I'm a slut or a bad person?

I'm 14 and in the past year I have had 2 boyfriends. both of them long distance the 1st was 21 the 2nd 16.

When my first boyfriend asked me out I didn't really want to date but he kept asking and started calling me babe.
So I went with it and we started dating.
After a day of us dating he asked for pics of my chest. I didn't want to so I said no.
We got in a fight and he asked if it was because I didn't love him or didn't trust him?
The next day he came and said sorry if I don't want to I don't have to. The next day he asked again I said I no he got upset, I didn't want to fight... So I showed him.
Then after a bit he asked for a pic of... Down there... I told him I wouldn't. we got in a fight.
The next day he said the same thing and that evening tried to get me to do it again but this time I broke up with him.
I felt pressured and sad... And I just couldn't take it. He tried to get me to come back but I didn't

2 weeks ago I met a person online. We talked for a week and I got a crush on him. he asked me out and I said yes.
After a week he asked for pics... I told him I didn't want to, and about my ex and he said he wouldn't do that. he said I would just show pics of my tummy and we would work ournwhy up.
Then pics of my bra. I told him I didn't want to do this but he said I have to keep going if we want this to work out.
Today we were talking and he asked for pics, I said I can't maybe later. He kept asking when I could send them, and then I told him I won't and he asked why?
I said I didn't want to and that should be enough of a reason?
he just said goodnight.
And I said what? Are you mad at me?
And he said "I said goodnight I have a big math test tomorrow the only reason I stayed up is because I thought… *sigh* goodnight ___"
Also he always asks what I'm doing and is mad when I don't tell him

It seems like this is going in the same direction...
Should I send him the pics?
I'm I I'm the wrong?
Are most relationships like this?
Thank you for reading all of this


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, until you turn 18, taking nude photos of yourself is creation and possession of child pornography, which is a felony with stiff jail penalties and a permanent mark as a sex offender on your record. So simply do not take and send pictures until you're an adult, period.

    Secondly, as an adult, you should never send nudes to someone you have never met because you never really know who they are or what they'll do with the photos (you don't know 100% with people in real life either, but at least you can observe their actions to get a better idea of who they are).

    And you're not bad or a slut for taking pictures if you choose to, but you should never feel obligated to send them if you're uncomfortable doing it. If a guy asks and you say no, he should respect your decision. If he keeps pestering you and pressuring you, he's not worthy of receiving them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No you're not in the wrong. But you are 14 so any pictures you send of yourself that are nude or nearly nude count as child pornography and is illegal. So you shouldn't send pics like that to anyone.
    And no, this is not normal. These two guys didn't respect your boundaries and just wanted to use you. Break up with this guy. A normal guy would respect you after your first no and would not ask again or act upset. If a guy get upset because you are uncomfortable with his sexual requests, it means that he's immature and doesn't respect you. Find a guy who respects you. Also find a guy who is around your age. That 21 year old guy was probably a pedophile...

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What Guys Said 8

  • You're not a slut, you're just extremely naive. Don't send pictures!!! That's the only thing those two guys wanted you for?
    A 21 y/o man with a 14 y/o girl? That's illegal and soooo wrong. But what's worse is that you send him a naked pic of you.

    Stop talking to this new guy, seriously, you're just being used again, don't you see the pattern? Put the pieces together.
    And please, stop getting in "relationships" that fast, cause you're clearly not ready and you're gonna get hurt pretty bad.

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  • No, most relationships are not like this, it all depends on the people in the relationship.
    Secondly, do NOT under any circumstances, if you feel uncomfortable with it, expose yourself in such a manner to an intimate partner unless YOU want to. It is your body, your sexuality, your life; none of these things belong to anyone else other than you. Learn to say 'no' or 'fuck off' if need be.
    If eventually you meet someone that you feel might appreciate such attention from you, and you want to give them that attention, and COMPLETELY trust them, then by all means, make that decision.
    Remember, it is your body, your life, and your still young.
    Hope i've helped.

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  • Why would you go out with a 21yo?
    Why the hell would you send him pictures of yourself naked? It's illegal for him to possess such thing. You should tell this to your parents. That guy should be in jail.
    Just stop taking pictures of yourself naked. It's actually illegal and you can be accused of producing child porn as ridiculous as it sounds AND your boyfriends can end up in jail too, where they belong.

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  • I don't think you are slut nor a bad person, but sadly some people see relationships in that way. it will be good idea if you stop it right now. and seriously use your 1st experience in this situation

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  • You are pretty smart not to, and relationships are not like that at all :( so young but you have a good head on your shoulder

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  • No and what you are doing is not a relationship.

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  • You're not in the wrong thise guys are just horny assholes. if you dont want to send pics just dont do it plain and simples. i dont think you are a slut or a bad person

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  • Neither one respected your no answer, that's not cool.

    by the way, going out with a 21 year old, as a 14 year old, is considered pedophilia, you could have called the cops on him after you said no and kept pestering you about it.

