Even though im still young, i have learn a lot about mysellf, other people and dating.
Long story short i have learned:
- its more to people/guys then their looks
- ift a guy treats me right the fact that he isn't 5'11 and muscular shouldn't be important
- Attractions can grow over time, and you rarely adore people after the first two meetings
- more often young guys aren't interested in relationship
Casual relationship doesn't appeal to me, and even though a relationship is a lot of work, im willing to work for it. I have tried for 2-3 years now to date "less attractive" guys if you like. So they are basically guys that i find "kinda cute" and date because a part of me belives that guys that dont have girls approaching them often and maybe isn't used to a lot of female attention might apprichiate me more and would be more then often be interested in something serious.
I have a date with "that type" of guy tomorrow, but i always second guess it because im not sure if its a good idea to go on dates with guys who i only find "kinda cute".. If im looking for a serious relatinship is this the right approach? is it good to give less attractive guys a chance?
by the way when i say less attractive i dont mean ugly, i just mean that they are about average
Most Helpful Guy
After being screwed over bad several times by girls, I no longer seek materialistic qualities in people. If someone is average looking and is a kind, caring person, they are more attractive to me than the drop dead hot blonde girl. Moral of the story is if you want stability and hopefully a longer term relationship, then yes try less physically attractive people and less experienced. Just keep in mind though these people are probably gonna be more shy and you can't always expect them to make the move and you sit back. If you got more experience with dating then they do, you might have to show them the ropes a little bit. I really think effort in dating in relationships and dating should be shared 50/50. But still a lot of girls sit back and expect the man to make 100% of the effort.
I'm sort ve one of those guys that your talking about here although im decently attractive, I honestly don't get a lot of girl. Reason being, although I'm 25, I'm still inexperienced and I'm shy and sometimes too nice. I know how to respect women and treat them good, but I don't know how to act around women when first meeting them. So it's hard for me to get anything off the ground with anyone. When things have gotten off the ground were with girls who actually made an effort and people I felt comfortable around. They also showed what they liked and didint like and basically what girls do and don't like. Not all guys are educated on this!
But, in short , go for it. But, it's gonna be different and you might have to step up to the plate more. But, I think it's very mature of you to add some thought into who you date because most people just go on impulse which is usually just physical attraction alone and you end up with the wrong people when you develop feelings for them.0
Most Helpful Girl
Eh, I can see where you're coming from and why you might feel that way. I think I felt very similarly when I was in high school and college. But now, I feel more and more like you shouldn't compromise what you want and 'settle' (so to speak) just to have someone/a relationship.
I dated several guys that were not traditionally 'gorgeous' or whatever... Still decent looking guys. But what I found was that I had not only settled for less attractive guys, but they weren't even really the best match for me - personality/relationship - wise.
I guess what I'm saying is, try not to pursue romantic relationship just for the sake of having a relationship or just because they're interested in you. There will be guys eventually that you will be extremely attracted to - physically and mentally/emotionally.. And the right guys will be attracted to you, too.
I also felt, when I was in high school and college, that all of the guys my age pursued more casual encounters and none were that interested in relationships... I ended up dating older guys for a while because of that... Which I would also advise against. If I could tell my younger self these things, I probably would.
For me, it didn't happen til almost 23.0