I'm seeing this girl and we're not official yet, but its going well and we're hanging out a bit. I still live at home whereas she doesn't and so naturally I have a bit more money saved than her. When I ask her on a date or to hang out and it involves money, i'm totally cool with paying because I really like her and money doesn't really matter to me as long as we're spending time together. She says she feels bad sometimes though and is kind of apprehensive to do things that cost a bit more even when I say ill pay. Should I pay all the time or let her pay for things sometimes? She offers to pay sometimes but i'd feel bad (and kind of emasculated) if she paid.
I think you should let her pay for things. I'd get pissed off if my boyfriend never let me pay for anything. Even if you pay the majority - which is fine because you have more money than her, it's like a ratio thing then rather than a gender thing -, let her pay for drinks or something. Sometimes treating her to a free date would be nice but you don't need to do it all the time, no worries :)
Good question! I think the guy shouldn't have to pay for everything all the time. It should be balanced. I'd say the best option is to split the bill most of the time. IF you are doing something that costs more and she is worried about financials then you can offer to pay (if you have the money available. But don't feel pressured to do something! If it's too expensive then don't do it unless you really can and want to). It's good that you have empathy and understanding for her. Just know it's OK for her to pay sometimes for herself. That is completely acceptable and fine. In fact it's good if she sometimes pays for herself then she won't feel bad. I know I feel very bad if a guy pays too much so it helps when I get a chance to pay. Even if it's just for myself :)
definitely not. that isn't fair. i think u should both balance is out. if u feel bad, u can offer to split the bill. this is the best compromise, but sometimes u gotta let her spoil u too =] it is a 2 way street after all.
I think you should let her pay if she wants to. I'm one of those people who hate it when people pay for me. When I went to visit friends and my uncle in Alberta during the summer, they all insisted on paying for me because I was their guest. I'd rather just go Dutch. My friends have two little girls and a baby on the way. I know kids are expensive so it bothers me that me a single woman was being treated by a couple with kids. They kept getting mad at me when I insisted.