I have been seeing this guy for 3 months but properly together for 2. He said he doesn't want to label it and he's not the type of person to put it on Facebook.. He does refer to it as a relationship and when I asked what he would say if someone asked if he had a girlfriend he would say that he's seeing someone. I've also met his family heaps and we are 'exclusive'. I know it's still early so I will give it time but I don't know if he means he would never want to label it or is just waiting to see if he definitely wants a relationship with me. Thoughts? What are reasons why a guy wouldn't want to label it? And how long should I let this go on for..
Also he was cheated on in his last relationship so maybe he is just being cautious?
Bingo , with the update , all the rules got changed. He is being super cautious as to not get his heart invested until he know it won't be ripped out again. From what I have read you didn't say one way or the other how well you to blend so I will assume you both get along pretty well. With that being said I would say give it and him time to see that your in no way like his last girlfriend. When he get to the point that his worries / fears of a repeat encounter things will change
I dont like labels only bc they are often superficial and people worry about the title over the content. everyone has a different idea of them. i prefer lists... like just tell me what you want in list and ill see what i can do ;p
direct unambiguous :)
you have good stuff going on. not having a level wouldn't bother me bc i dont care or them, but its worth asking him WEHY it bothers him. only he can know., his unwillingness to explain it is what would bother me. not the fact he dopiest like it.
Let "what" go on? You've met his family. You already have a relationship. Everyone important knows you are his girlfriend. What do you REALLY want, and how soon do you want it? Surely it's not just a mention on his Facebook profile.
I had an issue with labels for a while. Mostly I was just afraid. Usually I liked the girl a lot but still wasn't sure what labels meant to her or me. I didn't want to sign up for something I didn't know the terms and conditions for but at the same time I didn't really want to ask. So I kept pushing it off in hopes that sooner or later things would click and finally make sense.
Once you get a "label" you also get "expectations." Which means the girl becomes demanding and needy -- or in other words, the relationship becomes extremely unpleasant.
I think he may not want to label it because it's too early. From your description he does like being with you, and he's not hiding you in front of other people. Just give him a few more months for him to be able to call you "girlfriend" and don't worry that much about it. Enjoy your relationship as it is today :)
I'm in the same boat but 6 months in. I'm starting to think its because he doesn't want to have a girlfriend at all. I've met all the friends and family etc and they refer to me as his girlfriend but he doesn't. I'm preparing to walk away as I feel any man who truly wanted me would label it.
Read Steve Harveys dating book. If a guy doesn't give you a title then he is not serious about you or thinks you aren't going anywhere. Unless you have been friends for a long time, he thinks you are easy. The only reason why you know his family is because he lives with them. Serious men will always claim you before introducing. Make it clear to him that until you become his GIRLFRIEND then you are still on the dating market.
He might just not be into labels. First, don't push him on the Facebook thing, it really doesn't matter. Second if you are both agreeing to be exclusive then there really shouldn't be a problem. You guys are in a relationship. You just aren't giving it a title. Still if you really want a title and he doesn't then maybe he just isn't the right guy for you?
My current boyfriend did that to me for our first few months. He's just a private guy and didn't want to be bugged. Obviously he's not embarrassed by me. Not to sound arrogant but I know I'm attractive and not worth being ashamed over, he's just quiet and doesn't like everyone knowing his business. He said he knew if he told everyone via facebook, that everyone would disturb us, which I thought was cute. He gave in after like 6 months though. As much as I trusted what he said, I thought it was time for him to suck it up and accept the extra attention for a while. He agreed, and so should your guy.
I think he doesn't know whether he's ready for the real thing yet. He's probably still experimenting. Uncertain. Or her could be shy. Some people don't label and it bugged the heck out of me because I was never sure if we were together or not.
The only reason I can think of that he wouldn't want to label it is that he really doesn't want it to be serious enough and he wants to date other women as well
1. He already has a girlfriend 2. He does not want a relationship with you 3. He only wants sex 4. He's playing the field and is dating other girls 5. He wants to string you along 6. He is already talking to another girl and they are not official yet 7. He's genuinely not ready for a relationship with anybody
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