It seems that if a guy is lonely and complains about his situation, he's told he's entitled, secretly a docuhebag, pathetic, etc. but when a woman complains about her loneliness she's told how she'll find someone, how she's perfect, how it's men's fault, etc. even if she's, I dunno, a morbidly obese sociopath with hallucinations. Why is that?
I think men are entitled to be lonely! You guys have emotions, let them fly free :)
If any guys reading this are lonely right now you should all know you're great, we all get lonely sometimes, things will get better and you are perfectly allowed to feel **** about being on your own. What works for girls also works for guys by the way, get yourself a big tub of ice cream and a film, and then vow to take up a class or something where you'll meet new people.
Anyone who tells you to man up or anything nasty that devalues your feelings can go stand on lego barefoot.
1) The guy being alone and lonely isn't the issue that people dislike or judge... it's him complaining or pouting about it. Nobody likes complainers or people who feel sorry for themselves.
2) Women have stronger support system then men. You gals grow up gossiping and sharing feelings and connecting. It's what you do.. maybe it's hormonal since you lack high levels of testosterone. Because with us guys it's the opposite... we prefer fighting and competing and challenging each other.
As men we support each other by teasing and poking and challenging. Perhaps this is unhealthy, I have no idea.
3) There's an unspoken understanding about men and women in the world of dating... it's the man's job to take all the risks of rejection and therefore it's his "job" to approach women and ask them out, and to lead the interaction. It's the man's "job" to take action, sorta speak. While it's the woman's "job" to be approachable and pretty and tempting, like a flower. Which feels more "passive" I guess.
And so when a guy is single it can easily be assumed that he's simply not getting off his ass and talking to enough women. And when a woman's single it can be assumed that she simply doesn't measure up enough for men to approach her.
Of course both of these assumptions are likely inaccurate and false... I'm just telling you what I think is going on.
Why aren't men allowed to be lonely? Men are allowed to be lonely if anything society seems to praise and encourage it as gals are portrayed as irresponsible children, golddiggers, sluts unworthy of commitment, or nags.
It seems more like some people dislike when men lament about being lonely by blaming gals acting as if being nice entitles them to the gal of their choosing. Some people dislike when guys rant and rage on gals for choosing to not date/fuck him.
Who even told you it's not allowed for men to be lonely? This "society" we're all talking about? You set your own standards. If you feel loney and you're a guy, no one can really tell you not to.
Men are expected to set an example of toughness and staying cool under any circumstances, but you'll find that it's slowly changing. Men are more allowed to show their sensitive side as of late, and that will only increase with time.
Everyone is allowed to be lonely, and everyone's loneliness deserves to be reckoned, regardless of having a vagina or not. :)
it the whole sexist gender role double standard. women are supposedly all sweet and pure and innocent and what not, while men are expected to attract them and have their way with them and what not. which is all absolute bullshit stereotyping. that stuffs just not true, and people are becoming much more liberal about gender roles. i don't think it's pathetic for a guy to be single, it just means he hasn't found the lady he's looking for yet.
I don't know, personally, i think it is okay for a guy to be lonely. I mean, men and women are capable of feeling the same emotions xD Maybe when guys say they are lonely, girls think you are just seeking after sexual things, not that it's true. But maybe that's what people think.
I guess it's always going back to sexist. I don't know, i've never said that to a man. I treat both men and women equally. I have friends of different gender and i give them the same advice. I always encourage them.
A. Because the guy continually talks about it, but doesn't want to change anything. Or B. The girlfriend is not yet a woman (no matter her age), and doesn't know how to be supportive in a relationship.
Because it's an unfair double standard, who knows how all this bullshit started.
Oh trust me. It's just as annoying coming from a woman. It's best to tell both to suck it up.
Because if they are lonely they need to come here and let me love them <3
In seriousness, because of sexism. Society considers it shameful to be feminine. Expressing emotions is seen as feminine, and therefore men are degraded for it.
