He keeps saying "i love you" after 3 dates... and knowing me for 3 weeks now... is it bad news?

i haven't slept with him

we only made out

but he keeps telling me i love u, and calls me baby, and i love you from the bottom of my heart, and is talking about future plans...

do i run from this guy?

Updates:
UPDATE::::: so after taking all your feedback which i am thankful for so much, initially i did not trust him anymore and i called him out on being a sexual predator and being a fake liar and he became distant from me in text messaging, seemed like he was losing interest because he didn't like the fighting

but, i gave him one more date and he was actually really decent, romantic and perfect he gets how i felt and now he respects me for not wanting sex... so were cool again and dating is great
he texts me that he misses me all the time

he said he doesn't like fighting and that i dont believe in love like he does...

and he doesn't act like a pervert anymore

may be he was a player but because i didn't sleep with him he has fallen for me cause i am different from other girls

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He might be playing you. Or he might mean it. Some guys can fall in love very quickly. Women can too, but I think it's a lot more common with guys. So it may be legit.

    Even if it's legit, I think it still raises a red flag. Red flag doesn't mean anything is wrong for sure. It just means watch out. Even if he means it, is it a sign of some emotional issues? Is he latching on for dear life to the first girl who gives him the time of day? That's not necessarily bad, but it's something to look deeper into.

    One thing I think is kind of weird though, is that he's voicing it. I can fall for someone very quickly myself. I've had it happen before. But I would never say it that fast. For one thing it might freak her out. But mainly I'd want to double check myself. It's all well and good to have strong feelings. But as a realist, I know I don't really know her very well yet.

    If I'm going to accept her, I need to accept her warts and all. After that much time I haven't even seen the warts yet. I'd want to pull back until I knew the whole package, not just the bit that caught my attention right from the start.

    So when somebody actually voices it that quickly it makes me wonder. I'd want to look deeper. I've heard about people who got married within days of meeting, and stayed married for years. I've personally known people who married within a few months and stayed married. However that's pretty wild. It might be romantic in some ways, but most people are going to be more prudent than that.

    I'd just continue day by day and see what's up. See how more time plays out. Look deeper into it without reading too deep into things that aren't there. Then use your own judgement. If everything is cool then great. If something is wrong, play it by ear and see if it's worth continuing, or something you need to run away from fast.

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    • i keep accusing him of being a player and call him out on it... and he's like i love you i wanna marry u... and he just turns it into a joke. i said i dont love u and barely know u. and he said lol.
      and then he's like i miss u baby i wanna see u tomorrow and i dunno somethins not adding up he's not being serious. he doesn't even ask me how my day went or how my job is or personal questions.

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    • yes i want it to work =[ i dont know why

    • Read the book " Why Men Love Bitches." W/e Game he is playing or not.. put yourself first decide what you want in your life! :) If you decide you wanna be with this guy watch " Decisions on love" Video by tony Robbins. and DONT have sex with him.. untill you want.. saying "I love you" is not enough of a reason to just sleep with a guy! good luck girl!

Most Helpful Girl

  • not necessarily... he may be serious when saying it... personally I believe love takes time to grow on you.. maybe he is confusing lust with love? to me personally, you don't LOVE someone within 1minute of meeting them, 1day of meeting them, 1week of meeting them or even 1month of meeting them.. these are all feelings of lust.. i believe it takes a minimum of 3-6 months before any true emotions begin to arise...

    Are you his first ever girlfriend by any chance? are you in a serious relationship or just a relationship? how old is he? does he have insecurity issues or maybe suffer from anxiety or depression etc?

    I do find it quite odd that he continuously voices it, as often men don't verbalise it as often as females do. It indicates a potentially clingy and desperate person in my mind but id honestly pay closer attention to what he's portraying to you physically other than verbally.. does his physical behaviour towards you match what he is saying verbally? is he just trying to get you into bed with him?

    He also sounds like he may be controlling (i read your other responses). He doesn't need to know where you are ever second of every day.. If this is the case you need to get OUT as it will only get worse the longer you are together..

    Go with your gut instinct, has it ever led you astray before?

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What Guys Said 14

  • He is either saying "I love you" because

    a. he thinks that's what he needs to say for you to agree to have sex, or

    b. he is desperate and clingy.

    It's time to run like hell!

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  • Well that depends... a lot of guys say they love you to get you in bed, but very few only a handful will actually mean it. If youlike him and wanna have a real relashionship with him then keep dating him, If you wanna go date and screw other guys then dum him... I whsi I knew him, I have a good jusge of characted and get vibes of people si I know when I can trust people or when they lie, so far it's been right all the time. tell him you wanna wait several months before having sex, or until marrige. If he really loves from the bottom of his heart then he'll be ok with it, If he ends up breaking up with you a week or so later, then he just wanted the kitty cat. this is just advice, do whatever the fuck you wanna do!

