Do you love someone if you cheat on them?

Can you actually be Inlove with someone if after 2 weeks of dating them you have already cheated on them

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This question is about my ex who I have stuck by for months even though she has put me through hell and just recently she started dating a guy who she barely knows and they think they're Inlove and happy but a couple of days ago she was at the same night club as me and she was hooking up with a complete random so it has confused me a lot with why she is sticking with this guy if already she has done the wrong with him

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What people call 'love' is something subjective. Most will have different perspectives on the issue, and what love meas to them.
    I've never cheated so couldn't say for sure what sort of relationship cheating has with love. However, I'd think they're pretty independent. In some cases, the cheater probably could really be 'in love' with their partner, despite the huge betrayal and all. In love, of maybe just infatuated, loving getting all that attention and their ego stroked. Cheating would have more of an affect of the dynamics of the relationship. If the one who got cheated on can bare to continue being emotionally invested in someone who lost their trust, and showed they may not be taking the relationship and any monogamy tied to it quite so seriously.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Love is an action and a state of being. In the moment of cheating you cease to care about the emotions of your partner and proceed to indulge in it. To me that doesn't sound like a loving action. So I say no you didn't love them. You can change and begin to love your partner again but you made your actions and have no choice but to accept the resulting consequences. When you stop caring for the things important to you you often damage and lose them. That's just life. Deal with it. But to address your situation specifically just because your ex cheated on her current guy doesn't mean she wants you back or that she's still in love with you. She's your ex now. Focus on yourself and stop filling your life's holes with her. Trust me I've been there. Even if she comes back it won't be because she suddenly realized she actually loved you she'll only be coming back because she couldn't find something else. You'll feel like garbage and she'll treat you like garbage. Just let it go move on and go focus on you.

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What Girls Said 69

  • NO NO NO! If they truly loved the person, they wouldn't have cheated. in my opinion because it causes so much damage to the person who was cheated on. You don't destroy people you love. The person who was cheated on could have some serious trust issues and other issues with relationships now that they have been cheated on. It literally destroys people and makes them insecure in relationships. Not cool!

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  • No definitely not. That's not love.

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  • what? NOPE !!! how can it be called love if you cheat on a person?

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    • If it's just physical cheating then their may be some true love then.

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    • They are yours and u are theirs

    • @marquisao i 100% agree!!! a lot of people don't know the importance of having a SO in their lives

  • nope, that is not love.
    And anyway, it is impossible to "love" someone after only 2 weeks of dating. It's probably not even exclusive by then. so maybe it isn't even cheating. I highly doubt that anyone will proclaim love and an exclusive relationship after so little time.

    even IF they are in love, cheaters have an innate insecurity which they need to cover up with cheating. it boosts their ego apparently. If that is the case with her, good luck to the guy...

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    • I disagree miss its not impossible to fall in love two weeks some people fall in love to quick because they have puppy love and its possible nothing is impossible.

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    • That's a good way to put it the word to me means you supposed to sacrifice for the person meaning letting go certain friends and spending time with the one who you are so call in love with and sacrifice things that gives you more time to spend time with your lover cherish every moment together and enjoy each other company help one another split things 50/50 both should be Truthful to each other not afraid to share secrets with one another be each other best friends Both being faithful to one another and just enjoying life and living it to the fullest.

    • @Kilik147 almost! You don't have to sacrifice anything if it is the right person and it is a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Of course one's free time for friends gets reduced, but never sacrifice a friendship over your SO. Make time for both! Don't sacrifice your hobbies either. It is important that both still have their own things, friends, activities, interests etc.

  • No, I don't think so, though I don't really believe you can be in love with someone 2 weeks after dating anyway. But I don't think you can truly love someone if you cheat on them.

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  • My first thought was this: after two weeks of what, exactly? Two weeks of dating does not necessarily constitute a relationship. People can date for months or even years without ever becoming exclusive. Maybe one person thought they were locked in as couple, and the other person truly just thought they were going out on dates with each other--enjoying each other's company but still free to see other people? Because in that event, it wouldn't really be cheating.

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    • Well in this situation she went away to his house for a holiday cause he lives 14 hours away stayed there for 2 weeks came back home made it official with him (remind you those 2 weeks are the only time they have actually hung out) but he isn't here he moves down in a month or so and so she goes out and does the wrong on him but she tells me she's happy with him and loves him. She was also telling me she loved me before she went on that holiday of hers now she's cut all ties with me a girl I was with for 3 years has all of sudden been like nah don't love you now I don't understand it

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    • Yeah she sucks at controlling her emotions I've just gotta learn now to stay away from her cause she doesn't want me to help so she'll learn the hard way and then she will probably come back to me saying she wants this to work again...

