Is it a problem that I am extremely picky when it comes to a girlfriend?

See, the thing is that I want a smart, gorgeous girl that shares similar interests in me. A girl that makes me a better person. A girl that likes to have fun, but also like to hangout and watch movies or stargaze. I want a girl with a beautiful smile and beautiful teeth. One with a beatiful heart.. A sweet girl.

I've only come across one of these girls in 20 years. I don't want to date someone just to date them. I want all of this in them.

Is it truly bad that I know what I want in a girl? It can't be bad that I'm too specific, right? I mean I know that most girls don't fit ALL of the criteria, but I know that there are girls out there like this because I called one mine once before. I know I'll be single for a while until this girl comes along because I'm sure that they are far and few between.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No not at all! Why would it be "too picky" if you already know what you want, its quite attractive, and you'll have many to choose from :) You have to be these days, and to find the right one that fits all your criteria is very possible! Thats sexy and will make them work that much harder for you!

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    • Thank you very much for your comment.. It make me smile :)

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    • If your dating someone or interacting with girls, don't be afraid to show a romantic interest in those you do believe meet your criteria. Not just something that's clearly platonic. Though if you can reserve sex, then it also sends a message that your not that type of guy to just get into her pants

    • Oh of course!! I'm waiting until marriage for sex.. No doubt. And yeah if the girl meets my standards, my god I'll treat her so well

Most Helpful Guy

  • The better looking you are the pickier you will be, regardless of sex. Subconsciously, you will seek out a mate "worthy" of your genes and with genes equal as good, if not better. This may sound odd and pretentious, but its true.

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    • I'm no where close to better looking. I don't think I'm picky because I'm attractive.. I actually have low self esteem.. But I feel like I'm picky because I don't want to waste my time on a girl that I know doesn't suit my interests and wants in a girl. You know?

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    • Texting is boring and lacks emotion and phone calls can get annoying. The best place to talk to her would be in person. Make eye contact, be affectionate and act proper. Don't be rude, but don't act whipped either. After you pass this barrier in person, texting her will be a breeze. But don't start texting first. Its weak

    • Okay perfect. I'll try and get an idea if she still likes me. I haven't talked to her in weeks... I'm busy with school (civil engineering major) so who knows if I missed my chance. OH. forgot to say that I met her parents and they love me. Her mom said to her behind the scenes that it I ask her on a date, she should definitely go. So I already have her parents behind me. I found that out from my sister. I've just been taking things extremely slow.. As you can tell

What Girls Said 19

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing what you want in a girl and sticking with your preferences.

    The only thing I will caution you against however is being TOO rigid in your preferences. I'm not saying that the girl you describe doesn't exist, I'm just saying that you want to be careful. You wouldn't want to be sticking ONLY to that one preference/type that you are attracted to when there could be plenty of other perfectly GREAT girls right under your nose that you may be overlooking simply because they don't fit some criteria that marks on your box.

    I would say there's nothing wrong with dating a few girls here and there that you find good conversation and "chemistry" with now and then. Get some experience dating and seeing what other types of girls you could be interested in. As long as they are friendly and you have things in common with them, why not try to get to know them as well?

    Again, I'm not saying that you forget your preferences (they are good), I'm just saying don't overlook other girls who you could be perfectly compatible with simply because you're looking for this perfect girl that you have conjured up in your head lol. I don't know how old you are, but if you're in your 20's you honestly have a lot of time to find that "special someone" in the future. I would focus on having experiences with girls that you have things in common with and like to hang around. Give them a chance. You may find that you like some other girls for different reasons as well! :)

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    • Thank you very much for your opinion! I enjoyed it and found it very helpful. I am 20 years old.. I know I still have a long time to go. My preferences aren't "I need a girl who is all of this and if she isn't, I don't want her". No lol, that's absurd. I still have my eyes open for any other girls who I am attracted to. No one seems to show interest though... though I do think I am bad at taking hints when it comes to girls... EXTREMELY bad. :/

      I would love to find a great girl and get to know her and take her on a date and see how it goes... It's just a matter of securing and finding a girl who is interested :)

      As of now, I would absolutely love to just become friends with girls without any real pressure of a relationship or anything. I'd love to see a side of girls that's "hidden" from the public. An example of that is a girl in her own environment not caring what she looks like. If that makes sense?

  • No, it's good that you're picky. Not being picky and settling for someone who isn't your ideal partner will likely lead to a failed relationship, even if things are good for a while. It's good that you know what you want and even better that you are willing to wait for it.

