Should I be open to a date or is it unfair to agree when I'm not sure?

Its been a really tough couple of years. Trying to get myself back on track. Nice guy has asked me out on a date. I'm just not sure how much I can give - commitment wise and physically. Not sure about the whole thing. Am I being unfair by giving false hope or is it unfair to close it down straight away? We also work together and it feels like the entire world now knows which is added pressure. I want to be honest but in the past when I've tried to explain I'm not sure what I can give guys always take it the wrong way. I don;t want to give details as to why so I understand why they end up confused. The last thing I want to do is muck anyone about. Help!!

  • Say yes and see how it goes
    80% (4)67% (2)75% (6)Vote
  • Don't waste his time
    20% (1)33% (1)25% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're not sure, then I would say go out with him.

    However, it kind of sounds like you're sure you're not into him, but you're feeling pressure from other people or you don't want to hurt him (or possibly both). Am I correct?

    On a percentage scale from zero to a hundred (hundred percent being absolutely certain you want to go out with this guy) where do you stand?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You know what, just go. You might have a good time. It could also be awful for the both of you, but you won't know unless you go.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • If he is a nice guy maybe ask him to wait a little longer for you to make up you're mind. And a nice guy should be understanding when you say you don't want to expand on why you're so closed off, just yet. Still I think that if you are going to be with someone, at some point, you're going to have so share with him eventually. So I guess if this is a guy you can she yourself with in the future, someone you feel you might be ableto open up to at some point go for it, take things slow, move ahead when you're ready. So really it is up to you, are you ready to start getting close to somebody yet, or are both of you just going to get hurt, becouse he isn't the type who is going to listen when you think things are moving to fast, or he wants you too much share information too soon and keeps trying to pry it lout of you even after you tell him not yet. So you are going have to look at yourself, becouse right now sounds like you're not ready to put all of yourself out there, if you're comfortable with this guy, and how you might react if doesn't end well. Then look at him becouse while he may be nice does he have a hot temper, is he the type to go all in or nothing, or is he patient, is he empathetic to those around him?

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    • Thanks. You've made some really good points. What's putting me off is the last guy I dated was impatient. It was good in so far as it made me more balsy coz I had to be with him, but eventually it dragged me down. This guy is nice and considerate. It's just difficult to get across that me being heistant isn't a reflection on him or that I'm not interested. Guys end up assuming I'm not bothered or else pressuring me with questions. It's hard to explain on a first date that they last few years have been really rough without them wondering what the hell is worng with me. At the same time I want to be upront that I take things slowly. I suppose it's stirking the balance. I'm also trying to find a balnce between moving on but not stressing myself out either with lots of explaining. Thanks for taking the time to answer and give so much thought :-)

  • Isn't the whole purpose of a date to find out whether you like each other? It's like the prelim to boyfriend & girlfriend -ing right? At least that's what it means in England, you date first, and then you get into a relationship, it's kind of like job interviews.

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