Guys, if a woman says, 'I can pay for it by myself.' Just leave it be. If it is some trick that she is doing to see if you pay, do not date her. She is ruining things for girls who actually do want to pay for their things! It just depends on the woman :)
Because men are taught that they are supposed to be the ones to pay. Usually, you're supposed to offer at least twice. Modern times, it's supposed to be a meaningless gesture when most women offer to pay, once. Then men are supposed to offer, again. Then, if the woman offers to pay again, then you let her pay. That's how I've heard the rule. A way of appearing as though they are willing to pay, when they're really testing you to see if you'll actually let her pay.
I've overheard girls say, "I offered to pay, then he JUST LET ME!"
I agree. Guys are always complaining women play games if that's true for them the they must be dating the women who do that. or maybe it's the guy who is eliciting that behavior. Solution So stop dating people who don't mean want they say. You'll find there are a lot out there who do mean want they say
I find it really disrepsextful if I say something and aguy goes in said I'm confusing him or I dont mean it. Ima n adult not a three year old. I know how to say what I mean Lol and I should not be held accountable for what other people do. That's really ba sresltionship steel. Leave baggage behind.
Honestly, I typically just go with it. I don't have the patience to deal with somebody who says anything other than what they mean. As a mature adult you owe it to the other person to be up front with them. It's simply a matree of respect.
I know it sounds stupid. But when the girl says she wants to pay for her stuff, it may sound like she didn't enjoy herself and would prefer to make sure she doesn't owe you anything so she won't have to go through this again. Yeah, we get insecure too sometimes.
well if iam asking her out and on a date iam paying ( but i never take them somewhere fancy or expensive , i am not rich yet and i wanna see the true her ) i insist on paying and won't accept money from her but sometimes she just throws the money and runs away... you can't really pin her down , take the money and put it in her pocket so u will have to accept it pay next time.
I think its just being polite. Most people decline favors initially because they don't want to seem needy or as if they expect them. If I offer and they decline, I usually counter with, "are you sure? I don't mind." but no more than that. I certainly don't have any ulterior motives or bad intentions, just being nice.
I usually say "no please let me pay, I invited you" and if she really really wants to play I'll let her. I don't understand some are trying to be nice and offer to pay some actually don't want you to pay
Some of us were just brought up that way. I look at from the perspective of who asked who out. The asker should pay. Having said that if a woman asked me out I would still offer and if she says no then it's ok. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I believe in being a gentleman. Chivalry isn't dead but well hidden in today's generation.
Guys will offer a 2nd or 3rd time only because of past events where she has either changed her mind about paying or they suffered from not paying b/c she harbored a grudge that he didn't insist enough.
You don't need to feel so abused now that you have this gift of another 10 years of experience benefits your perspective.
Also at play is old school egos - the one that pays is the dominant one, whether they wear the hat of boss, husband, master, older/wiser, better job/income, whatever.
Yes, I realize paying cuts the obligation ties and assumptions but friends borrow in order to repay and repay doesn't have to be sex, even if that was mistakenly assumed - this could be cookies instead
Why do guys offer to pay again when a woman rejects his offer? In my opinion it is generally because they want to have a sense that the gal owes them. It is probably for guys to be more sexual or guilt a gal into sex when they feel she is indebted to him.
I completely agree. For some reason it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable when someone else pays for me. Once i have been dating someone for a while then yes i let them pay occasionally as i will pay for them occasionally too but other than that please guys when a girl says do not pay for her do not do it.
I'll only offer to pay if I'm the one who suggested the outing and I'll let the guy know ahead of time, so when we're out it doesn't seem like I'm "testing" him. But, so far, the guys I've gone out with squash my offer and pay for everything anyway lol
That's kind of a stupid opinion. I like him to ask the two times, Im still gonna pay myself, but I like him to offer to pay for me. If everyone should just reject each other based on tiny things like that, no one would date ever.