Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month, I am very progressive in my stance. I don't allow the guy to pay every time, I had to make him let me pay and we talked about it, He felt obligated because of social norms so I decided to treat him as well, it makes me feel like i'm an equal partner. That said, I make MUCH less than my boyfriend and on top of that I have no insurance and Two kids I am trying to support, I have vented that fear to him recently.
I know it's not fair to expect him to pay all the time, but iv'e been buying food more often than he does for the two of us because that is just my nurturing instinct.
The problem I am facing is that I feel like he's gotten use to that so he expects me to have dinner bought or made for him now, like if I come over and i'm like what should we get, he says whatever you want and makes no attempt to help decide or pay.
He treats me like gold, and is always supportive, but in this one particular area I am starting to feel taken advantage of.
I like taking care of him and making sure he's fed, but I want him to feel the same for me. it's a lot of financial pressure to take on.
Yesterday-I had a really bad day, his solution was snuggling and making me feel safe, that is great! But still no attempt to take me out and make me feel cared for. He wanted me to handle getting food even that day. It's like it doesn't occur to him anymore or something. I don't want to get resentful but I am starting to.
How do I handle this?
Most Helpful Guy
You have to talk to him about it. You have to tell him that you still need support when it comes to food and that you don't always want to be the one to make the food. That you want to feel like someone will take care of you when you are having a bad day. That even though you are willing to take care of people that you still need someone to take care of you too. And although you wanted to help pay for things in the beginning that you can't pay for everything. That you need help from time to time.1