Why are men so passive aggressive to pretty women?


i don't get this- most men worship pretty celebrities- or think they're so hot, but when they meet a woman as hot in person, they're usually mean or rude to her. Is there a reason for this?

how do men view really pretty women- do they seem them as people they just kind of 'admire' from far but think they're out of their league or have no real chance with them? Do they see these pretty women like they see celebs too--hot but unattainable? Do men just never go for pretty women but usually go for others and also im wondering do they just hate them because they think the woman is too good for them? im a pretty woman and most guys are really passive aggressive and mean to me, but they'll be staring at a pic of a female celebrity and say "she's so hot and that guys' lucky"... im thinking, but u had a chance with me and treated me like crap?

im wondering how men perceive hot women and if they just see them as people they admire but never try to get with

Updates:
eg, a guy came to jumpstart my car from popalock. Seemed like white trash- he gave me a really weird attitude- i thought i dont trust him. He tried starting my car ten times- something wasn't right. I knew he was messing with me. same reason- im pretty. called another tech and he jumped it right away- people were saying tow it etc.. im like nope, this guy screwed me over trust me.. the way he acted i already knew.. there r creeps like this everywhere

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm never passive/aggressive with anyone. I view them as out of my league/resentful if I try to chat them up, probably taken. I go out of my way to basically ignore them entirely. The few times I have broken this rule I have had hell to pay, either because she was bat-shit crazy (for example had a crush on me and told my girlfriend to her face that she was going to take me into the bathroom and fuck me) or because the vitriol she poured out on me just for saying hi made it so not worth doing it again. Even two times different hot friends, eventually they would display body language that they thought (incorrectly) I was leering or ogling her boobs (I'd known them both about two years before those incidents). One of those times she had on a new crucifix and I was trying to look at the design - in that case we abruptly stopped being friends entirely, and in the other case, she had just done a stage act and was peering down at me from the raised theater area, and in looking up at her she "judged" me as having stared at her low-cut dress that 500 other people had already been staring at, as if to say "YOU don't have the right, you, a person who has helped nurture my career with your support - but a crowd of people I don't know at all can do it." by the way it would have literally been impossible to make eye contact without noticing her boobs, she is an E size. Men are guilty always in that kind of person's eyes. I have taken that ammunition away from hot women for good.

    Just not worth it ever, and if you or someone you know is a legit nice hot girl, I am sorry for what you're going to go through. I am never going to accuse any hot chick of being like my example women for the reason you all really don't exist to me anymore. I am not the only man that feels this way. There are more of us than you could think.

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    • P. S.: this is about America; European women are still great, and I suspect Latin America women also, and maybe in Asia. They don't act like men are guilty until proven innocent, and they don't take offense at approaching.

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is something I've definitely wondered.
    I think it is because many men have been rejected by women they were attracted to, and now associate all attractive women with being stuck-up bitches.
    They also tend to assume you get lots of attention, and they think they don't really compare to the other "hotter" guys that might talk to you, and that makes them angry, bitter, insecure, etc.
    By acting out in some way, they are trying to regain the control that they felt they lost.

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    • this makes a lot of sense- thanks.. good explanation

    • even good looking guys act this way because they see how those kinds of women have treated their freinds who are not as good looking as them or these guys were once unattractive at one time and are now "getting even"

What Guys Said 31

  • they probably assume they don't have a shot with her to begin with, so they're bitter by default from the start.

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    • that makes sense- so most men just feel that way towards pretty women?

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    • "since beauty is too damn subjective to these people"

      Not just these people. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's not just a saying, it's true.

    • thats true, they do--that's how lots of guys or people get towards me--suddenly theyre angry or obnoxious... but i sort of get why now.. just stupid people

  • It's based on stereotypes and insecurities.
    They may think because you're attractive, that you're stuck up or a conceited bitch.
    They may think that you're already taken, so why bother.
    They may think they're not enough for such a pretty woman, therefore you'd reject them.

    They create these made up scenarios in their mind where the end result is you going away and them feeling bad, therefore treating you negatively is like a defense system: I hurt you first, before you get the chance to hurt me.
    Some have had bad experiences with beautiful women that ended in them getting their feelings hurt, so they think every beautiful women is like that.

    A confident man will never treat a beautiful women like that, so look it as a way to filter the bad guys from the good ones, they filter themselves.

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  • I know this sounds terrible but I won't really talk to super pretty women because, even though I know I have something to offer I simultaneously believe they will have nothing to do with me. So to save myself the pain and embarrassment, I just don't talk to them at all. I must confess if they spoke to me first and displayed an interest, I would talk to them then, but otherwise I would say nothing. I do this not to be an asshole, just to save both myself from what I mentioned above and save them the displeasure of interacting with me from the get go.

