He says he doesn't want a girlfriend right now, is it just an excuse?

Under most circumstances I'd believe that he was just making up an excuse, but with this one I'm a little more confused. I've been hooking up with this guy for almost a year now, romantic moves have been made on both of our parts and it has reached a point where we've both admitted to having feelings for each other. He, however, is about to graduate from college and go off to law school (he still has no idea which law school), while I am only a sophomore undergrad. He's said that if he were going to date anyone I would be the girl, but that he really doesn't want either of us to get hurt given the circumstances. When I said okay in response, thinking that was the end of it and that we'd never see each other again (as we go to rival colleges) he proposed that we stay close friends, but told me that should another guy that I liked come along, to go for it. He is a very responsible young man, and is very thoughtful. Is "it's just not the right time" an excuse in this situation or is it the truth? I've told him I would remain close friends with him, and not wait, but I honestly think he might be the one for me and am concerned about never meeting someone else. I'm wondering if I should actively look elsewhere or if I might actually have a shot. Please be kind. This is a very touchy subject.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Duh, this man is telling you the truth when he says he does not want a girlfriend and a relationship. He is not prepared to be obligated to you or to commit to you. He wants to be able to deflect your questioning of his actions and his whereabouts.

    If other women come along that he wants to engage with; well he wants to be free to do as he pleases without any valid issue being raised on your part. What his actions are showing you is that he still wants the benefits and comfort of a relationship.

    He likes the security of having you around and he will always have a fall back as long as he keeps you close. It really is as simple as that. If that man wanted to be in a relationship with you then he would make it happen.

    Hell some guys don’t even really want a relationship yet they will still lock the woman down to ensure that they get what they want. So if he isn’t prepared to officially make you his girlfriend then his mindset is clear, and you should take this man at his word on this one.

    Good luck, anon.