Would you continue dating someone that your parents thought were "not good enough" for you?

Would you continue dating someone that your parents thought were "not good enough" for you?

I mean "not good enough" as in from a commodified perspective. Based on an evaluation of superficial traits, the parents think your significant other is not good enough for you and therefore they don't approve.

Would you still continue dating such person?

  • Yes
    75% (12)45% (5)63% (17)Vote
  • No
    6% (1)18% (2)11% (3)Vote
  • See results
    19% (3)37% (4)26% (7)Vote
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Updates:
Bump.
Wow, I had the same question about "friends" and they merged it into this.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • YES! Holy shit, that defines my boyfriend to a 't'. A few of my friends hate him or strongly dislike him. For no clear reason, really. They say it's because there was one time he kept interrupting them, wasn't interested in my doing a muff-diver off of him, etc.. So really petty reasons, not to mention things that happened a year ago, if not more. My mother doesn't like him either. She never says so directly, but all of her side-comments about him not being white, not being religious, etc.. speak loud and clear!

    I would and am continuing to date such a person. What I do in my private life, who I date, is no one else's business but my own. The fact that he doesn't match the ideals from a time that was super backwards and interracial/intercultural dating was frowned upon has no significance to me. The fact that some of my friends saw that sure, he may have interrupted them once or twice, but overall treats me a million times better than their own boyfriends treated them is like... background noise to my ears.

    He's dating me, not anyone else. They can keep their opinions to themselves.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would stop since my judgement would most likely be impaired by my infatuation with the girl and I won't see her flaws.

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    • Again, what if it was based on just commodified aspects, as I said in the description.

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    • Yeah just shallow things in general. Conventional looks, socioeconomic class, etc.

    • Class doesn't matter to me as for looks I would prefer they say nothing.
      You know when someone points out a flaw in something and then the flaw is all you see.
      They'd obviously have to make their case but if it's something ridiculous like not liking her hair than I would keep dating her.

What Girls Said 22

  • Um yeah obviously I know him better than they do.
    People will tell their friends he bad stuff in their relationship and the friends will only have that to judge the person on. The person in the relationship knows there is way more good than the few bad stories

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  • I think I know my parents well enough when it comes to things like this. Mum would be like he hasn't got a big bank account, he hasn't got a good job or something along those lines. And dad will be lenient.

    Luckily enough I'm stubborn as a mule and I have established most of my dad's personality traits. So things like that doesn't bother me. I always make the decision of "who is good enough for me."

    They can have a say, sure why not. But in the end it's my decision.

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  • I do as I want, @R3d_Anonymous Not as the Romans Do all of the time.
    No one is putting any bread on my own table, and the Only thing that matters, is What I like and what I... Want.
    Good luck. xx

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  • What my friends think is pretty irrelevant. They don't know everything about the relationship so I wouldn't really take into consideration (too much) what they say.

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  • A lot of people I knew did tell me that he wasn't good enough for me but in the end, it's my relationship, not theirs.

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  • Yes, I would. If it was only in terms of looks, I would still date them. If it were in terms of personality traits and such, that's a whole different story.

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  • For superficial reasons they can F off. For genuine reasons I would listen and try understand their feelings

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  • I remember telling my friend that her boyfriend wasn't good enough for her, she kept dating him, but see the problem was, she wasn't good enough for him, but anyways it's what you want to do, your friends might know some things though.

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  • It would depend on what they meant with "he's not good enough for you". If they meant in terms of looks, then I wouldn't listen to them at all as appearance isn't everything. If they meant in terms of his career or the way he is as a person, then I would take into consideration and evaluate their criticism. Often we tend to fall for someone blindly and don't notice the red flags until someone else points them out to us.

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  • Well my parents aren't exactly a good example of relationships themselves, so no it wouldn't matter to me. I feel confident enough to make my own decisions in life, especially at my age lol

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  • Yeah I would

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  • I would continue to date the person.
    I like to understand their definition of good enough, if it is purely $ , i won't listen.
    I believe as a person is willing to work hard and earn money through honest means, he is good enough

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  • Some of my friends don't like my boyfriend and I could careless cause I love him & I find him just fine , he's for me , and dating only me not them , so why care about their opinion lol

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  • Why of course! I'm a grown woman and I can do what ever I want

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  • Of course. They don't have to like him. My opinion of him will matter more

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  • All my friends disapprove of my boyfriend and have since I started dating him five years ago. I couldn't care less. He isn't a druggie or a cheat or a woman abuser or a lazy fuck like some of my friends are so their opinion on my boyfriend is a completely useless and irrelevant theory on their end.

