Okay! So ill try and makes this long story short. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.7 years and have an AMAZING relationship. he is everything I want in a guy.. I can see myself marrying him. I love him. However something has been bothering me. My boyfriend lives 30 minutes away from, and he usually comes and drives up to see me. Unfortunately I do not have a license, and the subway in my area is a little unsafe for me to travel alone. however because I feel bad to have my boyfriend drive back and forth all the time I always suggest to him that I want to try and take the subway to come and see him. He refuses however because he knows it is unsafe and he is afraid to let me on the subway alone. I listened to him because I myself would feel uncomfortable, however I would be willing to do it either way. Today I was at his house for lunch, he had cousins who came from brazil and I wantd to show my respects and take them out to a city attraction. His aunt and cousins were lovely and my boyfriend did pick me up and then drop me back home after. However during lunch my boyfriend went to pick up milk for his mom and I was left there alone with her. The moment he left she turned to me adn said "You know me and L**** (his sister) has been trying to convince him to let you take the subway down.. there is nothing unsafe about it and you need to become independent. What if you had a job downtown? how would you get there? Hunny you can't keep depending on people to drive you" It struck me... it rubbed me the wrong way. I felt like she was trying to send a message across by telling me to stop using her son as the only means to make the effort to come. I asked my boyfriend (without mentioning what his mom said) about how he felt taking me home and whether or not he wanted me to make the same effort coming up to see him. he told me i was overthinking and its his pleasure taking me and bringing me. What do i do with this? I feel unsure and upset about it.
Most Helpful Guy
Well, she is just seeing how he is putting out all the time and expense to get you and she may be starting to think you are a "princess" or something. I think you are right about the subway and you are better off being safe than sorry. No body on this planet has a 100% perfect relationship with their in-laws, no body! They all say things from time to time that just pisses you off! This is one of those times. Just bite your lip, smile and forget about it.0
Most Helpful Girl
whatever agreement you and your boyfriend have about who drives where is up to you two.
don't over think it, his mom seems to be a straigh forward person and was honest enough to adress her concerns to you directly. I assume you can have an honest and adult conversation with her then. Just tell her that you know this is how it looks, that you have wanted to take the subway but her son asked you not to because he would worry too much. That you two have talked about it and you wish she didn't have the false impression that you were taking advantage of him.
But, she did bring up a valid pointh though, what if you DO get a job where you have to take the subway? Your boyfriend will have to live with that. Maybe it is time to get your drivers licence and start saving up for a car?0