Seems like at least once a week when im with her some guy is trying to pick her up. If i go to the bathroom at a restaurant, run in the gas station to get a drink etc. i know it happens even more when we are not together. How do i stop this from happening?
Most Helpful Girl
It's possible that she's very attractive and guys are constantly trying to talk to her but she can also shut it down pretty quick, too. You have to approach this carefully though, because you don't want to start an 'issue' about it. But maybe just pointing it out to her and asking her about it could help you understand what's going on better. Something like "man, you're so gorgeous all these guys just swarm you everywhere we go. it is strange when they hit on you when we're out together though, don't you think?" - it compliments her, it's light and you open a conversation about it.
It is also possible that she likes this kind of attention, and is possibly doing something (even subconsciously) to attract that attention. Don't accuse her of that though, and don't attempt to limit her socially.
Start the conversation and see where that goes. Let her know it is weird for you, but at the end of the day you have to be able to trust that she's not going to fool around.
Personally - I get approached from time to time. It's only happened once or twice with my boyfriend present. But I am pretty quick to shut a guy down the second he goes from being just 'friendly' to straight up hitting on me or flirting. This is really easy, and sometimes I'll even be pretty cold about it. But I don't like that kind of attention, and I don't like to entertain others to come flirt.0
Most Helpful Guy
1. Make sure she's not encouraging it. I dated a girl who was always getting hit on. Found out later that the vast majority of the guys hitting on her she was purposefully giving signals to and would only turn guys down when She thought I could see it. I never called her out on it so she thought she was getting away with it. Found out from her roommates later that she would bring up random guys to her room regularly. She never had sex with them but she definetly milked them for food and stuff. She was pretty much black mailing her roommates into keeping her secret from me, "the important one" (aka the one most likely to make the most money). Girl just had phenomenonally low self esteem and for the life of her couldn't figure out how to live a simple life.
2. Relax and Learn to enjoy it. My cousins often get hit on whenever I go out with them. They're both taken and extremely faithful and definetly do not give off signals but guys always take the shot anyways. I used to feel the need to step in and make dudes back off then I realized they're used to it and know how to handle it. If your girls the type of girl that guys just grovel over despite seeing zero signs of interest she's probably used to it. And if she's a keeper she'll shut those guys down without you needing to do anything. I've got a simple signal with my cousins. When they feel intimidated they grab my arm or look me dead in the eyes and smile and I introduce myself kindly to the guy. That's usually enough. (And trust me I'm 5'10 145lb. Not an intimidating guy)
3. Focus on her. possessiveness is really just about you. You're afraid of losing something so you cling to it. Instead detach yourself. Learn to just enjoy your time with her instead of thinking about whether or not she's gonna be here tomorrow. Once you stop seeing her as yours and start enjoying the moments it won't matter what other guys are doing. And your comfort and confidence usually does nothing but help your image in her eyes. So whenever I'm with a girl I just sit back let her talk it out with the guy and step in only on her request. It's her duty to remain loyal and turn other guys down I'm not gonna fight for a women who can't at the least do that.2