Are men who identify as sexists insecure?

Why do you think sexist men behave the way they do?

Girls, would a guy who identified himself as a sexist immediately turn you off in terms of dates? (I know it would me!)

Guys, probably having a better insight into the male psyche, why do you think guys behave in a sexist way?

When I say sexist, I do not mean the belief that men are better at some things and perform tasks such as physical tasks better.

I mean, men who patronize women and believe all women to be the same: inferior, needy, jealous etc.

I work with this guy, he tells me he is a sexist - that is very off-putting. He can't come up with any reasons for his claims, he just laughed and told me men are more logical than women.

I'm open to debate and asked him to back up his claims with examples:

He just said: "Don't worry about it sweetheart, you'll understand when you're older."

I told him: "That's not a good counter-argument"

He said: "See, like you women get all het up over stupid things. Women feel men think, there's your answer." And then he just continued laughing.

Obviously he's an idiot, but he's getting a promotion soon so perhaps this attitude does help people to advance.

He always calls me sugar lips, sweetheart, sugar baby etc, even though I've asked him not to. He also flirts with me incessantly even though I'm not interested. Worst thing is, he is only 28 and I am 23!

What is the psychology behind these kinds of men? Insecurity? What?

He has a huge ego but is it to make up for his own insecurities? I know I am smarter than him but he still annoys me.

I know the only way to deal with it is ignore him and don't give him the attention he seeks, but I would like to know why he behaves this way. His father is probably the same, but in terms of psychology, why do men act like this?

I'm sure lots of sexist men are successful, but do you think they can truly be happy and enjoy full relationships with any women?


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What Guys Said 1

  • A guy like that doesn't deserve interaction or contact with women. Being sexist isn't something a man should be proud of and flaunt around. It's a serious problem, and if a man is sexist, he should be defensive and denying it, or getting his ass beat. I'm not accusing you of lying, but your story doesn't make any sense. This idiot should be living under a rock. Women aren't as intelligent as men? That's a load of crap. Not to mention he has a very important WOMAN to thank for his pitiful self-loving life: his mother. We wouldn't even continue as a species without women, that's a very credible head nod to them. The problem with 'equality' is an individual's own definition of the word. I believe that women, in general, are far more intelligent and COMPETENT, in anything, than men. (aside from sperm, obviously. Big whoop, dudes.) Granted, there are a lot of women with cobwebs in their head, who may be subject to manipulation and not even realize it. However, it goes without saying that there are a great deal MORE men who couldn't find snow in a blizzard. It does go both ways. But, if you think about it, that's equal. There's smart, competent, successful, and caring women, as well as men. Just as there are ditz women, and doofus dudes. But unfortunately, there's too many assholes like the one in your story. It seems like he's doing what so many men I've seen do: exercise their power of annoyance. Letting him know he bothers you gives him power. If you don't let him get to you, he will hopefully get bored and move on. It's the same advice I give to girls who complain about exes who don't leave them alone. Don't get frustrated. Keep a calm head, and don't let him bother you, and he should back off. Honestly, though, it doesn't sound like this idiot will get the picture. For how intelligent and smarmy he claims to be, he's a real jerk. I hope things go well, and wish you luck with your unlucky situation. Hopefully with his promotion, his primitive guy instincts will kick in, and he'll choke on a chicken bone.

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    • Thanks - I hope so too. I'm not lying, but perhaps I should have made clear that his family are from a Middle Eastern country - even so though - it's 2010.

      Furthermore, he doesn't seem like a particularly happy guy, despite his claims that he is. He often remarks: "I'm happy" and "life's great". Nobody's life is perfect and I'm a generally happy person, therefore I don't need to articulate this to others.

      I have much more respect for guys who can respect women i.e. have maturity.

    • I wouldn't like to say women are more competent than men as it could be construed as reverse sexist, but from my observation women certainly are no less.

      About this guy, you're right, he really loves attention and I think the best way to shut him down is to not comment and hope to God he doesn't end up as my boss.

    • I wouldn't doubt that he isn't happy. He doesn't deserve it. And you're absolutely right, nobody has a perfect life. One of my oldest relatives always told me 'It is impossible to go through life completely on your own.' And please, don't sell yourself or women short. It isn't reverse sexist to believe strongly in whatever you do, or CAN do. I'm sure the word sexist was invented exclusively for us. lol We're the main problem. You go for gold! :)

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