Why do some of us fall for someone that doesn't reciprocate the same feelings that we feel for them?

The women that I've been trying to get to know and date don't feel the same as I feel for them. Do we usually go for someone that doesn't like us back on a constant basis? I feel like I'm looking in the wrong places lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • Because we don't like someone BECAUSE they like us

    • ? I don't understand

    • When we like someone we like them for who they are and how they make us feel, not because they like us. Whether or not they feel the same is irrelevant

Most Helpful Guy

  • In most cases what you like won't like you back, it has nothing to do with "looking in the wrong places or wrong kinds of girls". It's just life.

    I particularly like Latina women, and I daresay I know more about Latin American and Mexican history than most, and I speak Spanish; and know all about Spanish musical idioms all the way from Flamenco to old school Spanish Jota to Cumbia to Tex-Mex, even classical stuff like Granados, Albeniz, Manitas de Plata, Segovia etc.; artists like Diego Rivera and Picasso, poets like Garcia-Lorca and Pablo Neruda - and even know how low riders employ hydraulics in their caruchas (having had a Mexican business associate help me meet some low-riders who were only too glad to show off), But for some reason, I have NEVER had a Latina woman ever like me, in fact, most kind of despise me, perhaps they think that me being White I am from the oppressor class or racist or something, or hear that American White men have been feminized? There is no blame there, they are entitled to be ignorant of the real truth, this is America. But even if they were NOT ignorant of my experiences and the real me, the chemistry STILL has to be there.

    So truth be told the reciprocal feelings type relationship happens very rarely with most people, perhaps only 2-3 times in your entire life, sometimes more, sometimes never. Just keep keepin' on, and eventually you will run into the mutual-type situation.

    • Great point! And hands down you most certainly know more about the Spanish culture than I do and I'm Hispanic lmao but it's funny that you mention about the Spanish women not liking you because I also like a certain type of women but I feel like they don't like me back because I'm hispanic. But yeah, I hear you about the mutual feelings.

What Girls Said 2

  • It's kind of messed up. Most of the time we (boys and girls) go after the people who don't like us or are already taken and ignore the ones that do like us and are free. I guess the fact that we can't have them makes them more appealing and then we try to get them.

    • Yup, that sums up the saying "having what we can't have".

    • And yeah, it can be a little messed up because people can want to talk to someone that is taken already

  • Possible reasons why this may happen to you:
    Low self worth
    Wanting what you can not have
    Feeling needy
    Rushing in a relationship too soon
    Not getting to know the person
    In love with the thought of being in love

    • Ohhh I don't have low self esteem lol nor am I insecure. I would agree with the rushing into a relationship too soon though.

    • Show All
    • Well you asked a question so I answered it
      I merely gave a list of possibilities
      This website is for opinions

    • Hahaha and I took them into consideration

What Guys Said 3

  • Perhaps you are jumping in too quickly and that scares them away?

    • I started to wonder that today. I should really try to slow down lol

  • Love is blind.

  • Because it ultimately comes down to physical attraction. Sometimes, it just isn't there, even if the emotional connection is there

    • True but sometimes the emotional connection makes the person even more attractive. But I get where you're coming from about both