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    • thanks lonelylion you are spot on. yes i told him with honest communication that i am waiting for marriage and he won't succeed in getting me to bed i called him out on his shit and he knows im not a naive moron girl. i even called him a pervert bc he was trying to convince me to do sexual things with him but i told him im not ready and i dont even trust him. he said he's going to respect me and take me out to dinner after the weekend, and that he can see himself marrying me in the future. i said i just wanna date right now. i want to get to know u and have a friendship. so he said he will earn my trust. he texts me everyday. and wants to know where i am. he gets upset when i dont text back within 3 hours. but yea he has a high sex drive. i saw porn on his phone. i told him im a virgin. and i will wait for a man with a good heart and when im ready. so balls in his court now. on our dinner date i hope he doesn't bring up sex again or i will walk out and leave.

    • "i even called him a pervert bc he was trying to convince me to do sexual things with him"

      LOL
      People who want sex are pervert? I am sure you'll be lots of fun in bed...
      Forget it, you two are definitely not for each other. You are completely incompatible sexually.
      @Asker

  • Might be legit, guys can fall abnormally quick. Not bad news necessarely, but awkward nonetheless. Perhaps he's not been close with anyone and can't quite handle the situation. I couldn't tell a woman after only 3 weeks that I loved her, it just doesn't work that quickly, logically it's not possible. Three weeks, no way in hell is enough time to get to know someone That well.

    No need to run, yet..

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  • Depends maybe your lucky and got an amazing guy... just keep your awarness level high, ride it for some time. Don't have any sex and see where it goes

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    • very true, i told him i won't have sex and yea im riding it out

  • If he truly means it, and a few weeks doesn't seem super short, than unless you feel he is literally obsessing over you it should be perfectly fine. :)

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    • he tells me he misses me like everyday

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    • yea its going fine we communicate just fine, he went away on a business trip and sometimes i dunno if im paranoid but i hope he doesn't have another chick on the side, he said he's with other men, i had to text him today he usually texts me first but he kept saying he misses me and he loves me... so i trust him

    • Well, I wish you both luck. :)

  • Before I formulated an opinion on this, I did look at your response to other comments. I look at some of what you claim to be his responses, and to me, It raises many red flags. Seems that when you told him that you barely knew him, and so on, With how he laughed it off, It would seem that he has an agenda and it's not a long term relationship. Why do I say that? First, Who the hell on their first three dates says I love you and I miss you baby? He is a seasoned player with a game. If someone says to me that they don't know me, or they don't love me "that much", Then I would have to reconsider my strategy and dial things down a bit. But to me, He sounds like he knows what it takes to bag the prize which is a gullible woman. Be leery of this one.

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    • I will also add that making out with him might not have been the best idea either. You should hold off on that unless you are sure that he is the one you really want to be with. That could have sent the wrong message as well. Don't create bonds like that when you are dealing with those who you are not sure about.

  • ... he sounds desperate and something tells me you don't find him attractive.

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    • he's really hot... i love making out with him... his personality is questionable... im still trying to get to know him... i dunno im scared he might be a player...

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    • cause if a guy says i love u so early he's trying to get me in bed

    • Fast to fall in love
      Quick to fall out

  • He is definitely desperate but that doesn't necessarily mean he is a psycho serial killer. But desperation is a sign...

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  • Wow he really sounds clingy.

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  • Well, if you can't trust him already, then you should run... I still like you, though.

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  • he wants to get you in bed i guess:)

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  • I always fell in love quickly until some women who were not worthy abused me (not physically) so today I am skeptical and not a believer in love in short timeframe after first meeting. But I would certainly feel sad if any of those past loves thought I was playing them.

    Another thing: women and men fall in love in reverse order; a woman is more likely to fall in love after sex, and the man who is in love (not the player) is in love before the sex, because the man not in love (who is not a player and who has high ethics and wants a relationship) won't. Verifiable research on this, you can google it.

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  • I went on a date with someone who talked about marriage after 1 date with only knowing each other for 2 weeks, we somehow got on the topic of proposals and I said how I want a huge one and she said "yeah, I can see if I didn't do a huge proposal just walking out and making me do it again until its right"

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  • A guy tells a girl he loves her in the first dates = the girl thinks it is bad, weird and that the guy has issues.

    A guy does not tell her he loves her for a while and does not make future plans with her = girl is desperate and starts analysing why he has not told her he loves her, starts doubting herself and she does not know if she should say it first. She thinks he does not want to commit.

    Both scenarios are useless and tell nothing in my opinion. Actkons speak louder than words.

    Do you feel good and happy with him? Does he treat you well? Do you guys have fun? Is he constantly hinting sex even when you are not ready? or is he understanding etc?

    Those are the things that matter imho. I have o say, not everyone needs three years to say those words to someone, love means different things to different people and some people know themselves better than others that they know what they like.

    if you actually do like this guy who cares if he said i love you in the first dates right? that should get you excited i think, because he likes you.

    the thing here seems that you maybe not into him as much (or not yet any way) and that may be the problem.