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What Girls Said 13

  • You aren't a slut or a bad person.

    Neither of these guys respects you though. You were right to break up with the first one, and you should break up with this one too. If you say you aren't comfortable sending pictures, he should respect that and not try to guilt you into it.

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  • No, you are not a slut. It sounds like you want someone to respect you that's all. You shouldn't feel pressured to send pictures like that unless you are comfortable with it. Just sounds like they are horny fuckers.

    I would probably ask you to stay single and focus on something you want to do or something you consider more important at the moment. You'll probably attract the wrong type of guys because they would think you're young, dumb and easily manipulative. Just stay true to yourself, be stern, and you'll be alright.

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  • Girl no! I was you 7 years ago. Don't do it. If a man likes/loves you he would stop asking if you told him no. He obviously has no respect for you if he won't drop the topic. Find you a nice guy who will not pressure you into anything you don't want to do. Learn to love and value yourself - and tell them no... I did the opposite when I was your age and it just keeps leading to other things next thing you know he'll be pressuring you into sex.

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  • Don't look for relationships online. I don't know what website you're using, but men on the internet are literally after one thing. One thing only. Look for someone your own age who you actually know, because nothing is seeming available in real life you're turning to the internet to find it quickly, but the only thing you'll find that easily/quickly are basically predators.

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  • This guy is playing you so hard, he cares more about seeing your boobs then he does how your feelings were hurt from your last boyfriend, don't waste another second with this jerk off.

    You're also not a slut, just take your time and find someone who respects you.

    Also you're young, focus on other things, you shouldn't be in these positions right now.

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  • Don't send pics and if you don't want to. Both of these guys are taking advantage of you and pressuring you into doing things you don't want to do. By the way, because you are 14, they're asking for child porn.

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  • you are not a slut at all. I agree with one thing one of the guys said, you are being naive. This guys doesn't want anything serious, if he just wants pictures of you naked then he is not worth your time.
    Also, I would not recommend you to try those online dating sites, you are too young and you are gonna find people that will want to take advantage of you.
    Dont send those pics, this guy is not going to respect you. He is just taking advantage of you innocence, don't let him do that, stay safe.

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  • Don't send him or any one else pics like that. Be safe. And no you aren't a slut, you just need to be smarter.

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  • Dude first of all u mad?

    These were not your boyfriends. Let me make this clear. These boys were just using u to get photos which I get asked for twice a day...

    Dude u really gotta grow up and send pics is honestly the worst thing u can do to ur self. It means u have no self respect. U just gotta ignore these boys and reject them.

    And no you're not a slut bit u will become one soon enough

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  • These men have no respect for you. And don't ever send a guy nudes no matter how trustworthy you think he is.

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    • By the way if you send nudes to a 21 year old he gets in huge trouble because he is in possession of child pornograghy because you are under 18

    • Guys make me sick. Your just a little sweet innocent girl, a bit nieve and these men are exploiting that. Totally disrespected you as a women and a person, completely Disregarded your feelings for their own sick pleasure. Never let guys treat you with such lack of respect, you are a women, and Gods greatest creation. And yes, get the police after that guys ass, you are not a slut, he is a grown ass man who is filth to society. Just move on from this and learn, stop before its worse, and cut guys who asks for nudes out of your life. Your ok though :)

  • They do not care about you at all. These are not relationships. They are just manipulating you so they can get nudes. If you met them online or they are older than you by seven years, thats definitely all they want. sex and nudes. they dont want to actually know you or be with you. dont send him pics and end it now. you'll find someone who actually wants to be with you for your personality and not your body

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  • You're not a slut or bad person, they are the bad people here!! . I mean what 2 year old would be interested in 14 a year old other than to use them? Thats what they are doing to you. When I was 13 going to be 14 I also sent such pics and he was 22 luckily my mom found out and put an end to it. I am 16 now and I know now I was doing wrong and he was 22 he knew it was wrong and still he was using me. Stick to people your own age!!. Older guys generally go after younger girls because its easy to manipulate them.
    He could blackmail you into sending more pics or having sex with him if he has your pics and just be thankful the first one didn't. DON'T repeat it again. I was also lucky mine didn't threaten to do all those things but plenty of people do and then the blame always comes at the girl if the guy's also underage ( like the 16 one). Anybody who tells you the BS ' if you love me you'll do it' say 'if you love me you won't ask for those things and respect my boundaries' . DUMP HIM. NOW. THE GUY'S BAD, VERY BAD,

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    • Also, internet relationships don't work out. they just don't. Don't trust anyone you have met on internet much less send them pics. Nowadays you can't trust people you meet face to face and you're talking about someone you haven't even met.

    • 21* year old

  • please please break up with them you can find someone who deserves your attention a lot more than these douchebags

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