How do I get over being led on and lied to and used for sex by this guy?

It happened over 5 months ago but I'm still not over it. He told me we were dating and he never took me out anywhere in public. We were dating for like over 6 months and he never introduced me to his friends or parents. He only wanted to see me at night

his excuse was he works during the day
after we had sex he told me his idea of dating was not the same as mine

and he would verbally abuse me

I'm already in therapy because I'm dealing with being sexually assaulted by a ex close friend I knew for 4 years and it happened 3 years ago but I finally addressed the situation but then I Am finally addressing the problem with what happened and I'm getting really tired of getting told to date again when I really don't want to


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he's your age I would say he's taken to the old saying "treat her mean, keep her keen." That being said you never get over being used, not really. You just keep a note of what to watch for next time. You can be happy on your own and don't need to date. Given your issues I would say take 2yrs for yourself and just do you.

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    • He's 26 I'm 24 when we met I was 22 and he was 24 going on 25

    • I don't want to dump on my own gender here too much and there are exceptions, but I will say that Men in their 20s are driven by physical needs. Women in their 20s are driven by a shared connection to their partners. Then if flips in your 30s

Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand the feeling when people are pressuring you to date. You should only do what feels right for you. Allow yourself time to heal. My advice is to use this time to learn how to love and pamper yourself. To often I see woman bend backwards to fulfill the needs of their man but in that process they forget about addressing their own needs.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Wait... What? How can you be on a date and never go out in public? Where do you go? Alone for a stroll in the woods with him? If he works during the day, go out on the weekend or at night.

    You need to have some restraint when dating and have the guy take you out a few times and have fun to see what kind of guy he is before you get too physical.

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  • Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes

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    • My therapist told me the same thing but I'm still mad. I have a hard time letting things go

    • Show All
    • Yea I do admit I texted him occasionally

    • Stop playing his game. He's going out of his way to yank your chain and you're letting him. Completely cut him out of your life permanently and move on

What Girls Said 2

  • Awe, I'm sorry about your situation. I've been in a similar one, my ex told me if I didn't have sex with him he didn't want to be with me. He's very abusive too, verbally and physically. He's an asshole and everyone deserves better than that. Just let it go and move on from it. Date when you're ready and tell people to stop concerning themselves with it. I hope I helped! (:

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  • Just ignore him

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