Naria bro
    Fine and fair hoes be there

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  • I agree with you, although I feel terrible admitting it. Looks are nice.
    However, my boyfriend last year wasn't attractive. Skinny, weird hair, acne, the whole junior in high school look going on. At first, I didn't care. He's nice and he made me laugh until my sides hurt. After a few months, we broke up. I wasn't as comfortable being seen with him. He wasn't handsome enough. I was SUCH a jerk.
    Believe it or not, of course, iI saw him last wek. He's a senior now, and has got a summer tan, muscles, crew cut, the whole nine yards. And still the amazing personality.
    Of course I regret it. I kinda wish we could give ourselves blinders, you know? Then we would only look for the inside qualities.
    The reason you haven't found anyone is because you simply haven't. People have differing concepts of beautiful, too, so what you might think is gorgeous, someone is gonna think NAH. In conclusion, the person thats right for you, you won't even see their face.

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  • I have and the Same exact experince the unfortunate thing is it probably makes people seem more important than they need be when they have the combination of looks and personality. So even though a lot of people could be interested in me, if I'm only Interested in one guy every ten years it's going to be a big deal. And I hate that. Lol

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  • You shouldn't give up on meeting the girl with the right personality and looks for you. Maybe you won't meet her within the next year or longer, but when you finally meet her, it's going to be so much sweeter. There is a lot of truth behind literally or figuratively kissing a lot of frogs to find the prince.. and the same goes for finding the princess.

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  • You're not even 25 yet and you're worried that you won't some day find the girl who does it for you in every way imaginable? I think you should just go with the flow and when the time is right it will happen for you. In the mean time just be open to giving people a change given what you want. There are a lot of girls out there who feel the same way you do.

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  • You shouldn't settle because it will make for a crappy and loveless relationship.

    Since you're not open to giving unattractive girls a chance, because sex is very important to you, perhaps you should give the attractive girls a chance.

    How long do you court these attractive women? Is it enough time to truly get to know their personality? You could always share your interests with them and possibly turn them over to "the dark side"

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  • You ll never find your ideal person right? Cause this person doesn t exist. And you r not perfect too.
    But of course don t settle down with a person you are at least attracted to, and go along with.
    Or else it won t last at all. Anw you are still young, there is time :)

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  • I'll be honest and say I'm more attracted to an attractive guy than a not attractive one. It doesn't mean I won't fall for a guy who isn't as attractive as the guy next to him. I do get where you are coming from. You are just gonna have to be patient and wait for the perfect person. Try casualing dating girls that are different than what you are looking for as well. Never expect the unexpected.

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  • Personality is forever, looks are.. not.

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    • Thats a nice thought and I wish it was true. However, I think the personality of anyone faces some change through enough time or certain situations. Neither looks or personas will outlast a lifetime. Ain't nothing wrong for what he wants in a girl anyway.

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    • That doesn't mean that I shouldn't care about how someone looks.

    • Then you must be quite a catch since you insist both on looks and personality xd But, yeah.. both are equally important, some more than others.. if you do find someone who's a 10 then congrats..

  • You and every other guy.

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  • You have a long time to look. Maybe your looking the wrong places. And when you care about someone looks stop mattering.

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  • If you're looking for a very specific personality type then good luck...
    Everyone is different. You just need to give them a chance.

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  • noone cares about looks. yes its a bonus but is it that important? as long as you love her for her

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    • You'll learn that personality isn't everything, but neither is looks

  • It seems like you're very picky😞.

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  • You do know that love can happen any time. Either you fall in love with a girl who your personality check list have and or the girl who has a bit less. If I were you... I'd rather look into a girl's personality than just her appearance you know.

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  • i'd go the adam levne route - just date models until you find one that has your personality type

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  • You seem picky to me. :p

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    • I am, but I still keep my standards realistic. The type I'm attracted to are just very rare.

  • why don't you create one robot better for you , you have a laptop so start creating one.

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  • Well what "personality" are you looking for?

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    • The stereotypical classy and smart girl that is kind and also knows how to be tough as well. A pretty rare combination in itself, and the few that I have found like this I did not find physically attractive AT ALL.

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    • Lol what's so funny?

    • Well, I know quite a lot of girls like that

  • That's what it is. You don't always get what you want in life. You get one or the other. Good luck

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  • I think you should wait! I mean... Of course everyone hates waiting, but, if you can wait a little longer and find the perfect girl, why not? Instead of getting with many other girls and crushing hearts while doing so.