    However... if you find yourself falling deeply in love with someone who maybe doesn't fit all of your criteria, don't throw away the possibility that they might be what you need. Maybe you meet someone who doesn't have the perfect smile, but who makes you smile perfectly. If she makes you a better person and your heart is saying yes, you might consider taking your relationship further.

    I guess what I'm saying is... don't stop being picky, but don't completely disregard a woman who might be perfect for you just because there are one or two things that aren't what you envisioned your perfect woman to have.

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  • Sounds to me like you were in love with that girl, and you still love her which is why no other girl seems to compare. You will realise you've fallen in love with the next girl when suddenly, they meet every criteria. Really though, it's because when you've found a person you really like, you see them through rose-coloured glasses. Your mind can bend things to believe whatever it wants to believe tbh.

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    • I like your approach, however my criteria will not change from girl to girl. Say my ex was tall and I say I love tall girls.. Which I truly do (5'9 ish), but then I fall in love with someone who is 5'. I'm not going to go around saying that I absolutely love short girls. No. I'm in love with this new girl, and I know I'd prefer tall girls, but It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me and I'd still love her the same.

      Throughout life, when girls had these attributes and qualities, I've always been more attracted to them more so than other girls. Its something I know what to look for from here on and out. I'd rather not waste my time with someone who I know doesn't suit well for me.

  • It depends. Would you rather be single forever than date a girl who doesn't measure up to your standards?

    I have my wish list. And then I have my non-negotiables. I may prefer a guy who is taller than me, makes a lot of money, is intelligent, etc. But I can accept someone who isn't. Everything in my wish list.

    I was told pick 3 non-negotiables. 3 things that can be as specific as you like. If a guy violates 1, he is gone.

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  • Is it a problem that I am extremely picky when it comes to a girlfriend?
    Not in my opinion. Though I may be biased as I have criteria for a partner others may considered picky ie d*ck size, height, and being absolutely handsome.

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    • Thank you for your opinion. May I ask what each of those criteria are? I'm just interested and id like to see how I compare with the girl mind. I hope that's not weird? 😕

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    • See, I used to think I couldn't like a guy unless his dick size was what I liked. Because my first was HUGE. I mean huge. But then once you actually get to know enough about a guy and things have flowed well enough that you actually see/touch their dick, it just really doesn't matter. I already like them as a person by that point.
      For example, the most recent guy I dated, I started to have realllly strong feelings for him. Smallest dick I have ever had, I was shocked at first. He since broke up with me and I'm still hurting over it, so I am trying to think that his dick wasn't up to standard anyway to try and make myself feel better, but tbh, the sex was still REALLY GOOD. So, I don't think dick size is important.
      And I realise I just nit-picked one of your points and it wasn't your main one but it just sparked my interest :)

    • @Suhmer
      Meh I don't really see it as nitpicking ad I am stating my criteria. Dick size isn't important to you. It is for me. Different opinions.

  • As long as you realize it will probably take longer, there is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you want.

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  • No not at all just remember while your looking for all that , she's looking for that as well and she might not see you as you think you are

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    • Thank you for your opinion. May I ask, what do you mean by that. I am no where close to stuck up or anything if that's what you're sayin

    • I didn't mean to imply your stuck up let me try and say it better cause I , in fact am not smart. If your looking for a 100% girl you may only get a 90% girl because that 100% girl is looking for her 100% guy and she may not see that in you as you know you are. Also knowing your self worth does not make you stuck up in the slightest you know ur smart u know what you want you already know more about what you want more then guys twice ur age , but you should give a 90% a chance she can do all that to and maybe grow to a 100% in ur eyes

    • Oh of course. I know I can meet a girl with 80% of these qualities.. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try with her and leave her for a girl who has 100% of these qualities I'm not saying I'm only going to date a girl with strictly these qualities. Maybe she shares some interests with me and has different interests as well that's perfectly okay. She may not have a gorgeous smile or perfect teeth, and that's okay too. As long as I find it attractive and love her, there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever

  • You'll find someone that has all those qualities. She doesn''t have to be universally awesome, as long as you think she's perfect. And that'll come in good time. You're only twenty, anyway.

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  • It definitely isn't a problem. It just means you don't wanna play around and are looking for something serious, someone you could imagine yourself marrying one day. I think it's actually a good thing. But don't be too selective just be natural and you'll meet someone who will perfect get along with you.

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  • There' absolutely nothing wrong in that. Everyone has different things they want in their S. O. It's normal. As you grow older, your checklist starts to shrink. All I can say is that when you meet her/get to know her, you'll know she's the one.

