Be truly honest, looks DO matter in a guy, right?

I read a lot about girls aren't bothered by looks etc etc, but honestly you must be? Personality is a factor but you've also got to thinks he's attractive, right?
You could have a nice guy but if you dont find him attractive how would it work?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There are several times I have been involved with men who are not considered good looking because I became attracted to their personality, and the key attributes there are confidence, intelligence and a sense of humor.
    Good looking guys may have an easier time getting women's interest because they don't need to focus so much on their personality but a non classically good looking guy with a great personality, and especially confidence, can go far.
    Guys post these questions on this site all the time and a lot of the time it's basically to whine that they don't have it as easy as good looking guys. They should actually be looking at it from a more positive perspective -- personality is a much big factor in women finding a guy attractive, so there is something that they can work on. For a non good looking woman, from what I have observed, having a great personality will not get her as far with the opposite sex.
    While I don't advocate his techniques (you don't need to go full blown arsehole with the PUA negging stuff that he suggests, just cultivate a bit of confidence), look at Neil Strauss, that guy is not good looking and he bedded tonnes of women once he started being more assertive and up front about what he wanted with women.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course it matters. Personality matters only if you're already at least somewhat physically attractive. Or if they want to make friends. But long-term relationships with sexual activity with an unattractive person? No, why would anyone subject themselves to that?

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What Girls Said 28

  • Looks matter to a certain point. If it's a guy you find so hideous that it's vomit inducing I highly doubt you'd be giving him a chance, but most of the time when people are asking do looks matter? They're directing that question toward "average" looking people not people with any visible deformities or sicknesses. They might even give a guy a chance that they consider "ugly" but his personality does it so much for them it's overlooked. If you're in the range of "ugly" to "average" and you've got something unique about you personality wise, eventually she'll find you physically attractive. Attraction is more than just outside appearance, it's the way you smell, your voice, your humor, your intelligence, something that is used to draw a person in. You need to attract her first to be given a chance.

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  • Looks matter only to a point. Point of attraction. But it's not as picky and bad as you think

    I know for myself, if I first meet a guy and am not attracted, he still has a chance. His personality will attract me and then I start to think he's good looking. That's just how it works with me. I'm very personality oriented.

    A guy who is okay in the looks department becomes a fox when I find out he has a good personality and can make me happy and laugh :)

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  • I honestly don't believe men and women are different in this regard.
    I've heard that men are more visual, but i don't feel like that correlates to what people look for in a partner.
    At the very least, real love should require attraction to both physicality and personality.

    I mean if you were dating a normal girl whose personality was so perfectly suited to yours, you would want to be with her as opposed to a more attractive girl who you have nothing in common with right? At least in terms of a relationship.

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    • exactly you could also have a great personality that like you say is suitedto your own but if you're not attracted to them then doesn't that make them a friend?

  • Sure, they matter. Probably like 80% personality, maybe 20% appearance. If I'm not attracted to someone at all, then I can't be in a sexual relationship with them. He doesn't have to be classically attractive (it's not like my boyfriend is the poster guy for what most girls want, even though for me he's exactly like what I think is perfect), but he does need to be attractive to me.

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  • Whoever says he/she doesn't care about looks at all is a liar.

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  • All the guys I've ever dated haven't been the hottest or most attractive. In fact my first boyfriend, everyone would make comments on how not attractive he was. But I've never actually gone after someone becuz of his looks. Personality honestly does show through. My first boyfriend was so sweet to me. It didn't matter that he wasn't model worthy or the hottest guy, his love for me and the words he used and the things he did were enough.

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  • Of course they do.
    No matter what your sexuality or gender, I believe nobody will be happy in a relationship with someone they feel 0 physical attraction to..

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  • I feel I would have to be attracted to to them psychically to want more than a friendship. But everybody has different opinions as to what they think is attractive.

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  • Looks are good for initial attraction. Personality is what keeps the relationship going.

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  • yes it does! it would take more much more work to like you.

