Why do girls tell me I am such an awesome guy, but never want to date me?

Over the past couple years I have been interested in lots of girls, but almost none of them ever expressed even the slightest bit of interest in me, they all tell me I am awesome but never want to date me, some straight up reject me, others get a boyfriend which prompts me to stop liking her. Literally every girl I talk to says something like "You are such an awesome guy, you are so handsome, you are so nice, and you are a smart guy, you will get a beautiful girlfriend". I am 21 and still waiting for that beautiful girlfriend everyone is telling me about, because I still haven't met her, or any girlfriend for that matter. When every girl is telling me I am a good catch, but none of them are willing to actually date me that makes me both mad and confused. My friend was trying to make me feel better about it and told me he thought that maybe they didn't think they were good enough for me, but is that really something girls do? I am beginning to think that I am not nearly as great as these girls are telling me if I never get any interest from girls. Could that be it? I haven't had a girl express interest in me since 10th grade, Why do these girls not consider dating me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If girls are saying that you are genuinely a nice guy, there are two main things I think you may be doing wrong:

    a) coming on as desperate or showing too many problems.

    A girl doesn't want to take care of you all the time; make sure the girl knows that you can take care of someone besides yourself.

    b) you may be accidentally presenting yourself as a very average guy.

    You might get along with everyone, but without a spark why would a girl choose you above other people? Let girls know about your interests and show off personality traits that make you unique :).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow it's like I wrote this post... On the same boat as you man. Girls don't like guys that actually want to feel emotionally connected to them before trying to get in their pants. You most likely are an awesome person, but no girl probably feels like they need to "snatch you" because you're just a good human being. Best of luck!

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What Girls Said 7

  • Maybe you're not exciting enough.

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  • be more flirty with the ladies, it will definitely work.

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    • If they don't find you attractive, that just makes you seem "inappropriate and creepy"

    • @Mesonfielde they might don't find you attractive because you don't show them the other side of yiu

      If you know what I mean😉

  • you have been Friendszoned

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  • because they are bitches! girls don't see the greatness in you! okay if I said you are an awesome guy, I'm going to flirt heavy and take things further
    but remember girls are bitches,

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  • Usually when this happens, guys aren't meeting enough girls and are reserved and keep wasting their emotional energy on a small handful they've grown comfortable with.

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    • Why should I waste energy on people I know I have no interest in knowing? There's a reason guys hang around girls until everyone is comfortable... It's not because we want another guy friend who happens to have a vagina.

    • If the people you know aren't interested in you romantically, though, it's not productive to keep using all of your efforts on those few people. It's time to branch out:

  • Are you getting rejected from the start or after few dates? You probably are great. There is probably a good reason why they don't want to date you. When I reject men like you I do it because:
    -I'm not sexually attracted to them.
    -I don't think they have what it takes to be with me.
    -there's something about them that I don't like or I have a hunch that's telling me not to date them.
    those are the reasons I could think of immediately

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    • I almost never even go out with them. There was one girl recently who I liked a lot, and I thought she was into me so I planned on asking her out this weekend, but she started going out with another guy last week, so apparently she didn't like me as much as I thought. Most of the girls I am interested in, I have known for a month or two, we usually hang out together/have classes together so I talk to them a lot though, I dont see what the issue is. I get to know them a little, then ask them out, and finally go on a date... only the date part never comes. Usually they start going out with another guy, or shut me down, only once has a girl actually agreed to go on a date with me but that was back in high school, and she was done after the first date.

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    • Ya maybe you are right. I keep living in this fantasy world that girls will continue to love me no matter how long I make them wait, I think that its like the movies where a girl doesn't give up on the guy even when he is too nervous to ask her out, or too slow in doing it, in my life though I have found the girls just give up and move on. I dont even make them wait that long, maybe 3 months max, in the grand scheme of things thats barely any time at all, all the girls seem to be in such a hurry to get in relationships, or for the relationship to speed along, when I want to take it nice and easy. Its kind of annoying that girls aren't willing to wait for me, I wish they liked me enough to do that. Thanks for your advice though ill try to speed it along, although I already talk to them about all that stuff, I always ask them about themselves because I was told that is the best way to get them talking.

