What is your definition of a date?

I've gone out with my guy friend and he picks me up and he pays even when I don't want him too. Is this a date? Or is this him being a nice friend? Should I ask him if it's a date?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Im gonna tell you something from my experience. And i hope this helps you.

    I had a similar situation to the one you are in. The only difference is that i was of course the guy doing all that stuff that your friend is doing. I met this girl when i was dating my ex girlfriend and i found her really attractive when i met her but if course i was in a relationship so i wasn't going to do anything. A few years later we broke up and she turned out to be one of my best friends. She was always there for me and we would hang out lots of times but none of us talked about dating. Later on i decided i wanted to date her so i started to pay for her all the time and ask her to come to the movies and go out for dinner and she was in the same positon as you were. She had bo idea i was trying to make it or turn it into a date because i was shy to make a move and didn't want to ruin what we had. Maybe she didn't feel the same way. So i had to do it slowly to see if she was responding to all those things. And i was always tlaking to her and once in a while we would flirt but never hooked up before or anything. In the end she couldnt hold it and she told me she liked me. And i told her i felt the same way and we dated. I remember her asking me why i didn't make a move before and i told her that it was cause i didn't want to ruin what we had. Anyways thats my story

    If he is talking to you all the time and inviting you and paying for you all the time let me tell you that he is interested in you. A normal friend doesn't do that alll the time only sometimes. Like i said im telling you this cause i did it and still do it. So if you dont wanna have a conversation about that or tell him straight up then start flirting with him and see how he reacts and with that you will see if he is interested in you or not.
    Hope this helps. Good luck!

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    • Wow thas a spot on explanation of what's going on thank you so somuch

    • No problem. Im glad it helped you understand what's going on! 👌

What Guys Said 26

  • Basically, I agree with the definition given by @Esplorare, except that I cannot agree that "What your friend is doing doesn't sound like a date" does not make sense since what you guys did when you went out has not been discussed, so how can we judge it?

    But what you have said so far qualifies as a date as far as I can see.

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    • The most recent, we went to the park to carve our Halloween punpkins and we had dinner afterwards. Other times we hangout and watch the city lights from a hill and have dinner, we talk the entire time, we go to the movies thing like that but yet he hasn't made any moves on me. That's why in hesitant.

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    • How awkward is it asking if its a date or not? How's a casual way of asking?

    • Depends on how you guys communicate best. Perhaps asking him if he considers these just hanging out or dating.

  • It sounds like this guy is too shy to properly ask you out. I've taken out my female friends like that and it wasn't a date even though I treated them out and everything. I also make sure they know it's not a date by steering the convo to people we're interested in and who we're seeing and what upcoming dates we have. I do it because it's nice to get a female's perspective and I even treat it as a "practice" date for my real dates with women I'm interested in.

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  • Either:
    1. Something with an period of time identified by a unique combination of month, day of month, and year
    2. These:
    www.organicfacts.net/.../Dates2.jpg

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  • Do you hold hands? Kiss? Doers he look at you like a little boy in love with a puppy?

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    • No & no & I'm not sure. He smiles a lot and we tease and play around with each other

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    • I'm not quite sure how to do that :/

    • Find an opportunity to give him a hug. While hugging, give him an extra firm embrace. Then, keep your arms around him but pull your torso back from him, look into his eyes with that look that says you want to be kissed, and close your eyes. If he doesn't kiss you then. . . check his pulse.

  • It's possible he thinks it's a date. There is a chance that he wants you to like him as a friend that he will go out of his way to make you like.
    Don't ask him if THAT was a date. Ask him the next time if that is going to be a date. If he says no then tell him that you will go but he can't pay for you (if that is what you want.)

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    • I feel he giving mixed signals this is why I'm so skeptical about it, so just ask him hey is this a date and if he says no tell him alright you're not paying for me? Haha

    • don't ask as you are together if it's a date. Ask him that while on phone/text if he is asking you out on a date. If he says no, then say "cool, we'll go dutch."

  • I find it easier to first imagine it's not a date, but just be a gentleman and do whatever the atmosphere flows. So, not being pushy if the other party doesn't seem to be in the mood.

    Then afterwards, when I'm officially in a relationship with her, retrospectively backdate the "first outing" as a date.

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  • basicly all you need to do is if you want this to be a date than treat it like a date if you want to be friends then just be friends.

    if you want it to be a date then just get more touchy with him. touch his arm when your in conversation. get more subtly physical. he should understand and if he responds or how he responds should tell you your answer

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  • I'd like to say that all three times I "hung out" with my crush were dates.
    Because there was a specific time, a specific activity, and the intention was pretty much just for us to spend time together. I don't think a date has to be romantic.

