We almost got married, was he asking for too much?

I have really mixed feeling and I don’t know what to do. A little over a year ago I met my now boyfriend. Immediately we just clicked and became an item right away. He is charming, intelligent, attractive, educated and an all around great guy. He is younger than me he's 23 (I'm 32). In the beginning of our relationship he told me that he doesn't plan on getting married, and he is going to enjoy our relationship. At first I was confused why he would say this, but didn't think too much of it as I didn't think our relationship would get as serious as it is now. He is the first boyfriend I've ever been with that I can see a future with, I really love him and I know he loves me. One day I would like to have a big wedding, so a couple days ago I confronted him about this. We got into a big argument, and basically he told me it wouldn't work out because of our age difference, and that there are a lot of things he hasn't done that he wants to do before settling down. Things got heated and he left saying he needs to think about us. Later that night he finally came home and told me if I wanted to get married there would be conditions, first he asked me how many sexual partners I've had, and to tell him all the things I've done with my ex's. In return he would do the same, my number was much larger than his (He's had 3 partners and hasn't done much ) and I've pretty much done everything. As I told him this I could see it really hurt him but I couldn't lie to him if I tried, afterwords he told me if we did all those things and more times than my ex's he would marry me. I told him I'm not that kind of girl anymore, he responded saying he couldn't go on knowing someone who didn't mean anything to me got a part of me he will never have, that someone else will always have a better exciting sex life with me than him. I told him I couldn't do that, and he said then we aren't getting married. He later broke it off with me and I'm devastated. Was he asking for too much?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he wasn't, he's perfectly right. You can't deny your future husband what you have already granted to your youth lovers.
    That being said, I don't think he would have kept his promise and got married with you if you did it. I think he simply wanted to use the opportunity to get some crazy sex.

    So, he's right but not sincere.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I won't say he's wrong because he has a point. When you think about it you did it for someone who you weren't married to but you won't do it for someone who wants to marry you. Then again he's also a jerk for asking you to do something you're not comfortable with anymore. Obviously if your number is way higher than 3 you were not thinking clearly so why think clearly now. I say do it and see what happens after all you've done it before.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • he is not the right guy, dump him and move on!