    • Probably best to cut her loose and move on, then... sorry to hear that. :(

  • Some people don't even consider themselves in a relationship after 2 weeks of dating.. and love? Are you kidding or something.. how can you love someone in 2 fucking weeks? 😑😑

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    • That's what my stupid ex thinks not me she thinks she loves him and is happy with this new guy but yet has already cheated on him and how can't you think your in a relationship after two weeks? If you have said yes to Being in one with someone that is where it starts

    • Yup.. she is nuts..

  • You cannot be in love after 2 weeks in the first place. Whoever tells you otherwise are insane.

    Your ex is a slut. Why are you dwelling on this?

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    • Not exactly dwelling on it just like to hear people's opinions about it that's all..

  • No.

    First off, I don't think you can be in love with someone after two weeks.

    Second, no, cheating means you're not committed and you don't respect the othrr person's commitment to you.

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  • Perhaps they can, but I think what mostly happens (in long term/serious relationship at least) is that the cheater used to be in love with the person but aren't anymore and that's just a lie they tell themselves and the victim so they don't feel like the human garbage they are. Love is about respect, and if you cheat on a person. The cheater must not love them very much because they obviously don't respect them or their relationship with them enough to call it off before their eyes start to wander.

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  • No no no no no. Not only did you describe being in love with someone but you also described being unfaithful after two weeks.

    Is it possible to love someone and cheat on them? Yes.
    Is it possible to be IN love with someone and cheat on them? No.

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    • I just read your update.

      Your ex has some issues and undesirable traits I would not want in a SO. People tend to cheat for a few different reasons. I think the reason for your ex is that she doesn't view sex with someone other then her partner as cheating. Some people unfortunately don't see sex as cheating if there is no emotional attachment behind it.

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    • Yeah well she wants me to stay away from her even though all I have done is be there for her so I have no choice in the matter anyways... She thinks she needs time to sort her life out and I'm not gonna be involved in her problems because she's going down a bad path right now in life so I've gotta move on from her

    • I hope she's able to overcome what's going on in her life and become a better person. I wish you the best of luck in your next relationship as well. :)

  • After two weeks of dating them, you're probably not in love with them. Run, dude. She's a lost cause.

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  • I think you've already answered your own question. What do you think?
    "Can you actually be in love with someone if after two weeks of dating them"
    *pause* love is a very big word and an even bigger affection. Use it wisely. It wouldn't be present in your relationship after two weeks.
    *continue*
    "If you have already cheated on them."
    If at fourteen days into the relationship with someone you claim to love you've already gone off with someone else on the side then I'd probably say no. No, you are not in love. No. Not even close.

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  • You can but not in the way they deserve to be loved. Maybe the cheater feels infatuation at most but not the love of putting their partner's needs first instead of your own and not betraying them in one of the worst way possible.

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  • She's not too smart is she? Men will use you if you let them, and she doesn't get it. She has to respect herself more rather than sleeping with lots of men or hooking up and that's not YOUR problem.

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    • I know it shouldn't be my problem just hard letting go that's all...

  • 2 weeks? They're probably not in love yet. But its possible they made a mistake... Maybe they do care about the person they cheated on, but they weren't super committed so they don't feel they were wrong...

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    • Cheating is not a mistake.. its a choice...

    • I'm with @singlebee on this one.
      It doesn't really matter how long you have been together whether it would be a day or an eternity. From the very the relationship starts you are dedicated to that person. You may not 'love' them but the keyword is dedication and loyalty to that person.

  • No, love and cheating are worlds apart. Where there's one, the other definitely shouldn't be present. She doesn't love the guy, she's rebounding big time.

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  • No because its so easy for u to brake their trust and hurt them to the point of feeling used not worthy if u love some one u would do he best to protect them so that they don't have to feel hurt or broken

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  • There aren't enough bullets in the world...

    Actually, there might be.

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  • I don't think so, no.

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  • I think the real question is can you really be in love with someone if you've only been together for 2 weeks

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  • No there's no way u love them if u did that that's makes it seem like u a player and u just used them

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  • I think cheating doesn't have to do with how much you love someone it just means they don't know how to be faithful

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  • If you really loved them you would put them ahead of the other person and respect them enough to not do something that would hurt them. But there is always going to be somebody that you are attracted to even though you are already dating someone, it's what you do with that that matters. It's really about who you find yourself thinking ofwhen it's quiet or 3 am and you're about to fall asleep.

