Am I being unreasonable with my girlfriend?

My girlsfriend and I had a disccusion, the whole guy friend thing which I dont mind even though I hate them all like any boyfriend would. I dont care that she hangs out with them (I do but I won't tell her that) and its fine if they hang out and shit but she thinks its okay to let her guy friends grab her ass which I told her I was obviously not okay with. I understand she's been single for a LOOONG time and getting into a relationship is a bit of a big change..

She said she wouldn't do it anymore but that she started to say that I was being unreasonable and wayy to jealous. I think that a guy grabbing her ass is very disrespectfull to me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think that is unreasonable, but I also don;'t think every man has a problem with his girlfriend having male friends. If he is insecure in his relationship then yes, but that's an issue you should work on yourself so you don't encounter issues in the future.

    • I'm not insecure but I know how mens minds work most of these guys probably wanna get in her pants... and this is a fact

    • Show All
    • I still don't get why you'd do that in that way.

    • I dont know either I have been lineant cause I'm her first real boyfriend (that she takes home ect) soo I'll just see how it plays out

Most Helpful Guy

  • Its not unreasonable for you to be concerned that she isn't taking YOUR feelings into consideration. There's nothing wrong with a woman having guy friends, and vice-versa, but there is an issue when that party cannot understand where "the line" is and at what point they cross it, particularly in the eyes of their partner.

    Talk to her, as working yourself into apoplexy will likely give her and her friends the excuse needed to paint you as a "problem boyfriend," a control freak (though understand that I am not calling you one). Talk to her, be blunt and honest, and see where her head's at, or if she's even open to the discussion.

    If she's willing to talk, then there isn't an issue. But if she isn't willing, I'd consider the possibility of dumping her. Because if she isn't willing to empathize with you and your feelings, then their isn't much foundation to build anything lasting upon.

    Its a communication and respect issue, as well as one of -- as @MargaritaPeach put it -- common human decency.


What Girls Said 2

  • Not unreasonable... everyone on the planet should understand that you don't grab an @$$ that's already 'taken'. That's basic human decency.

    And by 'taken', people, I'm not implying he owns her. Let's not head down that road.

    • yeah she used that argument on me too I hate that shit

  • it was not unreasonable at all!!! i mean its not alright to let any guys grab you when you are in a relationship (even if you are not since you are not a piece of meat)... and her ass ain't public property!!!


What Guys Said 3

  • No that is not unreasonable at all. that is not how guy-girl friends work... I usually stand up for that kinf friendship as two of my best friends are girls- and I can tell you we would never behave in such a way, especially if one of us were dating someone.

    This guy wants her, and she likely knows it and is used to the attention from multiple guys being single and all. Let me tall you, if she can't comprehend that it is wrong or that this is upsetting you and you are not being unreasonable about it- and STILL does not do anything about it, run for the hills friend, because I very much doubt she is ready for a relationship...

    • yeah I see your point and I told her "hey if you want that kinda shit to be happening then you're better off being single" and she replied she would stop

    • alright then, good for standing up for yourself. Just avoid ultimatum language, even if that is what is and not saying you did here, just a tip.

      all you can do now is wait and see if she really does change. But don't obsess or try and find out for yourself, it is dangerous, but the best route is to just assume she meant what she said and is not doing that anymore. AKA you need to show her you trust her, among actually trusting her or else this is doomed. good luck sir.

    • No no I def trust her. she's a good person but she's inexperienced in relationships and the whole killing someone or dump is a joke we have, she doesn it to me too. Kinda like "let's avoid an argument with a joke thing"

      I won't stalk her I know she will keep her word , she always does. but I already covered the what I'm not okay withs with guy friends

  • Yes you're right. And if that continues, just break up and get another one. There are more women than men on earth. At the end of the day if she acts like she dont care about how you feel, tell her to get out of your sight and forget her.

  • Disrespectful to you and to her. A bro to another bro. Dump her. She is not one you want to date. If she is letting them grab her ass and she seems nothing wrong with it then u know that anything can happen. Personally I wouldn't date a girl who does that. I don't date to stress. I have a girl and she hangs out with guys but she lets me know and usually it's for her class stuff. Anyway good luck mate

    • well she did agree to not let it happen anymore and she was the one who told me this happened. it's not like I found out by seing it or anything she asked me "are you okay with this? " and i was like "nope I would probably kill the guy and dump your ass" this is a joke we always play the whole killing someone but then she said I was being unreasonable because girls grab my ass too and i said that its 100% not the same thing and she asked me to ask my friends to stop grabbing my ass too so I said "fair enough" and that was the end of it for now

    • Oh gotcha gotcha. Well man. Should have put that in the context as well lol. Anyway. Good luck

    • lets see how it goess