Guys are always trying to pick up my girlfriend. How do I stop it?

Seems like at least once a week when im with her some guy is trying to pick her up. If i go to the bathroom at a restaurant, run in the gas station to get a drink etc. i know it happens even more when we are not together. How do i stop this from happening?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's possible that she's very attractive and guys are constantly trying to talk to her but she can also shut it down pretty quick, too. You have to approach this carefully though, because you don't want to start an 'issue' about it. But maybe just pointing it out to her and asking her about it could help you understand what's going on better. Something like "man, you're so gorgeous all these guys just swarm you everywhere we go. it is strange when they hit on you when we're out together though, don't you think?" - it compliments her, it's light and you open a conversation about it.

    It is also possible that she likes this kind of attention, and is possibly doing something (even subconsciously) to attract that attention. Don't accuse her of that though, and don't attempt to limit her socially.

    Start the conversation and see where that goes. Let her know it is weird for you, but at the end of the day you have to be able to trust that she's not going to fool around.

    Personally - I get approached from time to time. It's only happened once or twice with my boyfriend present. But I am pretty quick to shut a guy down the second he goes from being just 'friendly' to straight up hitting on me or flirting. This is really easy, and sometimes I'll even be pretty cold about it. But I don't like that kind of attention, and I don't like to entertain others to come flirt.

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    • Don't try stop it. I suppose it boils down to trust & how she reacts. Be proud ur with someone they can't have :-)

Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Make sure she's not encouraging it. I dated a girl who was always getting hit on. Found out later that the vast majority of the guys hitting on her she was purposefully giving signals to and would only turn guys down when She thought I could see it. I never called her out on it so she thought she was getting away with it. Found out from her roommates later that she would bring up random guys to her room regularly. She never had sex with them but she definetly milked them for food and stuff. She was pretty much black mailing her roommates into keeping her secret from me, "the important one" (aka the one most likely to make the most money). Girl just had phenomenonally low self esteem and for the life of her couldn't figure out how to live a simple life.
    2. Relax and Learn to enjoy it. My cousins often get hit on whenever I go out with them. They're both taken and extremely faithful and definetly do not give off signals but guys always take the shot anyways. I used to feel the need to step in and make dudes back off then I realized they're used to it and know how to handle it. If your girls the type of girl that guys just grovel over despite seeing zero signs of interest she's probably used to it. And if she's a keeper she'll shut those guys down without you needing to do anything. I've got a simple signal with my cousins. When they feel intimidated they grab my arm or look me dead in the eyes and smile and I introduce myself kindly to the guy. That's usually enough. (And trust me I'm 5'10 145lb. Not an intimidating guy)
    3. Focus on her. possessiveness is really just about you. You're afraid of losing something so you cling to it. Instead detach yourself. Learn to just enjoy your time with her instead of thinking about whether or not she's gonna be here tomorrow. Once you stop seeing her as yours and start enjoying the moments it won't matter what other guys are doing. And your comfort and confidence usually does nothing but help your image in her eyes. So whenever I'm with a girl I just sit back let her talk it out with the guy and step in only on her request. It's her duty to remain loyal and turn other guys down I'm not gonna fight for a women who can't at the least do that.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Hahah It happens. I do get hit on in front of my boyfriend sometimes and he used to get really possessive, but now we think it's really funny. It inevitable honestly, you just have to deal with it. You have to be secure in the relationship and know that your girlfriend loves you and is with you. If she wanted to be with someone else, then she would, so don't let that insecurity get to you. You can't control the behaviour of other people, it's as simple as that.

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    • If she wants to be with someone else, she would be, is so cliche I can't even... the fact is, he probably could have anybody that hit on her, who's to say she wouldn't cheat on him with one of those guys, ya know?

    • Again, that's not her fault though. I think that has more to do with your insecurity and how much trust there is in the relationship. I asked my boyfriend what he thought of this question, and he just laughed and said, "Dude's so insecure". @Dave20152

    • Pretty much, but, you get what I'm saying, right?

