Do a lot of people not treat dating partners like people anymore?

From what I see on here and have seen on other forums, it seems that many people have a commodified view on dating, where they treat their dates like commodities rather than people, trying to get the objective best they can and thinking of dating as a "market".

As a result, it seems like quite a few people don't even really care about their partners and are willing to break up over the most trivial reasons imaginable or the first time their partner does something they consider to be less than attractive.

I agree that attraction is important but still, it's an interpersonal relationship, and yet it seems like some people aren't even as caring as they would be to a friend, to a date. It's as if dating looks to be more of a game and competion, rather than just a natural process to find someone subjectively compatible.

People don't play such games or have a commodified viewpoint when looking for friends (most of the time), so why do many do it with dating so much?


0|1
6|5

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think people treat other people like commodities in general. Even people they consider friends. Society has changed a lot in the past few decades and people are no longer as connected to what is important anymore. Instead it's mostly about money or getting something out of people.

    I know a lot of people are focussed on what someone can do for them. I know it's nice to be well connected, but that shouldn't be the only reason they are friends with a person. It's good to have people who will support you.

    There are still decent people out there, it's just gotten harder to find because people manipulate and put on a fake mask to hide the real reasons they are around a person.

    It's unfortunate, but from what I have heard from some of my friends, they don't treat their partners well. Some of them say mean things. I get sometimes partners can be frustrating and sometimes it's venting. But when they are ordering around their partner or belittling them in front of other people, I can't help but feel sorry for them.

    0|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's weird hey. If I see anyone, my friendliness makes it that I buy the first round, I like nice up market places, take my friends out, compliment all my friends (girls and guys), help the out etc. as soon as I like a girl or I see she may like me, my entire thinking changes. I don't buy her a drink, always go to a neutral spot (like common coffee shop to meet), don't compliment her much, play mind games etc. like I have been busy and I apologised to a new friend and my band mates about my lack of presence with them. I never apologise to the girls I'm flirting with. It's warped but the moment I feel I give to a girl, I become a "nice guy" and am so scared of it.

    0|2
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • Do a lot of people not treat dating partners like people anymore?
    Probably.

    People don't play such games or have a commodified viewpoint when looking for friends (most of the time), so why do many do it with dating so much?
    Possibly because seemingly friendships are nonsexual and nonromantic relationships. When it comes to sexual relationships I find most guys tend to play games. When it comes to romantic relationships I find many gals tend to play games and most guys/gals have a commodities view.

    Friends are often generally people you socialize with. Dates have the seeming burden of being (potential) partners to share your life. There is likely a lot more criteria and standards to uphold. A friend can gain 20lbs and probably not affect socializing. A gal gaining that weight would likely find her butt dumped or cheated on.

    0|1
    0|0
  • All I can say, is don't believe all you read on the internet especially if it's like blogs or sites like these. But yeah I get what you mean!

    0|4
    0|0
  • Yeah I see what you mean. Its complicated.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It would have to do with traditionalist vs individualistic cultures

    0|0
    0|0
  • When my ex left me I did not force him to try to stay and make it work. I can't make a guy stay if he does not want to. He ignored me for 3 weeks before he dumped me through text and Before he dumped me I always communicated with him. He never even told me why he dumped me. My point is every situation is different. Maybe some of those relationships were trying to be worked out for years and the person was finally fed up when another problem arose

    0|1
    0|0
    • When you tried asking him about the reason, what did he say? He must have said something, or did he really have no response?

    • Show All
    • Oh okay, well there you go.

    • He never told why he left but I'm assuming that's why he dumped me
      But I don't know the reason why he dumped me

What Guys Said 4

  • I don't understand the cavalier attitude about getting rid of a partner for rather minimal reasons. That is not the way I operate. I am extremely loyal and never want to quit on a relationship.

    0|4
    0|0
    • Neither do I, but unfortunately it seems like that's how it works a lot of the time, at least from internet forums like here, seeing the kinds of questions and threads people post.

    • Show All
    • I'm one of the late-bloomers who has bee completely unsuccessful so far. Details under fauchevelent's opinion in this question: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1710554-why-is-it-so-hard-to-please-women

      ^^^ Just so you can see that I really tried and I am not inexperienced at all by choice.

      But I just don't see how that's relevant to the commodification of dating and relationships being overly represented here, as you imply in your opinion. In this question, I was saying how based on what we see on forums like this, dating seems to be very commodified where people don't seem to treat others like people exactly, but commodities. Now you say, that forums like this aren't an accurate representation, and then you go on to say that I the inexperienced and unsuccessful people are the ones who are overly represented here.

      I am just not seeing the connection there. How does that exaggerate the prevalence of commodification of dating?

    • Actually, at the moment I am a complete never-bloomer and again, you should take a look under fauchevelent's opinion, my opinion comments, to really understand the potency of my situation and see where I am coming from.

  • Because we live in a sick world.
    Dating with human is no more civilized than mating with animals.
    The strongest, biggest and most attractive males always have the best chances at landing the types of women average guys (me) can only fantasize about.
    Social conditioning plays a part too. Men and women play power dynamics that almost entirely favor women in the process, no matter how low their value is (in terms of personality). But women love to reject as many men as possible to gain power, then men sleep with as many women as possible to try and balance the power because that is considered alpha.
    It's completely primitive and I wish it would change. But it is a market, and there is value to it. I actually don't completely disagree, I just wish women could be valued for their intelligence and personal character more than their bodies. Sadly, most men are idiots and don't care about embracing those changes.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Certainly some truth to it, but relationships are not borne of such "dating" anyhow. Yes, dating has become something of a competition/ game, but that's more for kids who have too much free time and not enough brain power - offense intended to anyone that feels concerned.

    Why? Best I can tell, a lot of folks are just naive and shallow - brain power, if you will.
    What exactly is your concern in view of this whole shebang?

    0|2
    0|0
  • People treat dating partners like trophy to show of to their friends/family. Oh my god my boyfriend is a doctor I bet my female friends will be jealous. OMG my girlfriend is super hot. Now all my brahs going to be high fiving me for taping that.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...