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    • Wow. It's crazy guys feel that way. I mean I guess some people have low self esteem u shouldn't feel that way

    • I must confess it does seem crazy, and thinking on it now in this context I realize we are all just people in the end, so maybe I shouldn't feel this way. Unfortunately in being honest with both you and myself, I suspect some of these old ideas and habits are difficult to shake off and not unlike my shadow will follow me around until I choose to place myself in the brilliance of somebody who will banish these shadows...

  • Haha I know it's stupid, but some men act with beautiful girls like they had already rejected them. They are so out of their league that they just assume they would reject them. So they react just like if they had been rejected.
    Stupid, I know.
    Not all men are like that though.

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    • oh yeah... ok! that really is what it is... yeah theyre acting like you already rejected them so theyre lashing out at you... haha! that's a good answer and I think totally what's happening thanks

    • I agree with JuicyBrain. It's their way of rejecting you before you get a chance to reject them. It protects his ego from getting hurt. And shows a lot of insecurities.

  • Men act this way because women tend to walk all over guys who are genuinely nice. They figure that if they act rudely to you, at least it will show you that the guy has balls and isn't a pushover. And yes, that is what it's come to, given the current state of relations between men and women. There are so many people out there playing games that guys don't feel it's in their best interest to be nice to women.

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  • I'll probably will have to hide for a couple of years writing this but here it goes

    The problem lies in sex. Not having having it but being able to obtain it. Guys wish they could get sex as easy as women can. And for a pretty women it's really really reeeeaallly easy (unless she doesn't how to obtain it). Most guys will have to work really hard to get sex. That causes resentment.

    Also guys can loose their minds over a pretty woman. She can basically dominate him and guys don't like that. Guys like to be in control.

    Then there is that stereotype of pretty women not needing their brains or just being plain stupid. She can just get by by being beautiful.

    Girls thinking they are all that because they are beautiful. Guys absolutely hate that.

    These are just a couple.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I must find a place to hide.

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    • I think all of those are true. And accurate descriptions thanks!

  • You seem stuck-up and shallow, that's probably why they don't like you. I've never heard of a man who disliked a woman for being pretty.

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  • Well yeah. I believe there are two types of men. Those who react negatively inwards (the extreme being suicide) and those who react negatively outwards (extreme: murder) there is the scale and most people are near the middle. So depending on the guy, if he is "outwards" he will act aggressively towards you. If he is"inwards" he will ignore you or be afraid of you. It's like everyone says here, the guy knows you will never go for him. That thought then can be projected outwards "hot women's fault" or inwards "I'm a loser". I personally don't go out of my way to speak to hot women because there is no point and I have heaps of good friends. It's not like I need another one. It's just aquintances for me.

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  • Wow well I'm glad you're confident and class yourself as pretty, a lot of girls are way too hard on themselves. I don't really know why those men treated you like that but some men do treat women as objects so that may be one explanation. Another explanation is that maybe you just weren't their type, everyone has different tastes and preferences. I assure you though, not all men are like that

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  • Yeah, it's an insecurity thing with most guys. Either they get shy or they get mean.

    That's why I see a lot of really pretty girls with kind of eccentric/just a little off boyfriends. These guys don't treat them special for good or for bad. I think most pretty girls just want to experience not being the pretty one ironically.

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    • lol... that's true... pretty women can't get normal guys- the normal ones treat them crazy so they end up with freaks..

  • I just don't like how pretty women try an manipulate you sometimes. I kinda just brush them off since high school. I have met really attractive women who were not like this though.

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  • Well your dealing with a unique instance, like most stories here there are a lot more factors then what you summed your question down to.

    That said I know when I see really attractive women I go out of the way to treat them like normal people. I'm kind and polite as usual because part of me says "She's so pretty I bet with all the horny men around she's never had to lift a finger to do anything"

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  • I think mostly its bc some guys feel they dont have a chance, therefore whats the point of being nice? If the only reason to be nice is bc they might "have a chance".
    They'll just assume you'll reject them, so They'll act accordingly. or just ignore you.
    Also its a stereotype of pretty=dumb/ stuck up.
    Its not bc "they're just jealous"

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  • It's depending on how they make me feel, if they make me feel shitty, means I can sense their ego then I am not going to talk to them, maybe only if they do but if they say bullshit I will ignore them.

