A recent myTake was posted on the subject of online dating tips. I follow all (or at least most of) the tips that the sites themselves, as well as users who've had luck, have suggested. Yet, I still get swarmed with opening messages of "hi" "how are you?" "what's up?", etc. I have no idea how to respond to such generic messages aside from with another generic line. I realize from the male perspective that many women delete messages without reading them, but for those like me who would read and respond if it showed the guy actually read the profile I put hours into wording, how can I get fewer "hi" messages and more that actually show the guy is interested enough to read what I wrote and use that as a conversation starter? This shouldn't be such a difficult request. I put the effort into my opening messages and would like more guys to do the same.
I used to hate those messages too when I was online. Like the person isn't even trying to peak my interest or get to know me. I guess some people have a hard time communicating, but it just comes across as being lazy.
If they are serious about you, they will at least send a few sentences. Doesn't have to be a huge life story, but a few things telling you about them and why they messaged you. Maybe even asking some questions to get you to open up.
And it's not always one sided. I would write guys messages like this and even respond with thorough messages.
There's really nothing you can do to deter guys from sending you those messages. The only thing you can do is to choose not to respond to the messages if they aren't willing to make conversation.
Its' like going to a party and only saying hi to the person, then the other person says hi and you both just awkwardly stand there not saying much else.
Doesn't it make you feel awkward when random people just say hi? I know it does for me, I usually like to open up by saying something to them like "Oh, I see you like ACDC, I love their new album!" or "Oh, ha I see you've gone for the Buffalo Chicken Dip, I like that too!". It at leasts gives you something to go on.
A good friend of mine told me that saying you're a sucker for pickup lines is a good way to avoid bad conversation starts, and provides a filter for people who aren't worth your time since they haven't looked fully at your profile.
One way to respond would be with a "canned" response to the effect that "I got your message, but it was so short that it was only worthy of this canned response. If you feel I should give you another chance, then enter 2nd chance in the subject along with a thoughtful message."
I'd love to write you much more than just hi. I have no qualms about any subject you want. I love intimate questions and/ or use skills I learned when writing porn for women, I did so professionally in Chicago a few years ago.
You reply "hi" or "how's it going, etc... The reason why people use "hi" most often is that it's non threatening. It's not a pickup line or an insult or whatever, they're just simply trying to get your attention in a positive manner, all you do is say hi back, that's what they're looking for