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  • Well its good that you know what you want. Also out there is a girl that wants the samthing like you. But keep in mind sometimes people fall for the person they least expected.😊

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  • I don't think it's really a bad thing to know what you want in a girl. It's probably better to be a little picky so that you find the one girl that's right for you ^-^

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  • You sound polite XD feels good to read! You'll find someone soon, best of luck!.

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  • Its okay to be picky so at least you know what to want for a girl and you just want the best for you. But on the other hand, if you really love a girl you don't need those criteria of yours and opposite attracts. :)

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    • Thank you for your comment! It means a lot! I know I don't know the future or who I will meet, but I feel like if someone doesn't fit those qualities, I'm not sure if I'll even get the feeling of love.

      Random, but I know this girl who is absolutely gorgeous. Like stunning. I know that she finds me attractive and a sweetheart. I've thought before that I'd like to date her, but she's always out and about, going to concerts and parties, while I'm someone who doesn't party. I'm no extrovert. She also drinks (she's 20 and I don't drink or smoke). I know you say that opposites attract (and boy am I attracted to her 😍), but seeing that I like to cuddle and watch movies while she likes to party, that seems too opposite. And I also want a relationship to last. I feel like if I follow my guidelines in what to look for, the relationship would last longer than if I were to go for this girl.

      I'd like your opinion though.. What do you think I should do about her?

    • I also agree with you on this that if, despite her being absolutely gorgeous, but is one of those party girls, and drinks thats definitely a red flag, and If your not feeling it and willing to reject her despite her beauty and stay to your standards it will serve you in the long run. Are you strong enough to reject her if she makes overt advances?

    • @Mandycandy42 yes I believe I can reject her. When it comes to it, my heart will know what to do and it'll know what's right. When it comes down to choosing a girl, I use my heart more so than my mind, though my mind is still partially active. If that makes sense? I'm not the kind of guy to go "oh a pretty girl likes me, I better jump on that while I have the chance".. No. I want a meaningful and heartfelt relationship where I can give the girl of my dreams every ounce of love I have.. Without smothering her of course.

      I truly appreciate your thoughtful response

  • i don't think its "too picky" everyone have his/her own preferences

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  • No you are not. I mean you gotta live with her

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  • Maybe you should try something different, you might get surprised

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  • Whoa your profile say 20 and you across a girl 20 years ago are you sure its not your mom you been thinking about this whole time?

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    • What? The sentence clearly says "I've only come across one of these girls in 20 years." That is past tense meaning throughout the 20 years of my life...

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    • I'm sorry, but why would I say im looking for someone like "my mom" who is a gorgeous girl that likes to have fun, hangout, watch movies and stargaze and who also has a beautiful smile and teeth. I mean what the heck..

    • So your mom not any of that well that's kinda rude to your mom.

  • Can we please get married! :)

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What Guys Said 8

  • No, not a problem. There are lots of great women out there. It is just a matter of finding them. Stick your plan!

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  • Nah, I'm really picky too. In fact, I had my 2nd dream girl flirt with me... 2 days before she moved to mexico :(

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    • Ah dang dude.. That's awful! Well at least you know there's definitely more than one dream girl out there for you! Keep your head up!

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    • Thanks, you too :)

    • The thing I'm hanging into is that she told me "3 years" so I assume that means she's coming back *crosses fingers*

  • To each is their own; if that's what you want, go with it. Will it be a challenge, probably.

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  • People can be to picky! It is good to have some common interests, however it is just as good for them and you to have some interests apart.

    It is not healthy to be so similar that you do everything together. Sane people need some time apart to do some of the things they love to do.

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  • The more requirements u have for something, the less objects u will be able to find that meets all of those requirements.

    As long as u understand this, u can be as picky as you want!

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  • if you enjoy being forever alone, it´s no problem at all. your decision.

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    • Dude what's that supposed to mean? Are you saying that there's no decent girl out there? What the heck. I'm not going to jump on a girl just to get something out of her. I want her for her. I want all of her just as she'd want all of me. If I want all of her, I want it to be something that I thoroughly love instead of wasting my time. We only have one life and I want it to be spent with someone special.. Someone I actually want.

    • no i´m not. i´m just saying that "if it is a problem" is totally up to you. if you are so picky that you can´t find a girl and are unhappy because of it, then it is a problem.

      i´m not saying there is no such person you´re looking for.

  • Good! Be picky!!! Don't settle for less, get what you worth!

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  • Lol that's not picky at all. That's just wanting a decent human being.

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    • lol well in 20 years, it's sad to say that I've come across one decent human being according to my standards 😅. Thanks for the reply man!

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