    • once a girl likes you and knows you like her back she will wait for you but until then she does'nt know that you like her, she has no reason to do anything. When you like someone you have to communicate it. communication is key. I waited long for few men that I really liked and they all hurt me at the end before we even get involved, even though they had the chance to be with me. they each did something stupid that hurt me. I regret letting them get to my feelings. once a man hurts us we have no reason to wait, sometimes not telling the girl you like her hurts.

  • Do you ever show interest in them?

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    • Some girls yes, some girls not as much. I dont straight up tell them, but I think its pretty clear. And either way, if I was such a great guy, girls would be showing interest in me too right? Guys aren't the only one to show interest, at least thats what I think. As I said though a girl hasn't shown interest in me since 10th grade, so maybe it isn't that common, I dont really know.

    • Elaborate on "show interest"? Do I tell her that she is gorgeous and I wanna shag her her brains out upon meeting or do I need to drop subtle hints like, wow you have a very nice smile (those type of compliments are knifes edges to friendshipzone)

What Guys Said 16

  • No need to officially commit to the "awesome guy" who probably gives away everything relationship related WITHOUT being in a relationship. You most likely give away your awesomeness for free sir.

    The guy who's just a bit to friendly. It sucks there is such a thing I know.

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  • I know EXACTLY how you feel man...

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  • I think there may be one or two aspects of your personality that is causing an aversion to them towards you.

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  • "You are such an awesome guy, you are so handsome, you are so nice, and you are a smart guy, you will get a beautiful girlfriend".

    That means they either don't find you physically attractive, or you are exhibiting a particular type of "dealbreaker" behavior which makes them disinterested.

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    • So how do you find out what this deal breaker is so that I can work on it? I really dont know what the issue is, and women dont help because they always say stuff like this which clearly doesn't give me the real reason they dont want to go out with me. I would rather them tell me straight up why they dont want to go out with me then tell me all this other crap to make me feel better that apparently isn't true.

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    • Another girl told me that she said this to someone because he was being "too much of a doormat", and she couldn't feel like she could respect him.

      But this might not even be your problem; it could even have to do with clothing style. o-o

      They won't be able to answer the question "why don't they find you attractive", although it's odd because I know by now why I do and don't find someone attractive nowadays... BUT! With that information out of our hands, the real question here is this:

      IF you had to date yourself, WHAT is it about you that would make you admire you as a person?
      And WHAT is it about you that would make you NOT want to date yourself?

      Evaluate the positives and the negatives, and work to improve on the negatives, while also focusing on your positive traits to keep in check what makes you still be awesome as you are.

    • One thing I found when I was in your age group is the reluctance of a lot of women to tell you what the issue is - they can't deal with confrontation, they don't want to be seen as 'mean' to the 'good' guys. Is it Hygiene - your breath? Your politics? The personalities of the kinds of women you are attracted to? Do a survey of you, no need to respond, these are rhetorical questions. Best.

  • How do you interact with these girls?

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  • Because "you're an awesome guy" is not a good thing in dating world. It's just to comfort you. Being awesome does not count in girls' minds, there is something else. What is that something else? I have no idea.

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  • Because they are lying

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  • They're trying to build you up while they tear you down. It makes rejecting someone easier if you soften the blow a bit.

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  • You are too nice

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  • You're a NIICE guy. Nice guy is not good.

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  • i def feel you kiddo

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  • You and me both bro

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  • It could be because you're fat, have a bad style, or are ugly.

    This will work for 99% of men who aren't fat.

    Literally ask every girl you are attracted to out, even if you don't know them, do this for a week and you'll have a date by the end of the week, maybe don't try this at a place like uni tho, a mall is probably better. But if you're ugly this will just seem creeperish, which is why you do it at a mall. by the way fuck opinions bro, this is how most guys who get girl friends easily do it.

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  • You should read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. It's very classy and artful, and gets really in depth on the psychology of why people fall in love, and even how world leaders have charmed the masses. When I was in the military, I got a few of the officers reading that author's books. Once you figure out exactly what is charming about you, it becomes easier to bring those natural qualities out.

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  • It's not enough to show interest man. you have to work for relationships. You must be doing something wrong and you're not aware of it. Women are smart. Dating isn't easy man.

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  • Yeah they don't find you physically attractive or exciting enough. Nothing else about you matters if you don't have those two things.

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