Why do people say rejection gets easier the more you experience it?

Really, it does? Never got easier for me, in fact, every new rejection has just damaged my psychological state more and more. The closest it has ever gotten to a vague definition of "easier" is that I've become colder and more willing to just manipulate people to get what I want. I wouldn't call it easier since I'm just wracked with guilt now.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact that you kept/keep trying says you're a good person. You believe in things. That's not a bad thing. You just may be surrounding yourself in all the wrong situations. Switch it up. Don't think of it as rejection. Think of it as your guardian angel getting you ready for your future wife. Like "nah bro, don't waste your time". I don't know. I just know that when you think positive & put positive vibes into the world that it does come back. Things do get better. Just truly can't give up. Sounds easy but it's hard asf & hurts like hell but will be worth it in the head. Keep your head up & keep searching. 😊🙏 your future wife is out there somewhere. You will find her. Get a hair cut or something too by the way. When u look good, you feel good!!

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    • Actually, I did give up

    • just think about it as she missed out on a great opportunity and if she didn't even want to take the time to get to know you, well, screw her!!! You deserve better, and I think she's right maybe it is like a guardian angel telling "dude, don't even waste your time with that bra". Who knows, there may even be a time when one of them may actually get to know you and start to like you and then you may be the one to turn them down, and trust me, when that happens it is very bittersweet

    • cause if that happens you can hold your head high while she walks away with her head down knowing she missed a great opportunity with a great guy and should have given you a chance instead of focusing on the a holes. it gets better bro

Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 8

  • It doesn't get easier, it just becomes normality, you just start to expect to get shot down every time you try. However when your advance is reciprocated it makes you forget about all those times it didn't work out. Just gotta keep trying!

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    • Yeah, you do expect rejection, which is how you become bitter and resentful, and willing to manipulate and discard people.

  • Why do people say rejection gets easier the more you experience it?
    Possibly because they mean you get more desensitized to it.

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  • I don't think the pain feels less but the first time you get rejected it feels as though you will never recover. But as you go on you realize that you can be okay (and even amazing) again. You learn to value yourself based on you instead of on one person's opinion of you.

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  • They say it's because you get desensitized.

    Truth of the matter is that the more you get rejected in a row, the more it hurts.

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  • Rejection is just rejection, it's not like my life is being cut off by this person

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  • That is crap... rejection is rejection... if someone disagrees it is a lie... it doesn't become easier but it becomes harder with each time... you lose confidence...

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  • No, no it doesn't!

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  • I don't have anything much to say that's helpful here, I'm sorry :(

    But I'm really sorry that you're hurt, I care, please don't be sad <3

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What Guys Said 16

  • because the more you get rejected the more you learn from your mistakes and build up your game. It becomes like a game, i always expect rejection to be the outcome and even bet money with my friends that the outcome will be rejection, but when i do get a yes it's like I won the game and of course i end up owing my freinds money lol. It will get better the older you get I promise dude :). keep your head man. and if you are self conscious about things that can be fixed changed them, if you think its your looks that are getting you rejected, go to the gym. If it is your game, work on your confidence.

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  • ... because it DOES get less painful, as long as you stop taking it so fucking personally.

    You won't be every girl's cup of tea, and a self confident person know that not everyone will like him or her.

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    • It sounds easy in your fantasy, but, it's pretty fucking hard when you have nothing to be confident about

    • Building confidence takes time, it's a slow grinding process that most guys don't talk about.

      The trick is to pinpoint the good qualities of yourself, ANY good quality, and relish in those. The next step is to relish in those good qualities so much that you accept your negative qualities that make you imperfect and unique.

      Something as simple as being good at drawing, or analyzing people socially, or being skilled at a hobby is a building block for your confidence.

      ----

      I'm not just talking out of my ass, I know how it feels to be struggling with girls you fancy and not being able to figure out why.

      Heed my advice, bro; i'm speaking from experience.

  • You need to learn to just 'let go.' Let go of the outcome and have absolutely zero intention with a woman other than to just amuse yourself. When you try, you set yourself up for disappointment.

    Self-amusement and enjoyment should be your number one priority in any social interaction. If you're enjoying yourself, 99% of the time they'll enjoy your company.

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  • Eventually the guilt will go away and you'll be able to manipulate people without any guilt whatsoever. Then you can become a politician, start a new war, and become rich on kickbacks, then spend all your money on drugs and prostitutes.

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  • You might need therapy. That's not a healthy reaction.

    The thing some people don't get about rejection is that most of the time, the person isn't even rejecting YOU, they're rejecting their first impression of you.
    They're saying no to a very badly formed opinion of you.
    They don't know the real you, so they can't reject it.

    It's when a friend that knows you well rejects you, that you should take it personally; that's when it hurts.

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    • in the beginning rejection always hurts, but the older you get the wiser you get, so eventually you learn to get use to it and after a while it just becomes a game where you couldnt care less. This guy needs to build his confidence level, i don't think he necessarily needs therapy

  • You eventually reach a breaking point where you completely stop caring. It gets worse before it gets better.

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  • Dude I'm the same way it actually has made me so bitter that I don't want a girlfriend and wanna block the idea of a relationship out of my head

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  • you get use to it.

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    • The thing is, I have gotten used to it, and getting used to it has destroyed my confidence, the closest thing I have to confidence is arrogance, but that's all fake anyway

  • look in the mirror and ask yourself would you go out with you?

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  • I never asked out any girls.

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  • Rejection does not get easier. It gets harder and harder. Now I don't wanna seem like I'm bragging but I've been a nobody to a somebody. You don't need to settle for being a reject, things can change. Believe they can if you make them. It won't happen instantaneously, but change will happen.

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  • It never gets easier if almost all of them are no's. It just gets more and more depressing the more rejections you get without a yes.

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  • Dude. A spine. Grow one.

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    • I'd rather take yours

  • No it doen't, I'm 20 and have known nothing but rejection as all the girls who'av ever been attracted to me I was never attracted too and I couldn't date below a 7 Id say. anyway after highschool I started to get more attention from girls and then I lost all my hair to a condition, so even more rejection... but hey I still proudly hold my standards high, it suck but I only got one life, I will not accept less than attractive

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  • It really does, for most people.

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  • Overtime the more you get rejected the more you learn to detach yourself worth from that particular moment. Going out and getting rejected over and over doesn't make you feel better. Learning about rejection and understanding your thoughts and emotional reactions does. Unfortunately rejection is hard to understand without experience.

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