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    • That's what I'm thinking about right now. There is a girl that I'm considering, but she's not exactly what I'm looking for so I don't know if i should give it a shot or not.

    • Well, think about it! Think over the pro's and cons! Of her and you guys being in a relationship! Do the cons out weigh the pros? Vice versa. :)

  • Well seems like if you really want to date/be in a long term relationship (or try), you are going to have to compromise. If you are looking for long term, a good partner, etc. a decent looking woman with the great personality sounds best. Do you just want sex and no connection then for the rest of your life? Go for the "hot" ones, but it might not be as fulfilling as the other.

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    • I get what you're saying about the decent ones, but I haven't even found a decent girl with a good personality yet.

    • Keep trying! I actually stopped dating for a while myself since it was getting exhausting.

  • Oh cry me a river... Stop being so picky... Ever heard about compromise?

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    • Salty?

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    • Girls do the same thing all the time

    • I sadly agree with that somewhat... But not every girl is like that 😋

  • It all depends where you are looking. You dont necessarily have to lower your standards but sometimes even the average looking person is the most beautiful from inside. I would say go out to your favorite places and you might meet someone who has same interests as you. Once you get to know people, you will see how beautiful they are. Dont judge a book by its cover.

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  • No one said dating is easy

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  • no one is perfect.

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  • I think you should try to lower your standards of this perfect personality and perfect face. There's only 2 people in this world that look VERY similar, so you're going to have a very tough time finding these 2 girls in a world full of billions.

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    • I'm not lowering my standards. I would rather die alone then settle just because I gave up. You can't force yourself to be with someone like that.

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    • Aww I'm sorry. That sucks. I think you should try again.

    • You'll find this girl you're imaginig in someone you won't expect. :)

  • Have you actually tried to get to know the girls you find attractive first? Or are you just trying to fuck

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    • Do I sound like a horny kid to you? I dated my last girlfriend for two years and we never had sex. Not because the relationship was bad, but because my emotions aren't driven by it.

    • Well you are a guy so yea... I would be dumb if I thought a straight guy did not want to date a pretty girl that he does not find sexually attractive

    • Well dating is different from an exclusive relationship

  • Maybe you are too picky...

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    • I will not lower my standards. Last time I forced myself to do that it wasted 2 years.

    • Ok, you have right to choose... but lots of girls are picky too.

    • I know that. They have a right to be.

What Guys Said 9

  • I know how you feel.
    The rare times I come across both, they're already taken.
    A girl I work with, mmmmm in every way. TAKEN. :(

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    • This is so me. Every time if find one that I actually have a chance with they are taken.

    • ... but doesn't this suggest a solution to your problem? You acknowledge that you've found people you're interested in, but they are already in a relationship. To me that suggested a couple more things: 1. You need to increase your opportunity to meet the type of person you are looking for and 2. You could learn more about the types of things the "taken" people like to do and perhaps see if available people do them too (perhaps a good place to meet the type of person you like. Either way, you recognize they exist, just that you haven't found the right person at the right time. I'd say , that's a pretty positive thing.

  • here lesson for you and its pretty funny. the so call unattractive girl make friend with them if you like the personally, and she will introduce you to some girl with the personally and the looks. pretty girl don't hang out with pretty girl but they hang out so not good looking one. So if you meet a girl and you not attractive to her, be her friend and see if you can meet some one from her

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  • Well, what do you want us to tell you? You can keep on waiting for the perfect girl or realize that she doesn't exist and change the way you see things. It's up to you.

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  • Bad girls, great looks. Great girls, bad looks.

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  • girl are becoming to manly these days.

    other than that he lie and make man life miserable. at end of day we only need them for sex to let off some stress.

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  • This is why I hate myself... I use to feel this way.. then in jan. I found a girl.. who has a great personality, smart, attractive, etc... and we dated up until 3 weeks ago.. and I feel like I pushed her away.. I honestly want to punch myself in the head.

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  • Meet larger numbers of women. Ask out large numbers at a time, date multiple women at a time. It's a numbers game -- so increase the number you see, and your odds of finding the right girl go up. Don't get attached to a girl, be able to move on very very quickly.

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  • i totally get you pal. these women are extremely rare. you can only settle now for uglier good charater girls.

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  • You have to keep trying.

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