  • You can't stop it from happening. You just have to deal with the fact that your girlfriend attracts a'lot of men. You should be happy and proud that you have your girl and the don't. You don't have to be jealous because if you do andvit shows it will drive you both away from each other.
    Just ignore it and let your girlfriend know how you feel about it!

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  • Ask your girlfriend what she's doing to prompt hits while you're there with her. aside from that, she must be hot, so take it as a complement to your taste and the fact that she chose you.

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    • it just seems unfair because I don't flirt with girls but she still gets to field offers if she so chooses.

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    • @Dave20152 not sure what your position in this post is but I'm just saying that it's rude to hit on someone who has a significant other and to do whatever means necessary to end it.

    • I'm just sayin'

  • Write a sign on the table.

    "Fuck off wanker"

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  • If you have a gorgeous girlfriend, this is bound to happen and there's nothing you can do but trust her. And be happy that she chose you. Quit complaining. Many guys want what you have apparently (girls too, but we're not talking about that)

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    • Why not just tell him to walk around with a gun in his coat. If a guy tries to flirt with his girlfriend he shows the gun and mean stare him.

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    • Who said I didn't trust her? If I flirt with chicks because I like the ego boost, or i find it entertaining or whatever, shouldn't she have trust me?

    • Guns, cause that's the answer to everything in the u. s. -_-

  • Just accept that it's going to happen. This is a lot better than the alternative, dating someone who has nothing going for them, who nobody else would ever be interested in.

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  • You can't stop other people from doing what they're going to do. Just be happy you have an attractive girlfriend.

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  • That is why a relationship is made up of trust

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  • Be friendly, join in their conversation with "she's taken" with a smile, then engage her in a conversation that has to do with why you are both there... e. g. what are you going to order, do you want to move to a booth, are you ready (to leave), now I'm ready to hear the rest of "that story" - to return the situation to the original "it's just us two on this date"
    As for her, guys don't approach someone that is obviously ignoring them and certainly going to shoot them down in public, so she is sending shopping signals every where she goes and I'm betting she loves the ego boosts of these stranger advances (that you don't give?)
    Another wild, blind guess: Then there's the guys that advance on a gal model that seems to be dating under her class or some weak guy from whom they can steal lunch money & his gal.

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What Guys Said 29

  • I know it feels bad but you can't do anything about it. You can't lock her up because that would be inhumane. You just have to trust your girl.

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  • You shouldn't. What you should, is have the trust and confidence in your girlfriend to know that she can handle herself and that she is with you, and there for you, and you for her.
    You cannot, and should not control the actions of others, just be happy to know that the girl that chose YOU, is THAT damn attractive.
    Hope i've helped.

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  • Maybe she dresses hotter than she needs to? Maybe she looks around a lot, smiles, gives off the wrong signals to guys and she inadvertently attracts attention?

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  • You don't stop it at all dude. Just be sure you treat her in a manner that regardless as to who hits on her she won't ever allow it to happen because she will know it doesn't get any better than what she has already.

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  • there is never a right thing you can do dude, i experienced this myself with my recent ex girlfriend who broke up with me. whenever i kissed her in front of other guys, she would call me possessive while i only thought about kissing her because i liked her. on this house festival a guy approached her , what i didn't know is that they were friends. and he had his arms around her and i couldnt see what he was doing, so i put my arm between them, pushed him back and told him to get the f. ck away from my girl. he then told me to calm down that they were friends , and i told him that i didn't know and that i was sorry. so he gave me a hand and respected me for protecting my girl. but my girlfriend called me an asshole for doing so, not even once she told me, thank you for standing up for me but he was just a friend. and maybe have a laugh about it with me. no next day she was criticizing me. you can't do the right thing dude, if you do nothing you are concidered a beta, and when you do something you are posseive woman these days are just petathic in my opinion. as long as she brushes them off its ok, and you should be proud of having such a girl, i had a few gfs who looked really good, and guys were hitting on them all the time, yes it pissed me off, but it also made me feel proud because out of all those losers, i was the one taking them to bed. not that any of those relationships lasted. or you could just kill all men in this world, i help you XD

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  • It is her responsibility to tell them to GTFO

    https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_artist.png

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  • Easy, get a less attractive girlfriend. Or you could convince your girlfriend to wear a burqa when she's in public. Otherwise you can't do anything about it. You just need adjust your attitude and be thrilled that you are with the girl everyone else wants.