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  • Generally speaking one is not in love with one's partner after two weeks of dating to begin with, however, cheating is never a good sign.

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  • Love = total self delusion
    Sex = a physical need/release

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  • Of course not. When you really love someone you don't even think about anybody else, in fact if you were to try to cheat you automatically couldn't because nobody else can replace that person.

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  • NO! you deserve someone better!

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  • First, it's pretty hard to truly be in love with someone after 2 weeks of dating. but beyond that, imho, not only do you not love the person you cheated on but also don't love yourself.

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  • NOPE!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Are you seriously asking that? Cheating doesn't have anything to do with love and love is not cheating. Cheating is not love. If you cheat on someone or have feelings for someone else while in a relationship, if course you don't love them! And it's like impossible to forgive cheating

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What Guys Said 55

  • I've seen this question sitting there for a while and just now clicked on it. I thought I had an idea of an answer before I read the text. Once I read the text my answer is completely different.

    You were only dating for two weeks, so she is not your girlfriend (even if you think she is). If she is not your girlfriend then it's not possible for her to cheat. She can date anyone she wants.

    When I read the update, it just reinforces this opinion. You might have "stuck with her" for months, but she is not your girlfriend and never has been.

    I know this is harsh if you think you love her. But stop thinking of her as your girlfriend. She's not. She's out playing around and you are just another guy. Forget about her. She is not your girlfriend. She does not love you. She never has loved you. You are nothing to her. You don't have to break up with her, because you were never going together in the first place. Walk away and forget her. The sooner you do it, the sooner you'll get over it.

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    • I know she isn't my girlfriend I've accepted it even though it's hard too just like I've said in any replies i don't like seeing someone that I was with for such a long time ruin there life not just by this but by other things aswel but I also know I can't help her so I'm moving on...

  • i think so yes. Unfortunately sometimes we don't treat the things we love properly though right? I mean a kid can love a toy and leave it somewhere. A person can love a piece of clothing and still wear it out.

    now that doesn't mean that the cheating is ok, because they love the person. It just means they don't necessarily know how to treat the object of their love correctly

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    • and just to make comparisons that aren't of material goods... we sometimes make mistakes in our relationships with our parents (and our parents with us) it doesn't mean that there isn't love there

  • Let me first say that I am very much against cheating.

    It's gonna sound controversial but I do think that people can still love that person when they cheat on them. When we say “That's not love” we actually mean that it is not how love is suppose to be. And I agree with that. But to be more accurate is that lust got in the way love.

    Being “in love” is not the same thing as “love”. Love is much more a bond with somebody. Being “in love” is more about the butterflies, saying sweet things & lust. Sorry to say, they maybe in love but don't think too much of it. And it's not love yet. It's much too early for that.

    As a tip I say that you should try to put it behind you. Often when one person sends another through hell it means that one person has invested a whole lot more than the other. Not only your hart but also your ego as been hurt. That makes it hurt extra. It can also lead to obsessive thoughts. You will try to understand what and why she doing things which actually leads to more obsessive behavior.

    Try to steer yourself in another way. I understand it's so much easier said than done. Try not to think why she is with him or why she is doing that. It will drive you nuts. Think about how you are better off now and what new things the world has to offer you.

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    • Yeah I'm trying my best to not think about the whole situation and get past it I know I will eventually just takes time especially when I know she's with another guy... Shittest feeling

  • One thing I learned (the hard way) when re-entering the dating world later in life, is that you can't just assume you have an exclusive dating relationship. I had always approach dating as committing to one person at a time. Until you both agree to be exclusive, you just can't assume that you are. Now, if you've agreed to be exclusive, if not stick around with someone that can't honor that. No matter how much we feel we care about them and want to retionalize around it, if they can't bring themselves to be exclusive in deed, it's time to move on.

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  • Hmm thats kind of a grey area. But I don't think that should take away from their actions they still are accountable since people cheat all the damn time

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  • There are different types of love so she could mean"as a friend" 💀 but I'd say yes. But in this situation and they mean "love" as in bae, then nahhhh I wouldn't trust it AT ALL. And if someone ever says that to u after they pulled something like that then I say forgot them as a friend too bc if no friend is going to lie to you and make you doubt yourself even more about what you did wrong. Real friends will tell u straight up, "I don't love you anymore" then they can't be trusted. SO IN CONCLUSION, MY ANSWER IS, NO, THEY cannot be in love with u if they CHEATED NOT EVEN BREAKING UP FIRST💀

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  • No. Regardless of your opinion of what love is it includes a component of not wanting to hurt what you love.

