Girls: Why dont you ask out guys? Guys: have you ever had a girl ask you out?

I am just curious, I just read a mytake on the subject and it has made me wonder why women dont ask men out. And it also made me wonder how many other guys have never been asked out by a girl (I know I have never been asked out by a girl). So I am trying to do 2 different questions in here. If you are a girl, I would like to know what your reason is for not asking guys out. If you are a guy, I am wondering how many girls have asked you out in your life.

  • Girls: The guy should ask me out
    7% (4)0% (0)3% (4)Vote
  • Girls: I am too scared, or shy
    52% (32)1% (1)24% (33)Vote
  • Girls: Its weird for me to ask a guy out
    8% (5)0% (0)4% (5)Vote
  • Girls: Other (explain below)
    31% (19)0% (0)14% (19)Vote
  • Guys: Yes I have been asked out by more then 3 girls
    0% (0)12% (9)7% (9)Vote
  • Guys: Yes I have been asked out by a couple girls
    2% (1)34% (26)20% (27)Vote
  • Guys: No I have never been asked out by a girl
    0% (0)53% (41)28% (41)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
And if you are a girl who has asked a guy out before I didn't have room for that option, so just say below. Also mention whether you asked him to be your boyfriend, or if you just went on a casual date.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have never really thought about who should ask who out. If I want to go on a date with a guy, I ask him. If it so happens he asks me first, that's fine too. I don't know why people give it so much thought and attention. I just go with my feelings. I guess it's back to the whole 'need to be desired' thing, I'm confident enough in myself that I don't need the approval of someone making the first move to feel desired.

    That said, I don't know why it's thought of as particularly ballsy and courageous for a girl to make the first move. Sure, it's great when a girl knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it but it's also great if you're a guy who isn't afraid. Gender shouldn't be a factor in this.

    I think it's quite sad for people to think negatively about girls asking guys out. If a guy says no after asking them out, that's their call and completely up to them - but as a girl, I should be able to ask someone out if I want to, regardless of the outcome. It's unfair to be waiting for a guy who may or may not ask you out. Life's too short to sit around and ponder. I'd rather skip the bullshit and hard-to-get antics because if two people like each other it should be simple.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would like to be asked out by a girl ;)

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What Girls Said 30

  • I asked my now boyfriend to homecoming. Paid for his ticket, picked him up, paid for dinner, walked him to his door...

    It wasn't a casual date by any means lol there was no doubt that we'd leave in a relationship.

    But, to be fair, he was the one who asked, at the dance, to make it official.

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  • i asked my boyfriend out. i had to... he was oblivious to the fact that i even liked him. we've been together for almost 6 years now, so im really glad i did :)

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  • I'm too cowardly. >.< I believe it's totally fine for girls to do the asking, but I'm really shy and terrified of rejection. It's why I try to be very polite about turning down guys who ask me out. Props to them for having the courage.

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  • I've asked a couple of guys out before. I was turned down every time. I didn't ask them to be my boyfriend because that would have been too big of a change. I prefer to be friends/flirting for a while before jumping into a relationship. Not that I've ever been in a relationship, but that would just be a setup I know I would be most comfortable with.

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    • Props for the courage. And yeah, you gotta date for a while :) Just saying, "Hey, we're suddenly in a relationship" is foolhardy.

      I hope, given your experience, that when you have to turn a guy down you are good about it.

    • @Transigence I've only had to turn down a guy once and I went the "I only see you as a friend" route, thanked him for the offer but declined.

    • That's not bad, as long as it wasn't, the "I don't want to risk/endanger/sacrifice/damage our friendship" route. That one is actually disingenuous.

  • Do it all the time, bro.

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  • I often wanted to but I'm soooo shy 😭😭😭 and terribly scared of rejection or just looking desperate, too..

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    • But then to be fair I haven't been asked out by any guys yet, either, so it's only fair of me to be like this 😁

  • I have asked guys out on dates before, and I have also been the one to bring up the talk about becoming exclusive before.

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  • Cause I'm too shy and self-conscious, and rejection would literally kill me.

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    • at least you will know what us guys go through, you should try it at least once, it will build your confidence

    • Show All
    • @Zorax i agree, any guy that rejects her is blind

    • @Eric644 Yeah, we all know that, but she is too modest to admit it ;)

  • I asked my boyfriend out more or less. I never said the official proposal, but I was the first one to slyly ask for his number, hold his hand, kiss him, and I don't remember if I was the one who asked about meeting again later but I wouldn't be surprised if I did. He's the first guy I ever cared to peruse so I was pretty bold with him lol.

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    • He's the one who decided to make us official though. This is because at first, he told me he wasn't really looking for a relationship, so I was like, "Oh, I can change that... Hehehe..." and bid my time until he changed his mind.