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  • You don't.
    What you do is just except it, thank God that she is that attractive and have a great time with her.

    All other stuff you will suffocate her and make her wanna leave you or will make you look weak and makes her wanna leave you.
    So... don't even go there.

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  • You don't. If she stays loyal, then YOU should make sure you're not looking at other girls "that" way- I'm sure she worries about that the same time you worry about other guys. It's natural. If anything, you should take it as a compliment that she's attractive to many. It gets closer than "interested", though, and WHAM. Just how I find myself handling it.

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  • You don't. The only thing to do is to hope your girlfriend does not reciprocate their advances.

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  • It won't stop.
    There's a reason why you fell in love with her. So obviously other guys will be attracted t her too

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  • hold a Louisville Slugger when you go out with her, problem solved

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  • You can not stop them from trying to get with your girlfriend. If she doe not make any advances because she loves being with you and cares about you then that should count for something.

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  • You can't.

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  • Just tell the guy, "She's with me, dumbfuck." If you want to be more respectful, "She's with me. Move along."

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  • Put a ring on her finger and to be extra safe a couple of kids... best deterrent

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  • Date a fat chick.

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  • Um. .. you can't. People hit on people.

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  • You don't. There is no way to stop it. You just have to trust that your girlfriend loves you and would never cheat. If you can't do that, than you need to ask yourself if you really love her?

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  • you love her?

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  • Well, thats the price of dating a very attractive girl.

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  • Don't show you're affected by it, she wants to see that you are, it's just a test. The more you react, the more you lose

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  • Don't be insecure. If you're her best option, she'll stay with you. So just be her best option.

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  • Punch their lights out, perhaps. It certainly has it's drawbacks, like being arrested; but you can't deny it'd be less likely to happen if word got around that she just so happens to be dating the local psychopath.

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  • 1st of all don't worry about it, if she loves you she will turn down every guy that hits on her...2nd you sound like a guy that can't get another girl... I mean personally bro if I were you I wouldn't worry about it... If she likes the attention then it means that she isn't so sure that she wants to take you seriously... If she can't care about how you feel just cheat on her & do her so wrong that she will cry & hate you... She's playing with you anyways... By the way guys hit on her because she temps them to she smiles at them and looks at them dumb azz she wants them & your just one of those nice guys that doesn't know how to treat a woman... put her azz on check & grow some balls your the boss... Not her... That's how you treat a women like a king.. Not like a sissy little girl bro don't be a pussy... If you treat a women so nice they take advantage & do you dirty... Im not saying be an asshole to her... What I'm saying is be a man... Not all women are like that but for those who are you put that azz on check

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  • You can't really do much. Not as long as she's attractive to other guys.

    What you must do is trust her enough to the point where guys hitting on her won't be an issue.
    If she's loyal then you have nothing to worry about.

    But I've been there, just make sure she knows that you trust her. Or lets say a guy hits on her and you're close. Act manly and be like "no one hits on my girlfriend".
    To the point where she calms you down.

    That way she will know you don't like it and shoo away any guys in the future!

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  • Claim your territory in any way you can think of.

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  • She must be really nice looking, you can't do much about it or if you put a ring on her finger it may stop some of them otherwise you just have to trust her

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    • yeah I told her I'm gonna make her start dressing up like a nun, or one of those beekeeper outfits lol just joking of course but damn its frustrating

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    • Rent a small child or two, and have them follow her around in public... this alone should keep most men away.

    • @pnl86 haha that's funny, yeah that will work😊

  • It's about how she reacts... not about them. You can't control what these guys do. It's different if they try to assault or attack her, then you intervene.

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    • well she says she always tells them she has a boyfriend and she is not interested, but I know she has to enjoy it on some level. Most people do like receiving compliments. Just seems wrong especially how upet she gets even at the thought that I might flirt with a girl.

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