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  • well for me looks are not really that important. when i first introduce my boyfriend to my family they were like "what did you see in him?" judging by his looks. When they get to know him their questions were answered. He is the most amazing guy. He is kind and understanding. personality means a lot more than looks,

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    • im also thinking in terms of lifestyle. Say a girl is very health concious, in good shape, dresses nicely, but the guy is overweight, and wears ill fitting clothes etc. Basically opposite ends, i have noticed couples tend to be similar in looks and how they dress etc?

    • it is actually the opposite for us. he is very health conscious and I am not. he dresses nicely and he has a nice body for a guy. lol thats the good thing about him.

  • Who said they didn't?

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  • Kinda, they may matter to some but they are not important to me. I do not care for looks at all, I will date someone for their personality. Their personality judges if they're hot or not to me.

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  • Look matter to almost everyone, but not everyone thinks the same. And looks are not everything.

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  • Yes they do matter.

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  • Yup. They actually do matter.. for most of us.

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  • It doesn't work because i'm not a half a**ed person frankly. If I like someone I like all of them that isn't sinful or unhealthy. He has to be attractive subjective to me.

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  • yes it does, that's the first thing u know /see in the person

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  • For me, I am looking for:
    1. Brains/intelligence
    1. (=) Personality
    3. Looks
    4. Wealth

    in the above order.

    So yes, looks still matter, but it's not all.

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  • I'm being honest, looks do matter! They're not the most important thing but how a guy looks is important to me. His personality is more important, he needs to have both.

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  • guys are attracted to looks, girls are attracted to personality.

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  • yeah... but if he has really good dating skillz, then it doesn't matter.

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  • For me it does. When you look at someone you can't see their personality you see their looks. Any girl that says looks doesn't matter is lying or a rare girl.

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  • Yes looks matter whether people admit it or not. We constantly first judged people based on looks and then their personality. Like many of the girls here have commented the ugly guys still have a chance that means that the uggo is going to have to take time to get the chick to find interest in him whereas the cute guy already has their attention and they don't spend as much time trying, like the uglies. So pretty much ugly people have to try harder and on top of that have a fucking great personality so great the girls are blinded by the love or attraction they feel towards the guy. And no one better argue this.

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  • I'll be honest with you, it's what probably gets us to talk to you. However everyone has a different opinion of what's attractive, believe me on that. One girl may not find you attractive but her best friend might think you're cute as a button.

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  • Exactly!! this is 100% true

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  • It's not the most important thing, but physical attraction usually has to be there. At least some nice features, like say nice eyes, smile, etc. The eyes + smile combo is what gets me attracted if I haven't talked to a guy yet. Basically that's what reels me in, but not what keeps me interested.

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  • For me, yes they do. It's a healthy balance of attraction and compatibility. Attraction isn't all looks, for me, though. Looks matter, but so does scent and the way he moves. I think it's pretty personal for each person what turns them on them on and off the most.

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What Guys Said 11

  • From experience, looks do matter to a degree, no matter what. You have to be attracted to your partner as well. Some have a higher emphasis on looks over other things when it comes to a potential partner.

    As I've gotten older and have met more women, the older women (and men) get, the more they appreciate personality more than looks. Looks do not last but for the most part, personalities do so that's what's going to keep a relationship going. Not looks.

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  • but if he has money, status, or power, he'll be attractive.

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  • Of course looks matter to everyone in Initial stages. It's not shallow, it's natural don't ignore it. Lots of people say otherwise, but in my opinion they just aren't being honest with themselves or have poor self-awareness.

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  • To women looks matter in a sense of how you take care of yourself as opposed to characteristics most can't control (big lips, certain colored eyes, big ears, etc.) which matter to girls.

    If you're healthy, groomed, and not afraid to smile... you look good.

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  • ... don't worry about it, do remember that women age like milk.

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  • Of course, it's what gets you in the door.

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  • Anyone who says looks doesn't matter live in a delusional dream

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  • Yes but not as much as guys think they do... more than looks your appearance matters

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  • It's the same, it goes both ways.

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  • Of course they do, girls are shallow but hide it compared to guys who show it straight away.

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  • Not only looks but your pocket matters them too 😔

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