  • I've asked guys out before, but only if they're my friends cause strangers can be awkward y'know. Most of the times I don't ask, cause rejection kills.

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  • I'm a wuss. also, rarely see guys I'm attracted to and when I do they're never alone. it'd be to awkward to attempt approaching a guy while he's in a group of people. and usually only older men seem to notice me unfortunately.

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  • I think asking people out is more of a personality thing than a gender thing. I know plenty of girls who ask guys out, even if I don't.

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  • I've only asked a guy out once.. and that was because I really (really) liked him. Otherwise, if the attraction is just enough to hold my interest, it's rare that I would ask the guy out. This is because I'm usually interested in more than one guy at once, so whichever one actually steps forward and asks me out is the one that's going to stand out. It's kind of a test of confidence.

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  • I've actually asked out guys before. It was weird the first time but I got used to it. Girls if you haven't already try it out, I've noticed that even if we don't go on a date he's usually very shocked and flattered. I've even made a few guy friends that way and it's funny when we gather around and talk about how we met lol

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  • Well, I do ask men out. If I'm talking with someone, and he shows clear interest on me, but don't make a move, I think if he might be shy, so I just go ahead and ask him out.
    For boyfriend, I only asked a boy once (mostly because they seem to be ready for a relationship before me, so they are the ones who ask me this)

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  • I'm a very shy person and approaching a attractive guy to ask him out would cause me to have a panic attack! I could probably ask him out through a text message but face to face no.

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  • im shorter then most of the girls around me who are 5'6-6'2 im 5'3 and when a cute boy shows up im the first to go up to him because i know if i dont go straight up an ask i won't have another chance

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  • I've asked out a few, but its not really my thing.

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  • I don't ask guys out because I'm really shy.

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  • Doesn't help that most of the guys I like give mixed vibes or have girlfriends

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  • I have bad luck with guys and I'd rather save myself from embarrassment.

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    • Most of us have fucking tons of bad luck. That's just now the numbers go :(

  • Coz I am scared of rejection. Voted B.

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  • I have asked some people out before.
    Only those that I knew and liked of course.

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  • I can't ask a guy out I'm so self-conscious and I'm terrified of rejection. Plus I tend to over think a lot

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  • I've done it before. I don't really do it, as I've been rejected a couple of times and the first couple guys said some mean things about me and laughed. It really hurt my feelings. I mean, just say no. Anywho. I thought they exhibited body language and such to make me think I had a chance or I wouldn't have asked them. So now... I just don't trust my instincts...

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  • I've asked guys out before. I don't usually make the first move, but when I was in college I met this guy and started to like him. I tried asking him out, he rejected me though. I was okay with that, fair enough.

    I've asked other guys out before, however I've had issues because if I'm not attractive enough to the guy he gets offended.

    So I tend to wait and just talk with a guy first before making a move. Usually the guy asks me first.

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  • I have asked guys out before. I asked one to the school dance (he said yes) and another if he wanted to go to the movies as a date (he said yes).

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  • The only way I would ask out a guy is if I knew him for a while. Random guys ask me out while I'm on the train or on the buses or if I'm waiting at a train station and it's uncomfortable. I feel like guys are more likely to ask a random girl out on the street than women and I personally feel that generally women prefer to date guys their friends know or have known for longer than a year before even considering a relationship

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  • I told myself I never would then fell for a guy he rejected and I will never ask a guy out again... I feel like that time just showed me guys are supposed to take the first step

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    • at least you know what we go through, don't give up!!! try again

    • Why, because it feels bad? So I guess in your world things that feel bad are for guys.

    • @Eric644 I guess I just don't ask the first time.. After the first date I'm comfortable enough to.. Perhaps I sound old fashioned

  • I've asked a couple guys out on a casual date. I think the reason I don't do it more, is there's just not really a need to. Also, I like to get to know someone before asking about a date, but often guys are a lot faster about that. Past boyfriends I've had were guys I hadn't met before, but they asked me for my number/asked me out and we got to know each other. Those types of random approaches are not what I do. Each time I've asked out a guy, it's because I've already talked to him and liked him for a couple weeks before deciding to make a move.

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What Guys Said 25

  • Most of my relationships started out with the girl making the first move. So I suppose that makes me a hypocritical asshole when I talk about this issue a lot on here.

    For one girl, she had to make it really obvious. She was giving strong hints at her interest, but I don't go for hints. I've gone for hints and got burned. Like, "rumors and near-expulsion" burned. So she was basically like "I want to go out with you you big oaf!" and that's when things started.

