Guys, Do guys just not want a relationship in college/university?

Hey guys! So I'm a little confused.. I'm in uni (first year) and it seems like dudes are just not interested in having anything more with me and I'm wondering why. It's not attraction, because I'm gorge not to be conceited and guys check me out, approach me, and talk about me to their friends. Also my personality is really friendly, super chill and it's pretty easy to make me laugh, I just don't sweat the small stuff. Having said that, it seems like guys don't wanna get close to me at all, not even to be good friends. All I get is lame hookup invites which I don't do. And there was this one guy who I was friends with and I would just be friendly about, like I would call him a couple times, text a little bit, and I hugged him the few times I ran into him. That's just the way I usually act (which my guy friends NEVER complain about haha). I was never into this guy, or even attracted to him and tbh, im really out of his league, it's actually his hot friend that I liked and he likes me, but he has a girlfriend and so I completely stopped trying to be anything more. But this one dude just went crazy and started talking shit about me about how I want him. But anyways, should I just accept that guys at this age/phase don't want anything remotely serious? And I also don't want anything serious, but just something light and fun but still a bf/gf relationship, hookups don't cut it for me. And sometimes I think it's the way I dress that puts off guys and make them think I'm high maintenance and want a ring. I dress really stylish and always have my hair done nice (which really attracts guys) and my makeup and stuff. And of course a good figure too. And the reason I want to know if you guys also think a girl who is always "dressed up" is a turn off or I give off a 'serious-relationship' vibe is because I've always heard that guys love when girls dress casual, sweatpants barely or no makeup etc etc. But I can't tone down the way I dress unfortunately bc it'll stress me out if I can't be myself as I love fashion. And I feel like one day when I get involved with a guy who's serious, he'll really appreciate that I always look amazing and respect that about me. Sorry, long post, haha but guys your response is needed :)


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17

Most Helpful Guy

  • Way too long to read.

    Guy in college don't tend to want more than a hookup or a friends with benefit. Why? There are so many girls, that sticking with one can get boring. Also, a relationship takes time. Also, many girls aren't into relationships in college, therefore you change your mentality into "just hookups" so that you have more girls to choose from. Also, you're young, it's too early to get attached.

    I personally don't want a relationship, I have no reason to do so. Why would I? So many girls, so much fun to have. There's enough time to have a relationship.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Seriously, where the fuck else are we gonna find opportunity for serious relationships? College is the BEST place for relationships. That's where people meet their spouses. And I'm 90% sure most guys want a college relationship simply because how much my friends talk about it, and how many Yik Yaks there are about it on my campus.

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  • No it's just that guys know which girls are not relationship worthy after conversation.

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  • I think guys who spent high school dating around just want hook ups in college. Guys who were single all through high school, like me, are looking for a girl who wants a relationship, but have a hard time finding a girl who also wants a relationship. I'm in my second year at a large university and I really haven't found a girl who is looking for a relationship. Most are either still dating a high school sweet hear, looking for one nighters, or not interested in men for the time being.

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  • When I was in college not many guys were in a relationship; there is usually sex available as there are often more girls than guys in many colleges, and there are too many other things to do rather than spend the time to maintain a relationship.

    But there are (still, I assume; been out for a while) guys who would like a relationship so try to make some friends of the other gender and maybe something will develop. If not, you'll have some new friends.

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  • because they don't see you as relationship material

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  • I'm in university and wanting a relationship is generally rather irrelevant, it comes down to meeting someone you can see yourself being attached to, because this person has to be worth giving up the semi-fun player lifestyle for, so you don't look for a relationship, you find someone and then you realise you want one with that person as you get to know each other!

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  • Some do, some don't just depends on the guy.

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  • Guys don't want to be restricted to just one girl.

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  • Just don't sleep with them,, make me earn it x) I'm mean them ,, lol

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  • wow you are so conceited. no wonder you are alone. no bitter semi-ugly bitch is "far out of my league"... .

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  • I never wanted a relationship when I was in college/ university. Simple reason -- career is more important to me than a relationship. If I don't have a job, I will starve to death. If I don't have a life partner -- I'll be single and lonely but life wouldn't be too bad because I will have more freedom and time. Moreover, relationships are sometimes a pain in the ass from a guy's point of view. So, these days many guys are not into them, but just like hookups.

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  • Youve only been there for a month at most? Honestly a lot of guys just starting out at uni will have just broken up with senior school girlfriends and are ready to enjoy the single life at uni.

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  • Guys that age are really more interested in sex than relationships these days. Sex is pretty readily available for most, and guys have kind of soured on relationships in general these days. They are more trouble than they used to be, with fewer benefits for men.

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  • Honestly guys do want relationships, maybe you are just talking to the wrong guys. Chances are if you are as good looking as you say you are then you are probably getting a lot of horny tool bags approaching you and talking to you just looking to have sex. Maybe you should be the one doing the approaching, chances are if you see a nice quieter guy and you are the one approaching then you can call the shots, you are approaching men with the goal of relationships, if you wait for them to come to you then the ones that will approach you are the horny ones. You should also reform the way you are dressing maybe? I dont know if you dress with cleavage showing and midriff expose lots of skin then that could also be a contributing factor to the type of guys you pick up. Bottom line though guys like this are out there, such as myself, most of my friends, and my brothers. You seem to be just bad at finding them/attracting them.

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    • It's so funny bc I am the one that mostly approaches the guy, because he seems nice at first or cool for the most part! And I absolutely never dress showing cleavage and midriff, the usual stuff girls do and don't know why they get the wrong attention LOL it's just not the way I was brought up. So I guess that's why I'm so confused with the whole thing

  • this was way too long to read for me (or at least make separate paragraphs or an tl;dr). but some guys do. i know guys who have 1 night stands and try to go on a sex rampage, but i know a lot of dudes who had a relationship all for years or a few.

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  • I'm in college to learn, not date.

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