I am 18 and quite sensitive, reserved, modest, emotional and quiet. I am very attracted to older men because my dad is my best friend, and I subconsciously project my dad's personality and love onto certain older men. However, whenever they catch me staring at them I look away and blush and giggle... they can obviously sense that I am attracted to them, but I know they just look at me as vulnerable prey. I don't know how they sense it, or how they can tell I am a very emotionally sensitive girl.
It makes me sad that especially predators have targeted me in the past because I always assumed that men liked loving, caring, sensitive girls who would look after them. Like cooking for them, cuddling them, kissing them... but I feel so used up by older men trying to take advantage of me.
This has been happening ever since I was 17.
HOW can they sense I am "prey" for them? Because that's all I feel like right now.
Just because you perceive a threat doesn't mean it's actually there. I'd say it's almost impossible all of them see you as prey; let me relate a story from my own life: I personally wanted to kill my sister's ex-husband (as she did also) who was trying to molest her two daughters by a previous marriage. Many of us older guys just think: "She is going to be cute and find a suitable man when she turns 18, etc., bu if I hear of a man who has messed her over, that man better run."
Men find your personality to be endearing, so it's mostly that in a general sense. I wonder if you have had one of these older guys try to do anything to you? Is there a definite act in the past that is making you see threats all around?
You need to be very careful. No 17 year old should be dating men in their 30s-50s, and any man that age who wants a 17 year old has bad intentions. I'm quite confused as you said you like older guys but then are upset because they target you? Of course theyre trying to take advantage of you because you're young and easy to manipulate. Nothing good will come from dating guys that much older than you because you're not mature enough, and guys that old interested in a 17 year old have bad intentions. I honestly think you should see a therapist about this.
It's probably hard for you to understand since you're young, but so much changes and you will grow up so much between now and your mid 20's, even if you feel that you are mature for your age already. You're in a completely different point in your life and need completely different things from a relationship when your 18 and when your in your mid/late 20's, let alone 30's+
Might not be a bad idea to try and find guys who are college age and date them, even if you're more attracted to older men... at least for a while. When you're 22 or 23 it will probably be a lot easier to date men in their 30's or 40's if that's what you want. I imagine when you're in your 30's or 40's and think about dating someone who's 17 or 18 you'll be shocked and amazed that you thought it could work out well for you :-) Good luck though and stay safe!
Please be very carefully. The sort of things you desire are ok nothing wrong with it but as you have recognised it makes you very vulnerable. It's best concealed until you more experienced and able to be better at choosing the right guy.
Well, it is good that you have great relations with your father, but projecting fondness of your preferred age-group of men (30's-50's) while currently 18 years of age can be problematic for a number of reasons.
Hence (while probably not pleasant), it might might be better to take yourself off the market for now until you reach an age where the pursuit is better, or (at the very least) better control the signals you project to them to conceal your fondness.
For now, your outward manifestation might, indeed, attract enough men with questionable intentions such that filtering out those with good intentions becomes a difficult task.
You are 17, what do you expect? I dont know how old you mean by "older" but lets just say 30 year olds. What kind of a 30 year old man would date a 17 year old, just think about that for a second. Projecting your dad into your partners is not healthy, and it will most likely cause a ton of fucked up relationships for you, you need to try to work it out and date guys closer to your own age.
So let me get this straight. You are attracted to older men and you show interest in them but you're saying they are predators who are taking advantage of you when they make a move based off your expression of interest? I think you have issues.
I am sorry that you have problems with predatory guys, we are not all like that. I am an older guy and iIhave deep feelings for a much younger woman, iIcould never treat her bad. I don't know that she knows how I feel, but I was she would give me a better clue than just watching everything I do and flirting. I need to know how she feels. I know its hard but you need to be open with them tell them no or yes if that be the case.
Most likely its wrote all over your face, just be careful.
Well, if you marry a guy who's 30-50 your life will be fucked, that's all I can say. Of course they only use you for sex, no one takes a 30 year old dating an 18 year old seriously.
What Girls Said 2
Your shy sweet sensitive nature is what makes you prey to any age man. I am super reserved and go places in my own a lot and get targeted by every man out there with preying eyes. Dont fall for the bs they sell you. Look for wiser men around 20 to 25 they exist just dont get to chatty with complete strangers because well you know why.
Men prefer young and beautiful girls. But yes , all of them are assholes who do that. Don't worry this also shows that you're very pretty.