    Another girl was a little more forward than I would like. Flattering for sure. But she was saying stuff that would clearly fall under sexual harassment had it been a guy.

    Actually, I recently discovered one girl apparently "sexually assaulted" me? I mean, I didn't consider it such. But she pinned me down and said she wanted to "teach a virgin the ways of the world" or something like that.

    Most of the time, it has been some sort of small tug-of-war. She shows a bit of interest, which makes me feel safe to show a bit of interest, etc.

    But honestly, I feel like girls are in a better position to ask out or flirt overall. It's harder to offend or creep out guys if you are awkward or a little too forward. And most of the good guys have learned to just keep their feelings to themselves. After all, for every one girl you hear excited about a guy flirting with her, you hear 20 more saying men are creeps. Numbers like that, you just assume girls don't want to be flirted with or hit on at all. Thus, respecting them means simply keeping your mouth shut about your attraction to them. Of course, this means the guys who don't care or don't listen are the ones doing most of the talking. So in order avoid these guys, you have to be the one to show interest.

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  • Girls all use the excuse "I'm too shy". Well guess what, guys can be shy too. I'm not automatically immune to shyness because i was born with a penis. 😒

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  • mh... I've had many girls ask me out via social media, without me doing anything, but none of them were interesting to me really. Plus, they live in corners of the world far away from me. I do appreciate honest compliments though.

    Or, when I comment on something online, I get contact requests from random girls...

    Doesn't happen in real life though... f*ck... srsly, grow some balls, girls (not all of course) :P

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  • Been asked a few times, my current girlfriend asked me out. I'm not sure if that counts really cause I chased her for a couple months and eventually gave up. Then one day out of the clear blue sky she asked me to go to a movie with her.

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  • i voted yes I've been asked by a couple but thought about it and I've been asked out by 4 girls

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  • I've been asked out by 1 girl and I said yes, though I shouldn't have said that. I was 11 so I didn't really know what to do.

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  • I love all the girls saying they are too shy/awkward... as if most guys aren't that way but still find a way to ask girls out!

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    • I have been asked out twice- they both were actually insane and didn't last more than a month... hopefully that is not just something girls are like who ask guys out...

      My one ex also was extremely forward with me, though waited for me to make all the big steps happen.

  • I have been asked out but I said no because she was ugly :(
    Since then I realized if I want a girl that suits my preferences than I have to find her myself. She's not going to waltz on over to me. If I don't another ugly girl will approach me.
    Damn I really hate it when they do. It lowers my self esteem making me feel like I'm only good enough for them.

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  • I have been asked out before, or women have done the "going 95% of the way but too afraid to say it" thing.

    Almost all the women who have done so have been the ones I wasn't interested in dating. Weren't attractive, etc. Very few of them were actually hot.

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  • No girl has literally asked me out but has sent clear messages "what are you doing this weekend... I'm not doing anything" "there's this thing I wanted to go to but I have no one to go with" wink wink

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  • Yep!!! and they were girls that I thought wouldn't give me the time of day, I'm below the required 6ft for most women, so i'm a little self conscious about not fitting the 6ft requirement that the media tells girls that they need to put on their checklist, but those experiences built my confidence, also being in shape doesn't hurt either

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  • I've never been formally asked out but I've had girls drop hints that they want me to ask them out. Stuff like

    "We should get a pint sometime"
    "I really could go for a beer right now"

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    • that first one was asking you out. she was just being subtle about it.

    • @thewanderingme yup but I was referring to unambiguous approaches instead of subtle stuff

  • I can't even remember how many times I've been asked out by either friends or strangers... I've also never had a woman say no when I ask them out.

    I have no idea why, it's not like I'm super hot or rich or something.

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  • I haven't "officially" been asked out. I had a girl one time who basically went to extreme lengths to get me to ask her out though. I wasn't interested so it got really awkward...

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  • well they usually asked me out, when i thought i´ve made it pretty damn obvious, that i don´t feel anything for them XD sadly no girl i liked ever asked me out :D

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  • I wouldn't complain if a girl asked me out tbh, it would be nice.

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  • i get asked out quite often but i am not interested in those girls

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  • When i was a freshman a girl gave me her number

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  • I've never been asked out and I don't expect that to ever change.

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  • nope never had a girl ask me out :( probably terrified by me

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  • Blame feminists those who have asked out guys were only asking out the hot guys.

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  • They do, it's just rare

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  • Haven't yet but I'm surprised by some of the answers from the girls

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  • I have been asked out by women, but it's rare. Maybe twice in my life, best guess. That paradigm seems to be changing among the younger generations, though.

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  • I've been asked out by women quite a few times I accepted about half the time. I admire their moxie. Much more often a girl just makes it very, very obvious she would like for you to ask her out.

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