Little backstory: I'm friends with a girl I like. We met through a school function in the beginning of the year. For the duration of that semester, we'd talk maybe once a week usually during when the club we were in met.
The beginning of this semester, we started talking more, I got her number and then we eventually started hanging out. We've gone to the bar a couple of times, gone bowling, etc. while still seeing each other during club meetings.
A few weeks ago, we both went on a trip with our church group for a weekend and this is pretty much when we really hit it off. We hung out everyday. We were in the same groups for meetings, ate together, and a few times I even thought she was flirting with me and I reciprocated and she didn't seem to be taken aback by it.
I eventually developed feelings for her even after I told myself I refused to get involved with another girl for a while after things went bad with the last girl I was involved with. I'm friends with quite a few women but she definitely sticks out and deep inside, I feel like she may be the one.
However, when we were sitting by the lake and talking, she told me that she liked another guy (I didn't tell her I liked her). A guy she was SURE she was going to end up with but hasn't really talked to much. She's told me that she's shy and isn't even sure if the guy would like her. I was of course a little heartbroken and surprised at this as I was fairly certain that she was into me as well.
Usually I would give up if a girl was into another guy but something in me is saying not to. I'm questioning whether I should let her do her thing and hope things work out between her and her "crush" or continue to be friends with her and hope that we may eventually get together. I woudl tell her how I feel but I'm afraid that I'll lose her as a friend. I just moved to where this college is and she's one really the only person I can be 100% honest and open with here
- Say Nothing and Stay Friends28% (7)14% (4)21% (11)Vote
- Tell Her and Hope For The Best60% (15)57% (16)58% (31)Vote
- Break Off The Friendship12% (3)29% (8)21% (11)Vote
- Other0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
We are both seriously involved and active in our church meetings that occur on a weekly basis. We have some people we tend to hang out with form that group (but usually not outside of the meetings/events).. I would hate for things to get awkward not only for us but for others.
Most Helpful Girl
I read all of this but you can't stay in limbo forever. I think you must take the plunge and tell her at least something about how how feel and see what she says. Ya know, something occurred to me that I want to share with you... a guy I'm seeing tomorrow, I didn't like him until he asked me out and then it was on, lol, funny but true.2
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Most Helpful Guy
Ok dude. listen to me. and Trust me. I know a lot about this stuff and i been in a similar situation but i didn't let it drag with me like it did with everyone else.
Look man, first of all i want you to realize that you will never be in a relationship unless you do the first move (MOST girls are shy and very few actually dare to go for the first move). That FRIEND of yours might have liked you at one point and even wondered whether you liked her back or not but since you were like a statue and didn't make your move she gave up and thought that you probably just consider her as a friend and nothing more. So now her feelings for you if she ever had some, are probably gone, they are gone because you didn't make your move. Now you have to deal with working on igniting her feelings back up.
Lets assume she never felt anything towards you and always considered you as a friend (although i highly doubt that). Either way, you gotta tell her how u feel. If you don't, it will be something that will bother you FOREVER and haunt you and even HURT you.
Look i once really liked this girl, and my problem was that i was really shy and have never asked a girl out before. But this girl i was going CRAAZY about her and always thinking about her and was counting the days until i meet. What made it harder is that we started out a realllly good relationship as friends (I always thought she liked me though) so i didn't wanna ruin it or make it harder. But it was rrealllly bothering me A LOTTTT and eating my mind. In the end, i decided that i will tell her no matter how hard or embarrassing it was. Because if i don't then first of all i would be a PUSSY, and 2nd of all i would regret it for the rest of my life and always wonder what would have happened if i asked heR MAYBE we would have got married... etc.. etc
So i did it. I went to her, was nervous as shyt. and told her how i feel. It got awkward, i got rejected, and it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. But i NEVER regretted it. Even though my heart was broken, i was REALLY happy deep inside that i actually did something about it and TRIED. It gave me a lot of confidence boost since i was a little satisfied of what i did and now i could move on with my life without looking back at her.2
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