What does this relationship sound like to you?

He says he wouldn't be offended if I see other guys but that he's not interested in dating other women. "No time or energy". He's also not sure if he's feeling it long term. Yet he still wants to "keep seeing me". The few times I asked about our status, he gives confusing answers like, "I might refer to you as my girlfriend but I wouldn't likely refer to you as my friends with benefits " It's been going on for a year. We go on dates Fri or Sat nights. Then sleepover and spend time together until 2pm the next day. For dates we usually jog together, go to the movies, play video games, go out to dinner, etc. He insists on paying for the dates everytime lately, but in the past we took turns. And yes he calls them "dates". He texts me each day. But he says he's been too exhausted to see me on work nights. (Sun - Thur). This didn't used to matter because I would come over when he was tired. I used to see him 3-4x / week until his brother moved in 2 months ago. His brother keeps his clothes in his bedroom since there's no other closet space so we can't lock the door. He feels weird about me being over while his brother is there so I only come over when his brother is out. I met a few of his friends but not his family who lives in the same neighborhood. He also lives a 20 minute walk from me. He introduces me by my name. He's interested in day trips, but never out of town getaways. Does this sound like friends with benefits to you? BF/Gf without the title? Semi-casual? Or what?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Semi-casual. That is just as far as he wants to go. He just wants the type of relationship that you can spent time together and do your thing, but not have the official label or full level of commitment and dedication of a true relationship. Kinda like a friends with benefits, but heavy on the friend side. He doesn't need anything more from you, or anyone else. But he does seem to know or feel that maybe you do need more and that is why he is leaving the door open for you to find someone else if you need.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a very complicated situation.
    He (wasn't) sure about being in a long term relationship... but it's been a year already? What made you decide to stay? Mmm... I'm guessing you developed strong feelings for him along the way but afraid of being rejected chose to abide by his rules. The problem here is, you are swimming against the tide. If he didn't changed his mind after a long time, the chances of that happening now are very low. He grew used to it. My advice is, stay if you want that type of non-defined relationship or get out and find someone who can give you more than him.

    • He said he was sure about long term in the beginning. Then it seemed like it was building to something more serious. We had our first big fight 2 months ago and it was like hitting the casual button.

    • Oops I mean it was towards the beginning that he said he was NOT sure.

    • Only you can decide what's best for you. I hope you make the right choice.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like semi-casual dating to me. He'll date you but it seems that's all you're really going to get.

  • I can relate to this. Im in a pretty the same situation but i would say our relationship is more like bf/gf without the tittle. The reason is bcoz he's an expat and he's not sure he's gonna stay here for good. At first, we had a lot of fights about this since i wanted to be exclusive, i didn't need the girlfriend tittle tho coz i would like to take things slow. But i couldn't stand the idea of him sleeping with other girls so i made him choose and he chose me. We started to build up strong feelings for each other (almost a year now) and he actually asked me to move with him if he had to go to another country.
    So for ur situation, i guess u just need some more time together and once u think u've got a strong and stable feelings for him, take a step back and see if he has any acts of being serious and being with u in long terms. If not, then u should move on...

  • He's selfish as hell dump him

    • Curious what makes you say that? He tells me I can date other people.

    • Show All
    • That's what I've been thinking.

    • You should trust your gut at the end of the day a man knows what he wants don't waste your time and energy for someone who is so unclear about what they want you will most likey get hurt. Most importantly know what you want if you want a relationship don't wait for guy to decide go find a good guy who wants the same things. Too many single guys to be messing around with that nonsense. Sorry I don't mean to go on and on lol