It's just very confusing when I see posts on forums in general. On one end, I see people doing all sorts of things and having this active dating life where they're meeting all these new people, and trying to get into a relationship with one of them, etc.
And I've personally been trying to esbalish that status quo, but I've been completely unable to so far in my life, despite trying. I have had no luck or even a hint of interest from girls at all despite putting myself out there quite a bit (I've talked to many girls and asked out quite a few so far in my high school career). I've never even had a female friend. I've been wanting to date for quite a long time, but haven't gotten any opportunities. This is old news for those of you that know me.
See I'm not just talking about love or sex, but getting dates and generating interest.
So it's confusing when on the other hand, you see some people saying to "be patient" or "it'll happen on its own" and phrases of the like. I just feel like if you have an active dating life already, of course that's all you can do at that point, but I don't think it's applicable to someone in my position, which I don't want to get into details of because there are a lot more complications that I just don't want to mention because it would take away from the cohesion of this question and I just don't have the space.
But basically, that advice just doesn't seem adequate for someone who is unable to even have a dating life at all, again because there are peole going on loads of dates, and I find it hard to believe that all of those dates are just coming out of thin air for them.
Most Helpful Girl
You've got to pursue it to some extent.
If you don't leave your house, you will never meet women.
It's like getting a job. Rarely will anyone just offer it to you, you have to get out of the house and find one. You get rejected a lot but, but one day you finally get lucky and land someone.
I think what they mean by "it'll happen on it's own", means that when you do find someone, don't try to force the feeling. It should come naturally once you meet the person2
Most Helpful Guy
Ahhhh, my friend, I am in somewhat of the same boat as you. The dating game is a daunting and confusing prospect to me. I have not dated, and am not really into the whole pubs-clubs- and bars scene.
I put myself out there a few times in high school, once I was successful, didn't last though, and we were still kids. The last time I tried, which was in yr 11, I felt an immense attraction towards her, and she really liked me, but it seemed she was not quite on the same level as me, which was rather devastating.
I have not done anything since, although I can't say that I understand the your side completely; I do get girls showing interest in me, I am aware, but they never really act on it, and I don't feel the need to.
I do have a great desire to be with someone, but my belief is that the perso that I will end with will be a best friend first, and then develop into my lover. So I practice patience, which is very distressing because I do desperately have that desire, but I learn to live with it.0
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