Is it an unforgiveable thing to lie to my boyfriend of 10 months about my age?

I have been dating this guy for about 10 months, everything was going smoothly. We had two holiday together, I met all his family and we are planning to meet my family oversea next year. We met through an on line dating site and I have put on the online profile as 4 years younger than my real age. However, I only just confessed to him 2 weeks ago and he was shocked and lost for words. I have apologied countless times and explained I did it out of my own insecruity and not to hurt him.

He had a few bad relationship before and all his previous partner has lied to him, so I guess I had hit the raw nerve. At moment, he said he does not know whether he wants to continue our relationship or not. He does not seem to want to discuss or talk about it and I am lost and confused. I really like him and will like to get some advice as how shall I do to get him to talk to me/ decide what he wants to do - continueing and work on the problem or to finish it. Please help!

  • Yes
    28% (5)41% (7)34% (12)Vote
  • No
    11% (2)6% (1)9% (3)Vote
  • It's not a good thing but it's understandable
    56% (10)47% (8)51% (18)Vote
  • It's not a big deal, most people lie about something
    5% (1)6% (1)6% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Thank you all for giving me your opinion. I am deeply regretful for what I did. It is completely my own insecurity lead me to lie about my age. I found myself couldn't even say the real age out loud to my friends and acquaintances. It's sad I know & I am trying to overcome it. I don't lie about any other things and I am trueful in the relationship.
I am grateful that he has gotten back to me and forgiven me. From now on I am going to try my very best to be honest and loving.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say it's unforgivable that you lied about your age. But the thing is if age means a lot to him that could be a big deal to him. However it turns out the decision to stick around is up to him. You have apologized to him and he needs time to process the whole thing and make his decision. He knows now so if I were you I'd give him time and not keep trying to drive the point.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh please, isn't men the reason why women feel the need to lie about their age? This is something a lot of women do. He should get over it.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Why do such a pointless thing? 4 years was not even worth it. 4 years is nothing. This was gratuitious lying. How can he trust you with anything now?
    I fear you are going to have to give him space and time. He's the one who can decide your fate. The only thing you could do is to explain to him why you did it and how you felt when you did

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  • Although its a harmless lie, it says a lot about your character. If you can lie about that, what else can you lie about? I'd find it hard to trust you.

    PS: I find this weird because this is like the 5th question I've seen on here involving a girl who lied about her age. Is this something common?

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  • Lying about your age? Come on!!! Are you in high school or what? You definitely should know better. I'm certainly NOT saying high school students SHOULD do it, but typically they are the ones who do - usually to get into a bar or buy alcohol. As far as forgiving you, I suppose I can forgive you. But any lying after that would be hard to forgive, because apparently you haven't learned your lesson of lying.

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  • The main thing I would be concerned with is why you felt the need to lie... i'd need to get into her head and see why she would do that (ex. insecurity about scaring me off, etc.)

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  • give him space, he will eventually understand. I wouldn't hold that against a woman too long

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  • Only if you're so young that the relationship can possibly lead to him being convicted as a sex offender.

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  • Lies become more frequent, and bigger. Once you lie once, you will continue to lie and it'll get more serious

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  • At your age, that can be the difference between having kids or not. Kind of a big deal.

    Aside from the whole honesty principle under question...

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What Girls Said 4

  • Give him space to figure things out. Not much else you can do.

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  • I don't have any real advice to work on this except to try and regain his trust.

    The issue why lying about your age, name or anything so simple is such a big deal to people is because there is no telling what else they have lied about.

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  • i've lied about my age to boys before or let them continue to assume i'm a certain age (more than 7 years younger than my actual age) so i understand. it's bad though.

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  • You shouldn't lie about something obvious as your age. The truth will come out at one point.

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