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  • Of course. If I find him attractive, like his personality, and enjoy spending time with him, then that's what matters most. My friends and I tend to find very different types of guys attractive, which just goes to show how subjective attractiveness can be. As a friend, it's important to be supportive unless you actually have a real cause for concern.

    If a friend told me, "You could do better," based solely on a guy's appearance, I'd probably get defensive and annoyed at her. Luckily, my friends aren't that shallow.

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  • I don't date anyone with characteristics that would make my friends think he was not good enough for me. We have similar stands and I would know he was not good enough way before they knew it.

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  • no. i was surprised a lot of people said yes in the poll. i have great honest and trustworthy friends. they are dating great people. so if they seem to think something is up, why wouldn't i trust them?

    besides, they've warned me about people before and were very right. i mean im not a robot yeah it hurt because i had feelings but in the long run it saved me from getting hurt way worse, if that makes sense.

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  • My perception of physical attraction change overtime. When at first I meet someone and don't necessarily find them physically attractive but later on I get to know them and they turn out to have such a nice personality, they suddenly become actually pretty to my eyes. Happens to me with a lot of people. So if my friend would find someone unattractive, I wouldn't care less because they don't see the person the way I see them.

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  • Fuck them then. Humans have this certain need to make everything see fit in their minds. They classify people as one or the other and place them in categories. Most of the time, they 'just can't see you as a couple'. It's none of their business, and they should keep their annoying opinions to themselves. Whatever you see in that person amounts to SOMETHING. And if they're going to criticize that then they're insensitive to your own feelings.

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    • Right! Exactly my thoughts. Fuck them.

      This commodified mentality some people seem to carry with respect to dating is so irritating and unethical.

    • Exactly! Look, you're on the right mindset. You don't seem like a shallow person from what I can tell. But people will be people. So if your friends think a girl or guy is not good enough, typically in appearance, then just shrug them off. In some cases, I've had a friend of my boyfriend say that I was 'ugly' to try to convince him to break it off with me so that he could try to go out with me. But generally, either people are like this and jealous, or they just have this distasteful need to want the picture perfect couple. People are imperfect, and whoever you're going to date is always going to have a flaw or two or many. Your friends shouldn't be suited for your love life. I've learned this for a while. Don't ignore them but uninvolve them with your girl or guy. Best course of action in my opinion.

  • I could care less what my friends think.. no one gets into my relationship.. they can mind their own business

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    • As an extension question, what if it was the same situation but with your parents?

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    • Good for you!

    • Thanks

What Guys Said 14

  • Well, it's not exactly what you asked, but I am the one that is not good enough in the relationship from her parents point of view. Yet we have been together for over 2 years, so she certainly would and her parents have made it abundantly clear their opinion of me for a number of reasons that in their minds are very legitimate, but are really pretty stupid.

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  • My friends don't choose my SO. As a matter of fact neither does anyone else

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  • Those who said "no" are shallow hoes.

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  • I wouldn't really care what my friends though if I was interested and attracted to that person

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  • lol I have no friends that could approve or disprove of anyone I'm dating.

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  • I sooooooooooooooo could not care less. LOL

    I'd continue to date them, and my parents would see less of me until they came around.

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  • Yes I would, I don't care what my parents think...

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  • Fuck them. if i love her and she loves me, everyone else can accept it or fuck off. in shorter term. yes, i would still date her :)

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  • I trust my friends and believe in their judgement. If they had very valid reasons to question the relationship I would of course consider it.

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  • I would consider breaking up since my friends probably see something I don't.

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  • my parents can fuck off and that's exactly why I won't tell them that I'm talking to someone

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  • Ha! The more they dislike her, the more I know I'm doing something right.

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  • LOL! not only don't guys let friends have any input (or don't care/don't listen), but it's generally women who would say anything. I have never had a man (or woman) comment on my choice, nor have I on theirs, except if we're talking homicidal maniac deal-breaker level.

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  • Parents have an opinion there might sense something that doesn't make them feel 100 sure of the relationship. Its also a way to protect. Only time will say

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