Why hasn't he asked me out yet?


i met him last week in one of my lectures and i approached him after class and introduced myself. we started talking and he asked me where i was going and he said he'd walk me there. before he said by he gave me a hug and asked for my number. later that night we were texting and he asked me if i had a boyfriedn and i said no and when i asked him, he said he was dating someone a while ago but he wanted space so no he's not in a relationship. he said he's not looking for either but he goes with his gut. anyways, he dropped by to say hi to me two days later at the lib on the way to his class and hugged me hello. then on Monday he came and sat with me in class and our shoulder, or legs were always touching. id lean over and he never pulled away. once again he walked me to my next class that day and kinda gave me a little tap before saying bye. the next day he and i met up at the lib because he wanted to switch classes with me and we ended up in a class that worked for us both. if it didn't work for me he took it out of the running. we then went for a walk around campus and ended up sitting outside on a bench and i showed him 2025 pics from my trip this summer and he was fully engaged the whole time. then he hugged me goodbye. he sat with me in class again and then after class he went to say hi to some friends and so i introduced myslef and his friends and i were chatting and he said "my friends are friends" or something like that. but the entire time he and i were literally shoulder to shoulder touching. rather tahn going with his friends after class he went with me to the lib and we sat together and then we walked to the campus book store and then he walked me to class again. he opens doors for me and laughs at my dumb jokes. were getting a bit more touchy. weve definitely broken the touch barrier, and he's told me that he thought i looked good that day and weve spent hours together these last few weeks, but im not sure if he sees me as a friend or anything more. he hasn't asked me out yet and weve been hanging out for 3 weeks now so its not like we haven't spent any time together. im concerned that because he isn't looking for anything in specific that im wasting my time here. and he knows htat im interested in him. I've made it quite clear.

Updates:
...

0|0
1|1

What Guys Said 1

  • "he said he was dating someone a while ago but he wanted space so no he's not in a relationship. he said he's not looking for either"

    You already said he's not looking for a relationship... why would he ask you out?

    0|0
    0|0
    • good point. then why'd ask me if i was in a relationship right away? like he knows i dont do fwbs, i kinda want to ask him what his deal is

    • Show All
    • Well he's not playing a game if he told you from the start he's not looking for a relationship.
      If you want to ask him where he sees it going... it's up to you.

    • i honestly have nothing to lose. im just sick of my bad luck to be honest

What Girls Said 1

  • First of all, like most of us girls, you are trying to analyze every single detail instead of looking at the bigger picture.

    Turn the tables for a second. If you were head over heels for someone or even liked them enough, wouldn't you do everything in your power to make sure it was clear to them? Or would you play little games and keep them confused?

    Don't mistake niceness for deeper feelings/meanings, and just because someone is interested in you, doesn't mean they value you!

    9 times out of 10, if a guy is into you YOU WILL KNOW. He isn't going to want to risk losing you to another guy, by playing "hard to get" or sending you mixed signals.

    He's either just being nice, or stringing you along because he's not ready for a serious commitment. If you are looking for something non-casual, then move on from him. At this point in the game, he's be asking you out... not just flirting or being nice.

    Stop analyzing the non-essential details (I showed him 2025 pics from my trip this summer and he was fully engaged the whole time) unless you are someone's psychiatrist trying to diagnose behavior. You're NOT a psychiatrist. Look at the broader picture... which is, he's been nice to you and boarder-line flirting... but HASN'T asked you out after 3 weeks. Guys who like girls don't waste that much time because they want to establish something so you don't go looking elsewhere.

    Details with guys mean nothing, so you are wasting your time trying to pick apart every situation/action/tone of voice/smile/etc... Guys are not that complicated. Their actions tell you their intentions.

    Mixed signals or no signals = NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING SERIOUS

    He's clear with his signals or his actions follow what he verbalizes = HE'S INTERESTED AND YOU ALREADY KNOW AND DIDN'T HAVE TO QUESTION IT

    0|0
    0|0
    • you're right. next time i see him, im going to ask him. im sick of being interested in men who dont want relationships. its extremely annoying. like i dont want to be someones f__k buddy.

    • I think that's a good idea. Just be open and upfront with him that you won't tolerate being his friend with benefits.

      I fell into that trap SO many times... but now it's become so clear to me what a guys intentions are. I used to make it more complicated on myself by trying to analyze the details instead of looking at the bigger picture. It's actually quite simple to decode a guys behavior, and it all boils down to this: if you aren't sure or are getting mixed signals or are wondering "Does he like me?" The answer is NO. No, no, no. If a guys likes you, you WILL know. Being interested in someone or infatuated with them or being physically attracted to them does NOT mean the same thing as love or wanting commitment with them. I wish someone would have told me that!

Loading...