Guys, help! why aren't college guys into me?

Hi! So I'm in college, and I was hoping to get into a fun, nice relationship with a cool guy that I can click with. I'm beautiful (as I am told on the daily by strangers not being conceited just trying to give you the best picture), into fashion and is a great dresser, and really easy to talk with. I've met a lot of guys, some who seem smitten and some who just come on really flirty or as really sweet guys. They get my #, and then they never text! Or we text for a little bit, and the convo fizzles out and they don't text me back. Or I text first to make the first move if the guy never texted me first but he eventually stops. In person, for first they seem super excited about me but then they seem to friendzone me or just be polite whenever we see each other. I do have guys that I know have a crush on me, but I'm not into them. The ones I'm into act as I've described! And these guys usually dated girls less attractive than them even though they could get a model.. which is interesting. I feel like guys just think I only have looks and fashion to offer, and don't give me the chance to show them my sweet, chill personality which I know they will like. I can also cook but these guys will never know cause they don't get close haha! Do guys think that attractive girls don't have much to offer in terms of personality and if so, how can I get over that flaw to connect better? Thanks if you're gonna try to help me with this! :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you sound perfect. Pretty, good dresser, engaging and a good cook to boot. Guys don't assume that a girl that is pretty only has that going for her. It may just be the opposite, they assume that you have all the game you want so they go on about their business.

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    • Thank you! I guess you're so right, but I don't wanna be in the game you know? As I'm sure they assume I am haha. I guess that's just how life goes right?

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    • I hear you, but I guess it never really felt right or it never worked out. Like they always seem so busy whenever I was planning on suggesting something, and for example this guy tried setting up dinner with me, then the day of never heard from him. 2 days later I got that "sorry! Was so confused with the times that day" text. he tried to set up another thing with me that week bc he felt "bad" and I said no cause I was busy (and a girl like me doesn't need a guy to feel bad for cancelling not being rude but it's true! as if he's gotta do me a favour). I felt bad about how I turned him down so I asked him if he'd like to get coffee with me the next day, and I never heard from him again ever. So I'm really not sure what happened here as all the people who saw us together briefly before all this told me I was way out of his league but I guess he didn't think so.. And I'm not a judgmental girl

    • Well, there's no girl that should go out with a guy cause the guy feels bad. You should have quit that one when he got mixed up on the day/time cause he obviously doesn't have his crap together. Sometimes it's just a matter of time and chance.

What Guys Said 6

  • Yeah, most guys think that beautiful women tend to be stuck up, have no light in their heads, and that will not like them because she's "out of their league".
    That's why the most attractive women tend to get little attention.

    I actually think it's the opposite, the most attractive women tend to be super nice because they aren't full of themselves due to not many guys wanting them.

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    • Makes so much sense! People have it so confused that beautiful women have all the attention when really they don't because of this stereotype, and no disrespect but a lot of my less attractive female friends have way more opportunities with guys than I do. Whatever I get is just pick up lines from guys or the dudes I just described.. But I don't know what to do about it because I considered playing down my looks to see if that will lighten up these guys but I don't wanna change who I am. That's just the way it goes I guess!

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    • Awesome advise man! I have a hard time believing that there is such a guy with enough balls to approach me one day haha. And tbh, 99% of the time I am the one approaching the guys I'm interested in, exactly to avoid the shitty ones bothering me. Except the guys I approach and try to befriend them, never works out! Guess it's all just a matter of time I guess!

    • There's always that guy, but it's the price you gotta pay for being that attractive. Sure, you may not get many men, but you'll get the best one. Those average women have low chances of landing an awesome guy, because awesome guys don't go for average women. Average women get more men because there are more average men.
      Also, you're in college, most guys at that age aren't too interested in relationships, so that's why many of them top talking, cause if you don't spread your legs soon, they're gonna say "fuck it, this is too much work, I'm going for the average girl who will give it up easy".
      Hang in there, keep improving yourself, cause like you said, it's a matter of time. That guy will come, or you will come to that guy.

  • What sort of college do you go to and what is your major?

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  • Do you go to your classes without being bacon wrapped? No? Then you're not worthy😛

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  • YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT ATTRACTIVE

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  • Do you have a picture of what you look ljke

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  • LOL I loved your post. The exact same thing happens to me. Im in college as well (US) and have your same description equivalent to a guy. I do not get it either, for some reason, the girls do not seem to give a chance. I know this may sound narcissistic but I am good looking to be modest, nice style, smart, fun etc etc yet girls go with guys that do not compare to me really. And it is not confidence nor anything, there is just something weird going on.

    Question, have you ever thought that you might intimidate some of them? That is what I think of myself sometimes. I mean you do get the attraction of some guys (even if you do not like them), I do to, but sometimes from the girls I want to actually go out with they do not seem interested and they instead go out with guys who are a mess. So sometimes I think that they may look at me as too much compromise because I give the impression (clothes, organised, good looking, my shit in order, behaviour) of looking for something serious so they are kind of turn off by that.

    I thought about that because sometimes girls like you (the ones that are worth it in my opinion) are the ones that guys (even myself) do not care to pursue. It is just to much work; girls with your description may seem uptight, hard to fool (in the case the guy only wants sex) etc. What is ironic is that that is not necessarily the case. What do you think?

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    • Wow can't believe u r in the same boat. Usually girls chase guys like u! But I have seen some reject better guys for crappy mess of guys simply because they all just want to hook up. And I guess it is intimidation.. But may I ask do guys get intimidated? Always thought that was a lie guys tell... And I feel like I'm so friendly and chill that there should be no intimidation these guys feel towards me! Again, all I get is pick up lines and random whistles.. Guess no one wants one person to commit to these days

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    • I just think guys do not want to take a chance with you because you may come off as too hard to seduce and physically escalate with. Only very confident men can pull it off ;) which are rare. And all the nice clothes, the way you carry yourself, attractiveness, coolness etc just blurs, unconsciously, the perception of the guy about you. It is just too much, a guy only wants to get physical the majority of the time. And if a girl looks serious (well put together) that is an obstacle for some reason.

      Sorry for the long post, I just got really into it since I can relate. Thanks for making my Friday less boring by the way.

    • Haha np! And oh well! I'm not changing! If anything, my being the way I am weeds out the losers!

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