    The normal good looking gals that make me feel good around them make me turn into butter, I don't think anymore and be like honey. I feel a high urge to hug or kiss em but I have controled myself well so I didn't kiss any girl for a long time

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  • some of these men were once unattractive at one time and were treated like the plague, so now they feel as if they are "getting even" by treating pretty women like crap. It sounds terrible, but if you are in these men's shoes, it does sound reasonable.

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  • Maybe we're just rude to the so called "pretty woman" cause she's rude and obnoxious.

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  • I worship no one. Except Joe pesci.

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    • he's kind of creepy

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    • You haven't seen it lol. He's a lawyer in that movie.

    • yes I've seen it... its old.. i never liked joe pesci--of all people... he's just weird

  • This happens the other way round too :]

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  • Unattainable

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  • I was never rude to you. I don't know what you're talking about. <3

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  • cos most hot women suck... too self-absorbed..

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  • Women do the same to men

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  • Because pretty women are usually stuck up bitches and it's fun to give them the workk around.
    And you're not as pretty as you think you are.

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  • I love attractive women but when they have less than desirable attitudes I hate them more than anyone else. Being an attractive women (at least from a guy's prospective) is a free pass to an easy life. There are so many guys willing to just give and give and give for nothing in return. Not all guys are like this but all guys know these type of guys exist. So when I meet very attractive women with bad additudes I hate them with a passion because they've been handed one of the easiest lives anyone could wish for and yet they squander it. Entitlement disgusts me and it's usually the somewhat pretty girls that have an issue with it. They hold themselves up on some pedestal and expect others to agree and also hold them up on that pedestal. I don't blame them when they're young because I know it's probably just what they're used to. However I refuse too join in on their entitlement train not because I hate them but because a sense of entitlement to me only comes from people with an easy life who have no grasp on how easy it is. It's unappreciative at best and narcissistic at worst. I know and have befriended many beautiful women who understand the benefits that come with being attractive and do thier best to be appreciative of the life they have. They give back to the less fortunate, they try their best to elevate the spirits of others, they say thank you and try not to abuse the kindness of others, they don't flaunt. I don't hate beautiful women but when your beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside I feel like you have enough given to you already that you don't deserve that I don't owe you a shread of kindness. The issue is these girls are rarely aware of their attitudes and tend to assume things like "haters gonna hate" instead of being introspective.

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  • Often a sense of entitlement or fucked up idea that people are "weird" around you because you are pretty becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, if you are expecting people to be weird around you, you will make people weird around you.

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    • its usually years of people being 'weird' around you--most pretty women aren't stuck up... some are though

  • Here is some advice if everyone else has a problem with you then you are the problem.

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    • thats bad advice, dont ever have kids, for many reasons other than the above

    • Truth hurts!

  • "so passive aggressive" meaning some women think themselves pretty enough (you used the word 'pretty' quit often) to be entitled to more attention than they get? Some guys even ignoring them or turning them down?

    There's a bit more to getting attention than just looks. And keeping him asks for still more than flaunting body parts.

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  • I'm not mean to them, I just won't date them.

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  • NONSENSE. on the contrary, men go out of their way to help women and provide for them. Show some respect, bitch

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  • personally i've never witnessed this myself. so i wouldn't be able to help you...

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What Girls Said 9

  • "you annoy those you love."
    any attention is better than no attention..
    some guys just suck at showing emotions the right way so they respond in an unexpected way..

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    • And what is the expected way?

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    • @Tormentarian you go into a relationship open minded.. everyone is unique and we don't know how someone else reacts to situations until it happens.. be ready for anything but expect nothing

  • They feel like they you wouldn't be interested and automatically get an attitude. Its a bitter thing.

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  • I model part time

    Men are only passive-aggressive once I reject them.
    Women just decide to hate me on sight.

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  • You seem passive-aggressive yourself. Maybe you're not as pretty as you think?

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  • maybe the guy himself doesn't find her ”hot”

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  • Really? I thought men were usually nicer to women they find very attractive.. That's what I've noticed anyway.

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    • theyre not--theyre insecure and crazy

    • Hmm.. I'm intrigued to know what sort of men you've been dealing with then. I guess it must depend on the man in question and how he views beauty.

    • Also, this isn't in any way a lash out at you, but I don't think you should assume that every time someone treats you badly, it's because you're 'pretty.' It may just have been these men were having a bad day themselves and wanted to take it out on a complete stranger.. Who knows could be anything.

  • Stereotypes probably. They assume pretty girls are shallow and mean.

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  • mean and rude is like that kid punching the girl he likes in pre school lol and egos getting kinda hurt because he thinks he has 0 chance with her and he will never have her even though he wants her

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    • yeah totally... that's exactly what it is... argh so creepy

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