My boyfriend is a good deal younger than I am. He's really sweet, caring and loving, but sometimes I feel like our relationship will never work out.
I gave him a chance in the beginning because he seemed mature - he wasn't like other guys his age - but now I see that he's not all that mature. He obviously has experienced much less in life than I have, and doesn't have the most patience, so when things happen that to me are par for the course, he freaks out.
For example, he tried to earn some cash by selling his old stuff to a thrift store. He got so upset and pissed when they offered him a meager amount for his stuff. He claimed they were trying to 'rip him off' and 'cheat' him. I'm like, "It's a thrift store. What do you expect?" And i explained to him this is how they make money not that they are trying to rip him off. He didn't even want to listen to me and swore they were cheats.
I mean, yes, this is not a big issue, but its just one of the many things he has to grow up to understand. I think he just needs to experience the world more. That said, how much time should I give him to 'grow'? What if this is just the way he is and not something he can grow into? I get annoyed with him when he shows his immaturity, so maybe am I the problem? I keep thinking, if we were the same age we would be experiencing 'life' together, learning about new things together and I would be less annoyed.
So tell me, is this relationship doomed? Or should I give him time? If so, how much?
Most Helpful Girl
if the relationship is doomed or not will depend on the attitude you have towards him.
It isn't fair to have patronizing thoughts, be annoyed or thinking he is immature just because he reacts differently to certain situations than you do.
Yes many things come with age, also a certain level of "no fucks given" but not everyone is the same. there is a big chance he will still be the same person in a few years.
You should focus on the important things that show you if this relationship is worth working out.
things like his general personality and capability to adapt to unexpected events. Problem solving and communication skills.
the plans he has for his future, and if those match up with yours.
the way he treats you and how he values your relationship.
Is he respectful and supportive of you.
Are you compatible in your general view of the world and life
etc etc etc
Take my relationship as an example: I am 36, my fiance is 30. I do have a lot more life experience and broad general knowledge about many things, having owned a business with my ex husband and so on.
Those are things I cannot expect him to fully understand, but I don't blame him for it. I have at times been his coach, his lawyer and his secretary, and have done so because he asked for help, or I saw him being taken advantage of and stepped in.
None of it lessens my respect for him, because he is great in everything else.
so, in short: the relationship will only work if you can love and respect him for the person he is NOW and not what he might or should be like when he is 30 or 40.
If you can't, the only fair thing to him, would be to break up.1