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    • best answer thank you so much. you are right. makes a lot of sense. i do feel good with him. we had fun. i dont know what treating me well is... he does hold my hand which i love, he kisses my cheek, he holds doors, is kind, he paid for first date but second date i had to pay cause his card declined or maxed out, and i guess the problem is that yes he is constantly hinting sex when i told him im not ready and am waiting for marriage. it scares me like im a piece of ass to him. and i keep thinking if i dont give him my vcard he will stop texting and ill never see him again. but he actually texts me everyday. and is taking me to dinner. i called him out on being a player and being a pervert i told him he doesn't respect me by constantly talking about sex and he said he will change and he's sorry. he also talks about the future and marriage which im not even thinking about. i just want romance and emotion and dating now. he doesn't call me his girlfriend.

What Girls Said 24

  • It's hard to tell, but does he do any other behavior that Strikes you as odd? Does he tells you this in person, or in text? Sometimes, people just starting to date someone will go through this sort of "Honeymoon Passion" phase. Basically they think the person they're dating is so great, perfect, that their judgements become skewed, and they could believe they're in love. But it also could be that he's the type to fall for someone really easy, so it's unfair until you notice other things about him.

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  • He may actually think he does. If you like him, just let him know you like him but think it's too early to be in love.

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    • yea i told him its too soon

  • Funny i'm in the same position right now.
    My boyfriend and i are both our first boyfriend/ girlfriend, so it might the reason he takes it so seriously and talks about being with me for the rest of my life, how much he loves me etc.

    Love him though, but i understand what you mean. If it feels very uncomfortable for you, then i don't think he's right for you.
    I have somehow learned to get used to it, but sometimes the compliments can be a little too much. Especially, since i take time to get to know people and i'm not very affectionate myself.

    Listen to your gut! 3 dates is very fast anyway for him to suddenly become that serious.

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  • My ex said it to me that early. Not always a bad thing.

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  • lol, he clearly doesn't know what it's to actually love someone, he probably likes you a lot and think that's real love. I wouldn't run from him, i'd see what happens, i'd try to know him more , he may surprise u

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    • thanks for being so positive

  • He sounds like the type of guy who's a clinger and who most probably hasn't had a lot of girlfriends in his life. It's not necessarily a bad thing but it depends on how you view it.

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  • My boyfriend basically did that too and it freaked me out but he just fell faster than I did and over e year later we've been on a trip to DisneyWorld Together, moved in and started university together and things are pretty great! I'd still be careful though just because it worked out in my case doesn't mean it always happens the same way, it's best to be cautious.

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  • YES it's always bad news when they say things like that early on... just keep a close eye on him and keep your distance.. I've only ever had trouble with these guys...

    If you can cut him off now then I would highly suggest doing so!

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  • I think you should run indeed. No normal person would use such big words in such a short time. Either he's a player or a nutcase. Seriously stay away from these kind of people. I wouldn't trust someone who is that easy on big words.

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  • Yeah, I would run. Run like hell woman!

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  • Run. I have the tendency to pick up guys that fall hard and fast and when they do it's uneasy. Be it if they are playing or serious to be that deep in just three weeks is way to fast.

    My advise is to either limit yourself from contact from this person or to address that its moving to quickly. People who fall in love this quick tend to be clingy. Clingy shows insecurity, which leads to issues such as you don't answer their phone call and they jump to the conclusion that you are cheating on them.

    Just get out in a manner that upsets them the least but don't leave any windows of opportunity.

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  • yes. he just wants to fuck.

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  • I feel like he's trying to get into your pants. It's just a gimmick for a lay with you.

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  • Don't attention to his bedtalking. Just run.

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  • Break up with him, he's probably trying to get some instead of trying to get to know you better. That's what every guy (player) always says every time they want something from you. Tell him, "I don't think this is going to work out,"

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  • Hell yeahh lmao wtf

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  • Ew wtf dude that's what you call a manwhore

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  • 50 50 chance he is playing you or he is serious

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  • He's insecure and knows nothing about love.

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  • My boyfriend told me he loved me when we knew each other for one week, before he even asked me to be his girlfriend. I was really freaked out, but also had a good feeling about him. 3 years later, and I have never been happier. Do what your gut tells you.

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  • My ex did that. He turned out to just want to use me for sex and verbally abuse me. Love takes time so if someone is that unstable to think they're in it so quickly or that big enough of a manipulative asshole to pretend then you don't need them. Keep him on the back burner do not give him none.

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  • it is pretty fast... but whatever you do, trust your gut.

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  • Yeah, he thinks you'll eat that BS up and bang him. I knew this guy who would meet chicks at a bar, and say I love you to them, and 75% banged him that night. Don't fall for this pathetic trap.

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    • okay i even called him out on it and he still texts me to meet me and stuff

  • Red flag run, he wants sex only and he's probably on a time frame and is waiting for you to give it up because he's desperate or he's talking to another girl and he's trying to fuck you but you are not doing it soon enough

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    • i told him straight up that i won't allow sex but he still texts me and wants to take me to dinner after the weekend

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