Was I wrong for doing this or is she crazy?

So I met this girl last Thursday. I messaged her on a messaging app on my phone, purely based on her looks. So nothing too serious right?

I, obviously thing that this was not going to be a serious relationship, went out with her on a date. She was 40 minutes late. But whatever, it happens.. I'm a pretty tolerant guy. We ate lunch, and saw a movie. I held her hand during the movie and then I helped her with shopping and dropped her off at her place. I planned another date which was preliminary for Monday, which was today here. Nothing was 100% confirmed, I told her that I would text her again.

The thing that sort of put me off her was that she would reply with one word replies and she was very un-communicative when texting. In real life, she was quite communicative.

Well, today, I got somewhat busy and forgot to text her until late. Surprisingly, she replied back saying she was "very very angry" and she thought I was just using her for sex. I replied, I didn't mean to do that, I was actually really busy and that I was sorry for not telling her.

She then kept going on about how she thinks I was just seeing her for sex. And THEN, she proceeded to tell me that she was looking for a husband, not sex. I never knew, in this day and age, that girls at the age of 21 would go looking for their soon-to-be-husband on a messaging app?

I then told her that I broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago and I was just looking for fun (this was a lie, I was just wanted to justify my actions without hurting her). Then she said "you should go to a brothel. and you should die. And go to hell with ur parents". Then she deleted me off the messaging app.

So, was I wrong for treating her like this? Or is she just one of those crazy girls that most guys shouldn't deal with?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Neither. I'm tired of men calling women "crazy" or "psycho" or whatever. Just because they react to your bs they're not crazy. I hear so many men call their ex or dates crazy when in reality they were jerks and caused that reaction in her! For example cheating or lying and then when she get upset she's the one that's "crazy"? Ridiculous. If a girl's "crazy" then you, or some other guy (or both), 9 times out of 10 made her that way.

    Now. You didn't do anything wrong because you forgot, but she probably had several guys hurt her/use her for sex before and when she noticed things in your behaviour that reminded her of that she got angry believing you're the same as those guys.

    Anyway, it's a good idea to make sure your dates know what you're looking for before you go out so neither of you have to waste your time. Having lunch, going to the movies and shopping together might give the impression that you're looking for something serious. Just be honest from the beginning so no one has to get hurt.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think this is why people should talk about their intentions, because people tend to get the wrong ideas of what each other is looking for.
    I think your lucky she deleted you though she doesn't sound like a nice person at all, like seriously who says to someone "you should go to a brothel. and you should die. And go to hell with ur parents".
    Do not feel bad at all at least you found out sooner rather then later what she is like.

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  • I feel you two were on very different pages right from the start, and perhaps some communication regarding what both of you were looking for could have been useful at the start.

    Anyway, in my opinion she over-reacted a bit. Sure it's a bit awkward when someone doesn't reply right away but if they have a genuine reason why then usually all is fine.

    You guys were definitely on different pages, but even after she learnt you just wanted something casual, I still don't think those last comments were really necessary. Harsh much! She must have been pretty upset / annoyed!

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  • I definitely believe she has either had past experiences where the same type of actions happened and it led to her being used OR she interpreted the lunch, movies-hand holding and shopping as a serious thing and is now confused and upset.. I know-not helpful just opinion

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  • She just desperate ;)

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What Guys Said 0

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