    If you cheat on someone they will inevitably be hurt by it.

    If you know this and still cheat then you have confused some other feeling with love or lied to yourself, you do not love them.

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  • No that is not love if you cheat on them that's lust for the person who you been messing around with and this what I don't understand what's the point of getting with someone you supposedly say you like and end up stabbing that person in the back that's cheating and plain disrespectful certain males make it hard for us gentlemen talk to women because they become so insecure and have trust issues with people over this situation.

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  • It can happen.
    Horny persons losing control of his/her sexual feelings when drunk and cheating then can still love their partner. An ex did that a few times. I wasn't angry the first two times because -being a guy- I understood her problem.
    A guy can easily separate sex from sentiment if sex is offered. (my ex showed that some drunk girls too can separate both.)
    When it became a pattern I let her go without anger.

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  • I keep seeing this post on my feed and it irrates me, how in the hell can you possibly be in love with someone and then cheat on them... it makes absolutely no sense to me

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  • No man. The way I see it, if you love someone then that automatically means you respect that person, by breaking that line of respect you are already proving you don't love them. It sounds very simple to me.

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  • That's not possible. No way it can happen, if there is true love, then it's impossible. They will never even think about cheating on each other.

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  • NO, you cannot. If someone is a cheating piece of shit, the only care about themselves. I knew my ex wife 30 days before going into the military. ANYONE can get laid coming out of basic. I turned down 7 women. In 25 years I never cheated on her...

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  • It is possible to cheat on someone you love. It is also possible -- more likely -- to cheat on someone you don't love. Cheating is like crime - people sometimes do things they think they can get away with, lured by the possibility of reward. It is also a selfish thing; people who cheat don't care that someone they love might get hurt, or about maintaining their relationship.

    But it can be complicated.

    I was in a situation once where I was tempted and curious. Even though I didn't cheat, I think the temptation lead to the eventual collapse of the relationship. In retrospect, if I did give in only once, I might still be with the person I loved.

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  • after 2 weeks of dating I wouldn't talk of "love"... he/she was interested but to really love someone it needs more time.

    to answer you question in general... I think it's possible. if you have been married for many years and you love everything about them... but you sex life is not fulfilling, it's so bad that it frustrates you extremely and makes you unhappy... then I think it's possible that people get that from someone else and cheat even though they love their partner. I'm NOT saying that this is a good or the right thing to do, just that I think it exists.

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    • guess this will get me some downvotes lol

  • to put it bluntly.. no

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  • You can't really be in love with someone after 2 weeks of dating period. by the way it's not cheating unless you lie about it. You see a girl a couple of times, you have sex, she has sex with someone else it's not cheating unless she told you she wouldn't or told you she didn't.

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  • No. If you love someone you'd think about how this person would feel if you did something like that. If you dont, that means you dont care and that means you dont love her.

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  • I think it is possible as different people see sex in different ways. The thing though, is that other person might not see it the same way. THEN you have a big problem.

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  • No, you can't. When you cheat you don't love.

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  • Most definitely not, that would mean they don't really care about you.

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  • Common sense says no

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  • I don't think real love can develop that quickly. So if someone cheats that early in a relationship, I highly doubt they love you. But even if they remain loyal, I still highly doubt they truly love you just yet. They are getting to know you still.

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  • No, if you'd so willingly cheat on your SO then did you really even love them in the first place?

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  • you can love someone and cheat on them yes - but after two weeks, not so sure about that one

    Sounds more like buyers remorse and lust

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  • I have no doubt there are some mixed up folks in the world who THINK this is possible, but I say no way. If you loved 'em, ya wouldn't cheat.

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  • no probably not

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  • A whore is a whore is a whore, anon. Stop having expectations of her, she's the equivalent of a breathing fleshlight. I'd bet money she did the same to you too.

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    • Yeah she did when I was away for work 2 years ago but I stayed with her

  • You would hear about women who cheat because the sex is lacking, but they sitll love their husband/boyfriend. So subjectively speaking, it's possible. I call bs on that, though.

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  • You may be twitterpated or infatuated, but true love (being in love) takes years to develop, so I would say no.

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