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    • No dude those were not dates, the quicker you learn this the better off you'll be and the less of a chance you'll end up in the friend zone. A date HAS to be romantic otherwise it's just two friends hanging out. Did you flirt? Does she know you're interested in her? Do you know if she's interested in you? I'm assuming that's a no to everything. Save yourself the stress and trouble and use the word date next time you want to see her, that way you're both on the same page and can progress accordingly. Good luck man!

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    • Ahh ok I thought you meant the moment she said she liked you that you'd ask her to be your girlfriend without at least going on one real date and seeing how it goes.

    • @guy532 if she told me she liked me, we'd already be hanging out right then (due to circumstances), and then I'd ask her if she wants to go on an actual date. Then chances are I'd still like her after that and I'd ask her to be my girlfriend.

  • A date is when both people agree to go out together to do something or get to know each other. When a date take place, there is two things you can do. You can be curteous and pay for the date for both or you can go Dutch. Dutch is when both people pay for thimgs with their own money. That is what I call a date.
    I am usually the gentleman who's paying for the date when I do date.

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  • I don't have a definition of a date!

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  • Ok, you have to ask yourself a question (well, several):

    Are you attracted to him?

    Is he attracted to you?

    What type of questions were asked during this time?

    At any time did either of you check or touch your phone (looking at the time is allowed)?

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    • I am the most attracted to him

      I don't know if he's attracted to me

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    • Seems like a date so far...

      How did he ask you out?

    • Uh I don't really remember :/

  • The sticky, sweet fruit of the palm tree, dates are a traditional food and are eaten for their natural sugar, carbohydrates, protein and nutrient content. They are a healthy snack choice and are a rich source of energy, vitamins and minerals. Originally a fruit that was harvested in Middle Eastern desert regions, dates of several different types are now grown throughout the world, including in California.

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  • If the girl (or the more feminine of the two guys/two girls) decide that it's a date, then it's a date. Otherwise, it's not a date.

    Yes, that means men have no say in it.

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  • That's a date. Real male and female friends don't do those sorts of things--at least not without a lot of romantic and sexual tension.

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    • I disagree, I've done this countless of times with female friends and they were certainly not dates.

  • Getting together face-to-face as you get to know each other better, and maybe in addition having a little good fun as you do.
    Like mine? :)

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  • I think any situation in which there is one male and one female, is a date.

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  • It can be classified as a date, but one that's
    easy-going.

    Meaning not much contact, just two great friends, enjoying a day together.

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  • sounds like a date

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  • Depends what time of the day it is, if it's just you and if the feelings are mutual.

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  • I think I like you.

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  • is he tried something else?

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  • IN MY VIEW
    ITS JUST 2 VERY GOODS FRIENDS GOING ON A FRIENDLY OUTTING

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  • He is wanting to make it a date regardless of your intentions.

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  • Screw dating... and screw relationships

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  • If you're hanging out alone, and he's paying for you, it's a date

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  • It's a date if both recognises it as a date openly.

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What Girls Said 14

  • "A date" is with the intent of something eventually evolving into more.

    "A hangout" is just two friends getting together.

    Whether it's a "date" or a "hang out" is a person's play on words or has to do with both peoples view of eachother and where they see things going.

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  • My definition of a date is when two people are attracted to each other and choose to get to know each other better or create a fun, possibly romantic memory via some sort of activity and food.

    What your friend is doing doesn't sound like a date. It just sounds like him being a friend.

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  • I think you might be reading into it as just friendship but it's more in his mind. You should definitely ask what his intentions with you are because it sounds like he likes you. Friends go out but pay separately usually.

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  • Is there any intimacy? Hand holding, kissing, more? Those are what usually separate a date from two friends getting together.

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  • It sounds like he wants to be dating you but is too shy to make a move.

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  • If he does all those things I would consider that a date unless you guys both knew that it wasn't. Maybe he thought it was a date but you didn't. Ask him or try to notice if it seems as if he likes u.

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    • That's the thing I don't know what it is, and at the sane time I don't wanna weird him out if I ask if it's a date or not

    • I see ur point. Try to figure out then the signs of if he liked u

    • We hung out last night and I noticed he smiles at me a lot. And I can see that he tries to read what I'm thinking or my facial expressions I don't know it's weird. I don't know if that says anything

  • If it is a date.. both should know it is..

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  • For me, I would only call it a date if there was any kind of flirtatious behavior

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  • he's probably just being nice.

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  • If he's picking you up and paying for you, it's definitely more than friends in his mind

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  • Tbh it could be either. lol i would ask him

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  • Yeah, sounds like a date.

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  • Anything as long as we're both smiling, laughing or just enjoying ourselves

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  • The guy calls or texts and asks you to go somewhere together. He pays. He should pick you up or at least meet you. He has a romantic or sexual interest.

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