However, if someone is called entitled, it could well be because they're saying people who have politely turned them down romantically are at fault. Rejection sucks, it hurts and if it happens to you you deserve sympathy and to feel better. But if someone is simply not attracted to you, then that isn't their fault; nobody owes it to you to go out with you or have sex with you
It's usually men's fault. Tell that to a bunch of guy and many will say you're gay. It's pathetic how something as natural as emotions have to be repressed in order for people to accept you. That's why women tend to be more happy and mentally stable, because they're in touch with their emotions, they let things out and that's healthy. The more you try to hide your emotions, the worse it'll be.
For example women have a lot more oxytocin triggers that flood their brains with the need to feel 'loved' and 'cuddles' all that, even though us men get it we don't have as much of a reaction to it
Socity makes out men to be emotionless (which goes against humans, because humans are very in touch with their emotions) and when a guy shows emotion.. For example crying.. At a very early age he gets told by socity to 'stop being a girl' or 'be a man'
Weird.. Famous men can sing about love and basically be a woman and yet.. No one cares.. Everyother none famous guy does it.. He's a bitch
a lot of guys have a standard of what it means to be a man. And sitting around and sulking over feeling lonely isn't included in that description. It sucks to feel like you can't vent, but at the same time. As a man I don't think you should sit around complaining to anyone who will listen. Usually the guys who do this are drunk or failing in more areas in their life than just relationships.
Doesn't sound pretty, but if you're not doing anything to make it better then you gotta toughen up. It's life.
Feminism and the double standard. A single man will always be better off on his own than a single woman. He can fix things, he can go out, sleep around, and watch football; if the toilet won't stop running a woman is going to have to call a man to come and fix it because she doesn't know shit about physics let alone fixing things. She wants a meal but doesn't want to pay for it all she has to do is call up a man and go on a date with someone she has no interest in and gets a meal 10X better than whatever she would have gotten. The trick here is that we subconsciously know that women can't handle the fact that their being single is far more pathetic than a man's being single so we do everything and more to make sure that they are happy with whatever situation they're in.
Pretty soon we'll start seeing "Yes even women on crack" shit to make women feel empowered when really they should feel like children until they figure out how to do the simple shit it takes to be a person.
Because society still accpets gender stereotypes, even though everywhere people argue otherwise. A man is supposed to be strong, so he cannot show weakness. A woman is supposed to be taken care of, so it's men's fault if there is noone around to take care of her.
Society is full of double standards. In some ways, men are still somewhat expected to embody the strong, silent archetype, while women are expected to be more emotional. The reality is that most of us (M/F) fall somewhere in between. That hasn't stopped people from having unrealistic expectations of what a man/woman should be, however.
It's not the lonely part that anybody cares about, it's the complaining about it that is the issue. It's because women don't have it as hard in sex and love as men do generally. They also don't have testosterone. Mix these two up and men have a mountain to climb, but to a girl, they see it as a guy complaining about a molehill. To me though, if a guy can't find love, what does he find? I think it's damn important, if not thee most important thing to get.
Do you really want to be lonely? I think the people who are insulting you are actually trying to help you change into a more sociable person. It's not fun being lonely. I think people should be encouraged to be more social. I think that's why this site was made, to help people like you and I learn to express our thoughts and feelings to others.
My guess it's just society's hypocrisy, I get it a lot as a guy with not really any friends after mine dropped me after I was critically injured, I suppose it's like "Oh you're a guy deal with it girls are precious diamonds you need to do everything for a girl and if you're a loser we don't want anything to do with you" sort of thing.
Mainly societal expectations, I suppose. I see a big difference between being alone and being lonely; someone can be in a relationship and feel lonely.
The real question is why are you worried about what people think... Personally I don't give a f... You should do the same... They don't pay your bills and most importantly they don't care bout you... There you go..
double standards baby. men are considered pathetic if they are not validated through pussy. by women too.
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